Dummies

[Nearlythere80]

Not so much unreasonable as unsure! My 8 week old is starting to be really fussy as times but feeding/pooing/winding/growing well. Combination fed but mainly formula as still very hungry after breastfeeding.

we had a dummy (mam) that we got free in a pack and i popped it in to try, and it seemed to really help, but my partner is set against dummy use as is worried about teeth development etc etc

aibu - avoid dummies
ainbu - most babies use a dummy

I was very much against dummies .. till I had a baby

It’s fine. I would have killed for mine to take a dummy during the fussy newborn stage. Just be strict about losing it at 12-18 months.

They are a mitigating variable in SIDS. Comparing SIDS and teeth? I used a dummy.

BTW your AIBU/AINBU don't make sense.

One of mine had a dummy because he needed the comfort. He had it during the day till he was around 3 then at night till he was almost 5. I can tell you he no problems with speech and no teeth problems. He is now 16 and has very straight teeth. I know kids who sucked their fingers untill around 9 years old, they all have teeth problems. You carnt take away fingers.

They're absolutely fine.

Advise your partner that they'll be a better parent if they look at the current advice/research when making a decision like this.

My eldest LOVED her dummy and it really helped with her reflux. As long as you remove the dummy before their teeth are fully in it has no effect. We removed hers at around 8/9 months as she was waking in the night when she couldn't find it. Her teeth are perfect.

Give him a dummy. It's even supposed to help regulate breathing and so lessen cot death risk.

Maybe get one for your DP too!

A dummy is easier to remove than a thumb. I was deadset against dummies but in reality it was a lifesaver. DD2 (20) voluntarily binned hers at 4; I was still sucking my thumb at 10.

Your partner is being ridiculous. Babies need to suckle.

I had 1 dummy user and 2 thumb suckers - honestly the dummy wear had braces for 12 months, the suckers 2 years+ so I don't think dummies are bad - I wish the other 2 had used them.

They were a lifesaver with my DD who had bad reflux and colic and was difficult to comfort. When they’re little I think you take what you can get to help!

Unless dh is going to be the one to settle dc every single time you are allowed to try your own methods.. If that includes a dummy he cn stfu.... SIDS prevention is a good enough reason anyway surely?

I used a dummy, it did not bother me in the slightest that I used one. As others have said just take it away in time to prevent speech issues. My DD left hers out for the baby birds when it was time for them to go and miraculously a little present appeared in her bedroom. She still remembers it now.

I mean fine use a dummy or not. But please don’t promote the SIDS thing. It is just not true.

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/baby/caring-for-a-newborn/reduce-the-risk-of-sudden-infant-death-syndrome/#:~:text=It's%20possible%20using%20a%20dummy,is%20around%201%20month%20old.

Plus there are good reasons not to give dummies - it can hinder breast feeding for example and it can be problematic for speech development and teeth positioning if they have them during the day or for too long. I believe the current advice is not before 4-6 weeks of breastfeeding, only at night time and try to stop by 12 months.

I think they seem like a good idea at the time but can be counterproductive when they end up needing it to sleep but are unable to put it back in themselves. I remember a long spell with DD when she'd wake up crying every hour because the dummy had fallen out. Then later down the line there's the hassle of getting rid of it.
DS never had one.

Dummy was a lifesaver. Bedtimes as baby / young toddler were so much easier as they looked forward to getting their dummy.

Yeah same. I fretted about it so much with my first one who ditched the dummy himself and ended up a thumb sucker (trust me much harder to manage!). Subsequent kids wouldn't take one for more than a couple of weeks, gutted!

Honestly, do what gets you the most rest now.

I was adamant I wouldn't have my children using dummies. Till I had my firstborn, who sucked and sucked and sucked. So, we got dummies.

They were used in his cot when he went to bed, and nowhere else. They were gone by the time he was three. His next DB had one till he was three, but his next two DB found their thumbs and they were much, much older getting rid of their thumbs.

In hindsight, I'd say do what's best for you, but don't let them take over. Bed only worked for us.

None of my 4 children had dummies and none have sucked their thumbs/ fingers so that’s not true that they will. I planned to give a dummy but my sister said it looked “Chavvy” 🙄 which put me off some people really disliked them, I suppose I’m glad in a way I didn’t give them so didn’t have the drama of taking one away and I BF so didn’t really the need for a dummy.

I successfully bf 11 dc.. None have speech or teeth issues.. All binned around 3 years old of their own accord.. No tears.. No loss of sleeping routine.

I'm with your DH, they look awful (esp on older kids) and there's something depressing about a baby chomping on a gobful of plastic. Mind you, I would have used one if it got DC to sleep!

Mine never took one. I tried. I also got the free one! I was quite glad he wouldn't take it. I was worried how hard it would be to take away! My siblings and I never had dummies either.
Editing to add.. the downside was that I became DSs dummy. He still wakes up at 2 years old and wants to breastfeed for comfort (still, better than a dummy all night I guess? But tiring for me!)

I think we need to be really careful with the ‘I did this and it was fine’ anecdotal stuff. I remember the ex MIL not putting a car seat on my 4 year old and saying ‘my two never wore them and they were fine’.

Statistically most kids will be fine if they have a dummy. Some will be better with a dummy if it stops them finding their thumb. Some parents just need the damn sleep. However, also statistically kids with dummies will be more likely to have speech and teeth problems if they have them for years and during the day than those that don’t have dummies. It is one of those balancing the risk things. For what it is worth, my take on it is I would not automatically give a dummy from birth and I would not give one as my first option if they were fussy at night. But if they really would not settle I would give almost anything a go and if a dummy worked - provided it was night time and would stay in - I would go for it. But try to stop it as soon as I could.

If it helps them settle then definitely. It was the only thing that soothed my screamy colicky baby.

I took it away at 6 months.