Dummies

[Nearlythere80]

Not so much unreasonable as unsure! My 8 week old is starting to be really fussy as times but feeding/pooing/winding/growing well. Combination fed but mainly formula as still very hungry after breastfeeding.

we had a dummy (mam) that we got free in a pack and i popped it in to try, and it seemed to really help, but my partner is set against dummy use as is worried about teeth development etc etc

aibu - avoid dummies
ainbu - most babies use a dummy

I am not for or against, we used one and was fine with using it we had a baby who slept through the night, no idea if the dummy made a difference but no Idea why we would have messed with it

Same here! DS1 found his thumb at 13 weeks and never used a dummy again. DS2 loved his dummy and still had it at night when he was at school. I got a stern warning from the school nurse, but the dentist is adamant that his dental issues are not the result of dummy use.

DS1 - no dummy, nightmare
DS2 - no dummy but much easier child
DD - Dummy until 6 months, once she started spitting it out, it wasn't put back in, dropped off naturally before teething.

Both my boys have had a dummy. Little one only 4 months so he still does. Eldest just started taking it out and throwing it about at 7 months so I binned them all. I think dummies are absolutely fine. I don’t understand the big judgement on them. My mother hates them always saying it looks dreadful, dirty dummies etc

Just make it a sleeping tool. Mine had them at night for sleeping butvthe day after their first birthday theu went in the bin. I loathe seeing children old enough to walk with a dummy wedged in all day whilst they Potter around. Its terrible for speech development and learning to regulate.

I didn't have a dummy ( I'm 58), because my parents felt that dummies were common.
So I sucked my thumb. Only stopped as a teen when we went on a school trip involving dormitory sleeping as I didn't want anyone to laugh at me. Very hard to do as it's attached to you. I had too many teeth so the front ones were pushed out of shape. That may have happened regardless of my thumb sucking but I doubt it helped . I had a brace for a few years as a teen and have lovely teeth now. When my own children were born they were restless and wanted to feed or suck a finger constantly. I was desperate in the end so I gave them a dummy. They had a dummy as needed initially. Then just at night. Then when the current one needed to go in the bin that was that, no more dummies. That happened around 2 years. They both had braces because they also had too many teeth and eldest son had front teeth coming down in the wrong place. They have beautiful teeth now. They were read to, they were spoken to, they were expected to speak clearly and in sentences. Grunting behind a dummy wasn't allowed .

My prem twins were given dummies in their incubators. They gave them up easily at 2. Better than the buck teeth thumb suckers tend to develop.

My eldest had one til 6: perfect teeth, perfect speech, well adjusted kid.

Youngest had one til two when they lost interest.

My feeling is the eldest needed that comfort (they had many other comfort toys) but I hated that random strangers felt the right to comment directly to them, as they did

If you feel it's right for your child then go for it.

I was anti dummies until I had an overtired 3 week old.
She had a dummy between 3weeks and 1 year.
Then a dummy for sleep only between 1 and 2 years.
She begrudgingly gave it up at 2 (teeth are fine, speech was fine).

Like loads of the other responses - no child of mine was ever having a dummy. Until I had a child...

All three of mine had dummies and their teeth are fine. I have a photo of my middle son with FOUR dummies in his mouth at once, which he finds hilarious now, but he gave them up without too much fuss and his teeth are perfect.

I wouldn't worry about it.

They can be so helpful in the early months but I'm cursing the fact we ever started with one as I've now got a 4 year old and 2 year old who both still have them at night!! And I can't get rid!

I never understood why people were against them. Great if you don’t need them but they can also be such a comfort and help with gas. Evidence about it helping SIDS is mixed but tbh I’d try everything just in case. Naturally a baby will suck on boob for milk and then for comfort (like a dummy) - when they do that vibration half suck thing. Either you have them on your boob constantly or you use a dummy. If you use bottles then I’d definitely use a dummy. Victorians used rags. Dummies are fine.

And I agree that it’s better than thumb sucking!

I did not want to use dummies. I have 2 dc, did not use dummies. I know others who did not want to use dummies and did, then others who bought dummies, but the baby did not take to them.

I just did not want to be dealing with lost dummies at night, or giving up the dummy.

This is mot really something anyone can advise on. If it feels right for you, do it. Your partner gets a say when he does all the waking and feeding.

Wouldn't have continued bf without a dummy as mine would have stayed on boob all day and then threw up

This.
Just keep in mind that dummies are for small babies, not toddlers and preschoolers so once the child starts really developing teeth you will need to move to a different type of comforter (blanket, teddy etc). But at 8 weeks go for it.

I have 3 dc and have done my own unplanned experiment.
dd1 didn’t suck anything but had terribly wonky teeth needing braces for 2 years (she’s 16 now)

dd2 is 12 and still sucks here fingers (no idea how it doesn’t make her vomit) and her teeth are straight but slightly stuck out (only noticeable as we can compare with her identical twin sister)

dd3 had dummy until 2 but only for sleeping. She has the most beautifully straight teeth and amazing speech (doesn’t shut up).

we introduced dummies for dtds for our sanity and also they are believed to reduce SIDS (which my own twin sister died of at 4 months). Dummies are fine so long as you remove them when awake and speaking.

Even with the teeth thing - once they give it up, they’re fine.

My cousin had a dummy until he was 8. Seriously. Eight! I don’t know anyone else who’s had one that long. His teeth were funny from around 6, fine before. When he finally gave it up, they went back to normal.🤷‍♀️ so I’ve never worried about how life used them on my kids in comparison! Plus I can’t be the only one who thinks they look cute.

@Lelophants i know someone who still had one at 16. A bit mortifying.

Really? Did they have additional needs? That is unusual.

No additional needs. Just a parent who didn’t enforce that particular boundary.

I wasn't and am not a fan and we didn't use them (or ever own one), but i would have done if I had an unsettled baby and it helped! Gotta do what works best for you! I wouldn't have wanted them losing it at night or trying to stop them using it at 12 months, wasn't overly worried about teeth if they stop using it fairly young.

If I had used one I would have tried to just used it to settle and not all the time like some babies (and then toddlers) have.

I didn't use a dummy at all. However, it is strongly recommended and necessary for formula fed babies due to them not having a sucking reflex of some kind as a result of not breastfeeding.
So it doesn't matter what he thinks, you need one.

My dd2 didn’t give up her dummy altogether until she was nearly 6. She’s early 40s now and her teeth have always been perfect.

Thumbs are a lot worse - you don’t see kids going to school with dummies, but my other dd was still sucking her thumb after she learned to drive!