Dummies

[Nearlythere80]

Not so much unreasonable as unsure! My 8 week old is starting to be really fussy as times but feeding/pooing/winding/growing well. Combination fed but mainly formula as still very hungry after breastfeeding.

we had a dummy (mam) that we got free in a pack and i popped it in to try, and it seemed to really help, but my partner is set against dummy use as is worried about teeth development etc etc

aibu - avoid dummies
ainbu - most babies use a dummy

@jm9138 your link doesn't say it's not true. It says, "It's possible using a dummy at the start of a sleep also reduces the risk of SIDS. But the evidence is not strong and not all experts agree that dummies should be promoted."

I've looked at the evidence (and advice from other countries) and on balance I'm happy with it. I think it's a small effect but I believe it has an effect. Meta studies and all that. I BF for 14 months and DD has perfect teeth.

This goes for me as well! 😂

Mine had a dummy and used it for comfort until they started school. Now a teenager and has perfect teeth.

I know loads of babies who never had a dummy and don't know any who suck their thumbs. We didn't use one and I was glad of it when friends went through taking away their babies comfort items.

Be mindful that dummies are linked to ear infections. They’re not really sure why. But my DC2 was a big dummy fan, and we didn’t ditch it until he was 3. He also suffered with recurrent ear infections including a perforated ear drum twice. I didn’t find out about the link between dummies and ear infections until he was older, but wish I had known at the time! I subsequently avoided dummies with DC3 and 4 as a result. Neither ever had an ear infection. Related or no, I don’t know. But my nephew who was a big dummy user also had trouble with his ears, hearing and then speech as a result.

You do whatever is best for your baby and your sanity. No one knows your baby better than you.

There will always be some fucker that tries to make you feel bad. Whether it is dummies, potty training, how often you read with your child, what you dress them in, school choices, packed lunch decisions etc etc

The list of things for people to judge is endless. You do you, everyone else is taken x

So many mentioning thumbs. My dummy refuser doesn't suck his thumb either. Perhaps that's it - dummies are great for kids that want to suckle. But not every child does. Mine wakes up for breastfeeding for comfort, but this is a few minutes, then he's happy to sleep again.

I have a couple of friends whose babies wouldn't take a dummy and tbh I felt really bad for them! If you are breastfeeding and being used as a human dummy then I would definitely encourage a dummy!

I hated them too - it was the only thing I was dead set against for my child before actually having a baby (back when i was an expert parent)... my first had severe reflux and allergies, the dummy was the only thing that gave him comfort. Alas he didn't give it up until over 3... Perfect teeth though. His baby sister was breastfed and never wanted one, but she's insistent that her baby dolls have them 🫠

I had a dummy until I was 5. Didn't affect my speech and I never needed a brace.

Most people say they won’t use dummies - and then they have a baby. I bought some in but DH was against using them. 4th night home and DS absolutely screamed non stop all night. Nothing we did helped. I was in tears and in pain, not able to do much as DH paced the house (c-section). My mum was staying with us (she sleeps with earplugs in conveniently) and she pops her head out her room at 6am and cheerfully asked how her grandson is and then how long has he been crying like this for. I tearfully informed her we hadn’t actually been to bed yet. She said to us that she understood we didn’t want to use one, and to disregard her comment if so, but that there is a time and a place for dummies and this might be it. DH took no more convincing than that and he dug that dummy out there and then! Peace! My mum then took DS for us so we could have some sleep. I combi fed and it didn’t impact bf as I know there is a concern with that. We only let him have it at nap/bed time and did take one as a back up on long car journeys or days out (more for us than him as it put a stop to the meltdowns!). Prolonged use, like in their mouth all the time, can have an effect on teeth etc. but our dentist said what we did was fine. We’ve just took it away from him now at 21 months and tbh he hasn’t even looked for it, asked for it or cried for it.

Edited to add - DS was a thumb sucker right from the womb. I reasoned I could take a dummy away when required but not his thumb!

You can remove dummies but you can’t remove thumbs if they start sucking them.

Would a thumb sucker carry on when the dummy is removed? I know someone who sucked his thumb still when in secondary school! He was one of the 'cool' kids believe it or not😬

I think the problem is we only have case control studies to base anything on. I remember when my oldest were born swaddling was advised based upon case control studies and now the opposite is advised (although a quick google shows some agencies still advise swaddling and some not).

I think that posting that ‘they are a mitigating factor’ was the bit I was posting against and sorry if it came across a bit harsh. We all try to do the best we can with the information we have and I just felt you were presenting your opinion as fact. But equally my ‘it’s not true’ could also be interpreted as dummies make no difference when it is most accurate to say ‘there is some weak evidence that they may reduce the already low likelihood of SIDS but there are also concerns about speech and dental issues associated with dummy use’ - which is pretty much what the guidance says.

I sucked my finger till I was about 8 and I had dummies 😂 my mum use to threaten to put bleach on it if I wouldn’t stop, a different time back then..

This. I tried one with ds from 6 weeks or so as he was a very Velcro baby. He was dead set against it. With dd we used from birth and breastfeeding went well and sleep was always great. It made life much easier and we only use for sleeps.

I think the only thing that would worry me would be if you have a very very sleepy newborn who will take a dummy instead of feeding.

Dummies start to affect teeth after about 12 months. They definitely have a place in younger babies.

I think that posting that ‘they are a mitigating factor’ was the bit I was posting against and sorry if it came across a bit harsh.

I specifically said, 'variable' not 'factor' because of exactly your point but I should have been more clear that it could be correlation, not causation (and you couldn't do a double blind study!).

I was a dummy pusher! All of mine were happy to take one. Once they reached the age of decently established naps, they were only for bed, and then they were easy to take away when they were toddlers. No teeth issues.

I do a lot of childcare and have had a lot of thumb suckers, and you can’t take those away!!

I had 2 babies who loved dummies and one who didn't want to know.
Dummies definitely helped. They were off them by 18 months and have always had beautifully aligned teeth. My sister was a thumb sucker and her top teeth protrude in a thumb shaped arc!

I had 2 chalk and cheese kids. Didn’t use a dummy for either. However DD2 would have 100% taken to one. She was the sort of baby who discovered her fingers and sucked on them instead.

The main reasons for not using a dummy were I was a terrible disorganised mother it would have been one more thing to sterilise, could not be arsed with the extra faff. A dummy would have been a habit to break later down the line. Nephew still used a dummy at six and I wasn’t having any of that.

Hahahaha, this! I never wanted to use them and my best friend put a couple in her baby shower gift to me when I was pregnant with my first “just in case”…. needless to say I was very thankful she did !

Second baby had one from day one, he was in NICU and they gave him one, they were fairly encouraged there (I think as they reduce SIDs risk?)

First baby - we said definitely no dummy. He ended up sucking his teddies and sleeves incessently.
Second baby - we decided dummies were easier to clean and used Wubbanubs.

My first had a dummy and against my better judgement she was 2 before we removed it - however we never, ever used dummy outside of sleep, so it stayed in her cot at all times. Second wouldn't take a dummy at all. No difference in either of their teeth developement or speech. Both fine.

I was against them until I saw how much they soothed both of my babies.

They become an issue for teeth and speech after 1. So you could let your baby sooth on a dummy till 1 and then have a few days of pain taking it away.

Other pros - teething and calpol - I watched a nurse give calpol and use the dummy to stop my baby spit it out.

I didn’t want my dc to use dummies….till I had one. Honestly it soothes them and anything to get that extra bit of sleep helps. Give her the dummy