To worry that she hasn’t got autism - but will get diagnosed

[Laughterbutchaos21]

I am fully aware that I may be jumped on and I’m willing to accept that.

I have a daughter who is in year 5, she never really shows any traits at home ( does have strong interests ) she has great conversations/ eye contact / no sensory issues to clothes. I am aware it is a spectrum.
school had some difficulties with being overly passive / struggling with certain situations so wanted her to be assessed. This was 2 years ago and I genuinely didn’t think much of it.
stop to a few weeks ago we got an appointment through for an ados assessment followed by an assessor with a community paediatrician.
we went to ados and I sat at the back of the room, but was allowed in as long as I didn’t talk to her etc
I mean the test was done with someone she has never met before I think any child would have found it strange and been anxious.
some of the toys / sections were quite young like watch her play with figures etc.
it was really interesting to see the assement.
fast forward to the community paeds consultant appointment, she asked me a bunch of questions and then told me at the end that although she can’t give me the ADOS score until the the review appointment when the SLT who did the ados will also be there but that she already has the report
and based on his report / school questionnaire and her assessment that the likelihood is that she will be diagnosed.
now I am not saying it’s a bad thing, she is still the same child I love dearly today as she was yesterday but I’m generally shocked and a little confused.
I asked if it was anything that I said that lead to this outcome and she laughed and said no you said the opposite to everyone else.
how does someone in 1 hour long ADOS assessments see more than I have in 10 years ??
can this ADOS assessments tell between it just being an anxious child at the time ?
I think I’m just concerned that she is being diagnosed with something for the rest of her life when I am unsure

It’s way more than not fitting into societal norms.

Diagnostics have got far far better with women and girls now coming forward. I think it was only 2011 that ADHD traits in women were recognised. Women form 50% of the population. Posters have explained this over and again. You’re choosing to ignore it.

And you can’t get a “mild ” diagnosis, you either have it or you don’t with traits needing to impair and restrict life.

That’s not what happened though is it. She was giving an opinion which differed to other posters and then was grilled on what she did as a profession. People were saying “I bet you’re a GP receptionist “ etc so she gave her profession. She wasn’t claiming that it had anything to do with her opinions, she was being jumped on about it. Again there was nothing ableist in her posts she was making observations about current trends which she is perfectly entitled to do-but because people were triggered there was a pile on, which is why MNHQ stepped in.

No she said as a medical professional inferring she had some insider knowledge which she clearly didn’t.

She then continued to goad.

@VitoCorleoneOfMNMafia had it right:

Calling a historically underdiagnosed disabling condition a "bandwagon" is light years beyond offensive.

Disseminating abelist views, just like racist, sexist, homophoic views etc is offensive and needs calling out. Invoking medical expertise as basis for said views takes it to a whole other level.

She was giving an opinion which differed to other posters and then was grilled on what she did as a profession. She wasn’t claiming that it had anything to do with her opinions

When asked if she actually knew anything about autism she said:

I’m in the medical profession. I know enough to form an opinion.

So yes, she was claiming that her medical expertise had something to do with her opinions. People were quite naturally suspicious of "in the medical profession" compared to other professionals saying they were psychologists / completed assessments all the time. So they asked what she did. And it turns out she's a bloody physio, exactly the same as a doctor's receptionist in terms of experience with and expertise of autism, ie none.

There may be people reading who think, oh a medical professional says people are reading up on autistic behaviours and then feigning autism to get a diagnosis, it must be true. This kind of shit absolutely must be called out and I can't imagine why anyone is defending it, or indeed defending a poster who has had so many posts deleted.

Exactly. Autistic people have common traits but at different levels (3 officially). Girls especially often have an 'internalised' presentation which may appear very very subtle indeed to others especially if they don't know them.

"1 hour long ADOS assessments see more than I have in 10 years ??"

Ask all the adults getting diagnosed 😅20-50 years of their parents knowing them didn't pick it up but an assessment with a stranger did.

Also having looked at DD hard and read around the topic a lot DP and I are pretty sure we are autistic too so what's normal for us isn't what's NT.

DD makes fairly normal looking eye contact with us and other people when she's comfortable and otherwise she looks shy or disrespectful 🙈

Though the severity of symptoms will of course vary across a spectrum, autism is binary.

You're either autistic or you're not. Like being pregnant or not. You're not a little bit autistic. You just have traits that are more subtle, or more internalized.

FFS as a parent of a ND individual you really should know this.

Talk about living in a make believe world. The poster was not ableist at all. There was zero discrimination in those post so how dare you compare it to racism or sexism. She was saying that in her experience- she notices a lot of people SELF DIAGNOSING adhd and a massive increase in recent referrals. A current obvious trend. Also speculation that the assessments are not always hard evidence as they are subjective without any specific objective results and there have been, as pps say, many cases of misdiagnosis and some assessments being fairly quick. As another poster said, a lot of “mild” cases being diagnosed and people being told they still have to work etc which undermines the difficulties experienced by those with profound autism or adhd who simply cannot go to work.
Reslise that there is a thing called free speech and you can’t just censor someone for airing their views and speculating on current trends if they are not hateful or discriminatory, like the pps. Just because you are overly offended doesn’t mean you are right and they are wrong and you can brand it “ableist” when it is clearly not.

My point is why should not fitting in with societal “norms” be considered a condition

Autism is so so much more that not fitting in with societal norms!

I personally found this lecture really illuminating to understand more about what autism actually is and I sometimes refer back to it It does address questions like "aren't we all a bit autistic" just after the hour mark. Well worth a listen. I'm sure some of it is by now out of date but I still think it's a really helpful lecture to orient yourself in the science and the general theories of autism which put you in a more informed place to debate things like diagnosis thresholds.

Why has that poster had so many posts deleted on this thread if they weren't disablist?

The posts you can see now might not be outwardly disablist. But without doubt, that poster has been disablist and offensive.

How dare you whinge on behalf of people who hold discrimatory attitudes. They need challenging.

“so they asked what she did. And it turns out she's a bloody physio, exactly the same as a doctor's receptionist in terms of experience with and expertise of autism, ie none.”

Actually I think if she’s got 20 years working in mental health as a health care professional- she has got experience more than a receptions. Educate yourself.

And looking back on many posters- the list of professionals involved repeatedly mentioned: SLT, psychologists, occupational therapists and PHYSIO. Funny that you’ve missed that one. Oh but you know best don’t you, since you think a physio in mental health is as qualified and experienced as a GP receptionist. I’d say that poster has way more clout than you and your personal opinions.

“a lot of “mild” cases being diagnosed and people being told they still have to work etc which undermines the difficulties experienced by those with profound autism or adhd who simply cannot go to work.”

As you’re choosing to ignore this is highly offensive and inaccurate. Nobody gets a “mild” diagnosis.

You are calling someone discriminatory where it is totally unfounded and unreasonable. That also needs challenging. You are trying your best to take the moral high ground when you don’t have one because there is nothing ableist in what the poster said. They were giving their observation and opinion from their experience. They were speculating, there was no discrimination. The only one whinging is you, because there are people on here that don’t agree with you.

I used “mild” because another poster said that they experienced being told they could work ‘like other people diagnosed’ where this was not possible for them, their condition is very profound. She was saying there are more milder cases being diagnosed where people are able to work. That’s where the word mild came from- meaning less severe. It’s not “highly offensive “ at all it’s descriptive. Have considered counselling to look into why you are so easily offended and triggered?

Calling a historically underdiagnosed disabling condition a "bandwagon" is light years beyond offensive.

And looking back on many posters- the list of professionals involved repeatedly mentioned: SLT, psychologists, occupational therapists and PHYSIO. Funny that you’ve missed that one. Oh but you know best don’t you, since you think a physio in mental health is as qualified and experienced as a GP receptionist. I’d say that poster has way more clout than you and your personal opinions.

Are you the same poster?
Physios are not involved in the diagnosis of autism, it's quite mind blowing that you think they are. In terms of autism diagnosis, yes they are as qualified and experienced as a GP receptionist, or a heart surgeon, or a paramedic.

Here's a useful link which explains which health professionals are involved:

www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/diagnosis/professionals-involved/non-clinical-professionals

If she gets a diagnosis, so what?

You're under no obligation to acknowledge it, and nor is she under any obligation to disclose it in the future.

Dismissing any disability which limits and impairs everyday functioning as “mild”
is hugely offensive and incorrect.

Your reference to counselling is just patronising, nasty and goady.

I'm aware.

But even after all that with us they still got it wrong. Mistakes happen.

Calling a historically underdiagnosed disabling condition a "bandwagon" is light years beyond offensive.

Abelism is real, and it blights and constrains lives, just like racism and sexism.

It's not straightforward to compare severity. One person might be able to work yet their internalised presentation puts them at risk for severe mental health issues and even suicide. The impact is still severe, but possibly less observable to others. That's just one example. Things also fluctuate a lot depending on people's life situations - one minute you are functioning, the next you are not.

I'm not triggered by anyone but it's just a bit tedious with folk who seem not being be very informed about autism which is fine but also aren't interested in learning and want to espouse views without referring to any kind of basic evidence.