To worry that she hasn’t got autism - but will get diagnosed

[Laughterbutchaos21]

I am fully aware that I may be jumped on and I’m willing to accept that.

I have a daughter who is in year 5, she never really shows any traits at home ( does have strong interests ) she has great conversations/ eye contact / no sensory issues to clothes. I am aware it is a spectrum.
school had some difficulties with being overly passive / struggling with certain situations so wanted her to be assessed. This was 2 years ago and I genuinely didn’t think much of it.
stop to a few weeks ago we got an appointment through for an ados assessment followed by an assessor with a community paediatrician.
we went to ados and I sat at the back of the room, but was allowed in as long as I didn’t talk to her etc
I mean the test was done with someone she has never met before I think any child would have found it strange and been anxious.
some of the toys / sections were quite young like watch her play with figures etc.
it was really interesting to see the assement.
fast forward to the community paeds consultant appointment, she asked me a bunch of questions and then told me at the end that although she can’t give me the ADOS score until the the review appointment when the SLT who did the ados will also be there but that she already has the report
and based on his report / school questionnaire and her assessment that the likelihood is that she will be diagnosed.
now I am not saying it’s a bad thing, she is still the same child I love dearly today as she was yesterday but I’m generally shocked and a little confused.
I asked if it was anything that I said that lead to this outcome and she laughed and said no you said the opposite to everyone else.
how does someone in 1 hour long ADOS assessments see more than I have in 10 years ??
can this ADOS assessments tell between it just being an anxious child at the time ?
I think I’m just concerned that she is being diagnosed with something for the rest of her life when I am unsure

It was ever thus.

You have to remember that DSM3 categorised Aspergers Syndrome and Pervasive Development Disorder seperately from 'classic' autism.

These have been brought together.

‘They tried to wipe it out’: the problem with talking about Asperger’s | Autism | The Guardian
A specific problem Volkmar still sees a decade on is that the definition of ASD was effectively made more stringent under DSM-5 – and people at the margins, who might have qualified for Asperger’s or atypical autism, are missing out on a diagnosis as a result.

That article does have the link to the huge increase of diagnoses (a 787%, exponential increase in recorded incidence of autism diagnoses between 1998 and 2018) BUT this is over twenty years not two: and as the article above neatly sums up, the biggest increases were in women and people over the age of 19. It isn’t that DSM-5 has necessarily changed much but that diagnosis is being more widely applied and there’s a historical backlog. (This explains why we are seeing more adults and women finally being diagnosed).
Time trends in autism diagnosis over 20 years: a UK population‐based cohort study - Russell - 2022 - Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry - Wiley Online Library

I thought that - that DSM5 had tightened things up a bit.

Also worth remembering that iirc DSM3 was the first time autism was categorised in this way and was 40 odd years ago, so not surprising that things have developed since then, it would be pretty worrying if they hadn't.

You've beaten me to that.

Also, it used to be the case that only the most severe, life-threatening cases of asthma were diagnosed. That doesn't mean that mildly-asthmatic children aren't asthmatic, they are, and it doesn't mean that they should be denied inhalers.

The same decency should be shown to autistic children.

there have been, as pps say, many cases of misdiagnosis

If you reread my posts, you'll see that I support asking for a second opinion.

Anecdotes of other things being misdiagnosed as autism don't negate the observed reality that autism is underdiagnosed and often misdiagnosed as BPD in women. Your argument is to a discussion about misdiagnosis of a potentially neurodivergent child what "some women hit men" is to a discussion started by a woman who isn't sure whether her BIL may be beating her sister.

I've just hidden the whole of AIBU in my talk settings because it's a cesspool in a way that FWR, Relationships, Neurodiverse Mumsnetters, etc aren't.

It's a shame because I sometimes see threads in AIBU where the poster really needs to see LTB for her own safety and I won't spot those to post LTB and why.