This 3rd kid of ours...

[Melancholy87]

Some days I wake up a bit tired and I look at our 2 kids aged 4 & 2 and I say to myself that we are good, we are ok, we don't need any extra chaos.

Some afternoons I try to put my kids to nap, they protest, I go up and down the stairs numerous times and I say to myself that we are good, we are ok, we don't need any extra chaos.

Some nights I wake up tired in the early hours as my daughter is crying and I go to her room to reassure her that everything is ok and nightmares are not real, and I say to myself that we are good, we are ok, we don't need any extra chaos.

Some evenings I come back home tired after work, I pick up the kids from the nursery, they are overtired, they fight and I try to calm them down and I say to myself that we are good, we are ok, we don't need any extra chaos.

...And there are some days, quite a few of them, that I am not too tired, I have slept well, the house is tidy, work is not too stressful, they play together and don't fight, and I say to myself that I want so badly to meet this 3rd kid of ours...

Not a yabu but thought to post to see if it resonates with anyone else...

I regret not having another, and I’m at an age where I can’t now, but I still regret it.

Yes.

Mine are older. I’m older. It would be a huge change having a third. But I can’t stop thinking about a third.

I had fertility issues - I didn't get to choose the size of my family. Do I wish my only DC wasn't an only? Sometimes, but I am also enormously grateful that I have him.
I think the question is do you want another baby/toddler/primary school child/teenager/adult child in years to come or is it a broody desire for another baby and if so will your body crave no. 4 when no. 3 is beyond the baby years?

We had an unplanned 3rd child and she is an absolute legend!! Shes hilarious, a total rascal, a force to be reckoned with and very very loved! I always really wanted a third and when she was born I felt happy and am definitely done!

I have three.
The third is a game changer in terms of logistics and planning. It has a significant financial impact - three seats in the back of the car, extra rooms on holiday, more cost in general.
But I adore him.
It's heart versus head, logic doesn't apply in a way.
Good luck with your decision.

We chose not to have a third but it was difficult to make the decision.

Let me say now, having a tween and a teen, that I am so so relieved we don't have more to deal with than we do.

I saw someone on here once say that having teenagers is like dropping a bomb into your marriage and that's about right.

Three lovely squishy little kids is one thing...

We choose to have a third and have no regrets- but we did our maths first to see if we could afford extra help around the house....

4 closely follows 3 🤣 that said our number 3 is amazing right now. He had a phase of hell in his 2s but now he is the best! Number 4 however has so many health issues bless him

I understand what you mean. I stopped at two but before we even decided to have our second, I felt like I was waiting to meet him.

Now I have two I have the odd day where I think another would be nice… but I no longer feel like someone is waiting in the wings to born.

If you can practically cope with another, I’d go with your gut.

I‘M glad I stuck at 2. Both of them have ADHD! They have nearly driven me to an early grave over the years. Another one like those 2……
Just to add I love them both beyond measure but by god they’ve been hard work to raise.

Our four are aged 5-15. I adore all of them but fuck me, I do not recommend it. I agree that teenagers test a relationship like nothing else.

I'm 5mo pregnant with our third and am quite excited for the chaos.

We do need a bigger car though...

I had a horrific life threatening miscarriage a little over a decade ago. I do wonder what life would be like with her here, as well as the other 2. She'd have been starting secondary school this year 🥹

I have 3 and often wonder if we should’ve stopped at the 2.

Money, house, holidays etc… all the usual concerns. It also put a strain on my marriage and mental health - not so much while they were little but now they’re teens it’s got harder.

Having a third has also affected the sibling dynamic. But it’s hard to say what it would’ve been like otherwise.

They’re all good kids, no major issues but now I’m older I’m more worn out by the lot of them!!

But the heart wants what it wants. And I was exactly like you OP!

I have 2 and I desperately wanted a third. Especially being in my 30s now. But when I think about the first trimester and how crap I felt, having to work in a new job feeling like that makes me feel like I'm content with 2.
I want new career prospects now and get a nice new car, things we couldn't afford if we had a third. I'm grateful and humble for having the little family I have.
We even compromised and got a dog instead so I can't change my mind 😂

I have three. Number three is a game changer!! Life is chaotic but so much more fun with him here!!

I have to say my third was the most fun, a combination of his personality and the fact that I was finally confident enough to not sweat the small stuff ( sorry DS1 and 2, we are definitely softer with DS3!).

My third is 3 months. I want to shout from the roof tops that I've had the best newborn experience ever because my elder 2 only started sleeping through the night 6 months ago. Lmao.

My "accident" baby is the best thing to happen to me, instant love at first sight

I think that’s a lovely way of putting it, if you want an easy life stick with 2! However the 3rd was definitely worth it 🥰

Yes! Someone once said what does your family dinner table look like in the future and I couldn't get it out of my head, there were always 3! I'm 15 weeks pregnant with DC3 and it's exhausting but I know 3 is the magic number for us!

First year of my third was awful.

But I honestly couldn't imagine my life without DC3.

Holidays cost twice as much. I am absolutely harassed every waking second of the day. But honestly it's amazing.

I can't relate to this at all. I have one. I have no desire to revisit the horrific labour and subsequent blood transfusion, the sleepless nights, the chaos, the bleeding nipples, the loss of my salary for a year, the nappies, the weaning, the taking half of Mothercare to leave the house. I love him absolutely and completely , I love who he is growing in to, the things we can enjoy together now, the plans we have for the future. I have absolutely no need to go back, to repeat anything, for another. To the extent that DH had a vasectomy recently.

I had my third nearly three weeks ago. She has several unexpected major medical issues, will have learning difficulties and likely never live independently, and it’s totally changed our future trajectory but my heart has never been so full.

SAME

My third is almost two, my older children were both primary school age when he was born so a decent age gap but they're so good with him. I was in my late thirties and knew it was now or never. He was a dream baby, and the newborn phase was no issue. I'm aware from previous experience that if he didn't sleep it would have been a nightmare juggling all three.

He honestly completed our family, the moment he was born I knew he would be my last baby and he is a little treasure.