Stop saying 'myself and...'

[Ridiculous24]

I'm sorry, I'm grumpy.
It's everywhere.
The top level at work are now using it. They have English degrees.

Myself finds nothing wrong with it. Yourself should give yourself's head a wobble.

I joined this thread to bemoan the fact that even BBC news is abusing the reflexive pronoun but someone has already beaten me too it!

I'm a partner in a law firm and our (very bright and academic) trainees almost all do it! It looks particularly awful in a formal letter. I keep trying, I explain the rule and how it is used, I warn them that they are at risk of sounding like junior estate agents but I'm fighting a losing battle.

Many people are convinced that this is the more "proper" way to speak and that saying "me" or "I" looks too casual or slovenly. Yet the opposite is true!

<screams into the abyss>

It really annoys me too. I'd never correct anyone, but I also inwardly cringe when someone says it.

I confess to only learning what a noun and a verb was when I started learning a foreign language at school. My school friends and I (!) have discussed this in the past, in that we're obviously a generation of children that were never taught was a preposition was, etc. I generally know what is right and wrong, but not what the terminology is.

It used to really, really grind on me, but since meeting my DH I have chilled out quite a lot, otherwise we'd be divorced by now and, other than his terrible grammar, I actually like him quite a lot!

He does, however, use "have" instead of "of", thank goodness. We might not have been able to make it past that otherwise! 😂

My other pet hate is “I was stood/sat there”. Just why? Sixth word out of the winning Labour candidate’s mouth this morning: ‘I am delighted to be stood here’… Just NO! I couldn’t bear to
listen after that.

@KVick School was a very long time ago for me, and maybe I missed the lessons but I do not recall any formal grammar teaching in my state school in the 70s and 80s. It was possible to pass O Level English Lit and Lang without really understanding grammar or punctuation. In fact I got A grades in both and A at A Level too, despite any correct grammar and punctuation being a happy accident. It was only when I went to work for a former Mirror editor that I learned about the structure and rules behind what I’d written. I was probably saved by the fact I read a lot which perhaps gives one an ear for something that doesn’t sound right.

Misuse of the reflexive pronoun is jarring but I hadn’t noticed that it’s more prevalent now. I remember it being a faux sophistication years ago. Perhaps I’ve been too busy stamping out use of the word “like” and overuse of “so” to notice.

It’s no use saying anything on here. Ditto with e.g. lose/loose - the people who make such basic mistakes are never going to take any notice. 🙁

Don't get me started on "I was laying in bed" - no, you weren't (unless you were a hen). See also "the body was discovered laying on its side" - no, it bloody well wasn't.

Another pet peeve of mine is "with regards to" and "in regards to". You're not sending greetings - you're referencing something.

I shout at the telly when I hear someone uttering these verbal atrocities.

And to whoever asked me if I really corrected the grammar of the BT operative who asked me if something was acceptable to myself - yes, I did. She cold-called me and tried to sell me something that I didn't need or want, and refused to admit that her call was essentially a sales opportunity.

So I gave it to her with both barrels.

Hate it. Used by people who want to make themselves sound important and sophisticated. No, you sound silly, pompous and ignorant.

I don't usually care about other people's grammar but this one annoys me, purely because it's so pretentious.

Does it matter if they never know? We all have gaps in our general knowledge. A BT engineer isn't writing formal letters, and if they are then their line manager or colleagues can correct them.

@YouOKHun - interesting you say that about school. I went to a grammar school in the 70s and I have a clear memory of my mum explaining to me - when I was about 12 - what nouns, verbs etc were because I'd never been taught that at school.

@ColleenDonaghy , the managers probably won't know.
In @TheShellBeach 's post it was a BT operative saying it, and it irritated her. it therefore affected the operative's ability to do the job, so it does matter.

Can I add my pet hate? "Can I get a flat white?" No you moron, the barista will get it for you!

I joined this thread to bemoan the fact that even BBC news is abusing the reflexive pronoun but someone has already beaten me too it!

I'm a partner in a law firm and our (very bright and academic) trainees almost all do it! It looks particularly awful in a formal letter. I keep trying, I explain the rule and how it is used, I warn them that they are at risk of sounding like junior estate agents but I'm fighting a losing battle.

Many people are convinced that this is the more "proper" way to speak and that saying "me" or "I" looks too casual or slovenly. Yet the opposite is true!

<screams into the abyss>
@honeylulu I once told my line manager that she was spelling "tenants" incorrectly. We had a big discussion about it, as she was using it every day in emails to other professionals, formal letters, etc.. About three hours later, in our handover book 'The tennants have had a good day'.

I agree with you completely but it's getting difficult not to use 'myself' because so many people seem to think it is correct and I worry they will look down on me (or should that be look down on myself 🤣) for using 'me' or 'I'!

Yes that’s actually quite common as a jokey thing in the NW

@IKnowYouBetterThanThat , you use the reflexive pronoun when you already have referred to the pronoun. e.g. 'I wouldn't do it by myself' or 'Did you do it yourself'.

If you haven't referred to the pronoun(s), avoid using it.
If you say something like 'Could you address it to myself' is grammatically incorrect.

Other people using it incorrectly should not encourage you to do the same.

It's very rare that giving both barrels to someone working in customer services will find you on the moral high ground. I doubt she enjoyed trying to upsell you but she has to work to a script and she'd like to keep her (likely not very enjoyable) job. You could just say no thank you, no need to berate her for a choice that isn't hers and then criticise her grammar on top.

There are more important things than grammar, like civility.

It's not really regional, it is quite old fashioned though. It is a working class expression that was used widely but is now dying out. It's an informal/slang term and as such falls outside the rules of grammar. Rather like saying "I'm waiting for madam to get out of bed" when referring to your teenage daughter. "Him indoors" was also used in the same context. Anyone remember Arthur Daley and "her indoors"?

So true! I think they think it's more formal/businesslike/intelligent somehow. It's not.

Within instead of in.

It's taken me 15 years to beat this out of my husband.

This is something a toddler might say in the very early stages of learning language as communication!

I call it mock posh :/

You've got your rules confused. The one you cite is for when to use "we" or "us".

"Myself" is a reflexive pronoun and is used when you are doing something to, with, by, for etc yourself. Example, "I looked at myself in the mirror".

See the steward of MJM Airways, Arthur Shappey (aka John Finnemore), in numerous episodes of "Cabin Pressure". He over-uses "myself", "yourself" and "may/might yourself" indiscriminately for humorous effect, though it's not funny any longer as this misuse has now entered what passes for normal daily speech.

I was watching The Apprentice last night and nearly chewed through my own arm in fury at the “ there is clues” and “there is situations” dialogue on the video the Supream (sic) Team made for their escape game. I was hoping Lord S or one of the others would pick up on it and be scathing, but they didn’t .

For £250,000 I would expect my apprentice to understand and apply simple rules of grammar.