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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Stop saying 'myself and...'

187 replies

Ridiculous24 · 16/02/2024 04:46

I'm sorry, I'm grumpy.
It's everywhere.
The top level at work are now using it. They have English degrees.

OP posts:
NoNameisGoodEnough · 16/02/2024 07:13

The 'myself' thing makes me cringe. No, it doesn't sound more formal, it sounds ridiculous.

The mother of my childhood friend used to constantly correct her use of '... and I' so I always hear her voice whenever I think of which one to use.

YouOKHun · 16/02/2024 07:28

Yep, misuse of the reflexive pronoun. As others have said, I think it is seen as more sophisticated or a more formal way to communicate by some. It’s jarring and doesn’t make sense.

Notahotmess · 16/02/2024 07:29

Yes this drives me MAD. For some reason I think people do it to sound more professional?!

Notahotmess · 16/02/2024 07:32

The other one that does my head in is when people say "your be" as in "your be OK" rather than "you'll be OK". Just why?! It doesn't even make sense.

brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr · 16/02/2024 07:33

The lingustic equivalent of a cheap shiny suit.

Itscatsallthewaydown · 16/02/2024 07:33

There’s a Pedant’s Corner for this kind of linguistic policing.

PrincessTeaSet · 16/02/2024 07:35

And yet when children are taught grammar in school it's all totally unnecessary, "well I never learned grammar and I 'm ok" etc

nighttimeforgenerals88 · 16/02/2024 07:36

It drives me mad. I see it so much now, but luckily don't hear it so often.

I've started looking down on those who use it. If that makes me a snob then, quite frankly, I'm a snob 🤣

youcandanceifyouwanna · 16/02/2024 07:36

I don't understand how or why the incorrect use of 'myself' crept into the language. 30 years ago I don't remember hearing it used in this way. It's similiar to 'sat' used incorrectly, e.g 'I was sat at the bus stop', which when I was a child part of working class colloquial speech and a sign of a lack of education. Now it's crept into formal writing.

Cosyblankets · 16/02/2024 07:36

iceskater1 · 16/02/2024 05:30

Yes it is obvious in your example, but that isn't quite the way in which OP is describing its use.

Your example is in the passive voice, where it's obviously incorrect. OP is describing it used as the subject in the active voice, i.e.

"Myself and Judy are in the office today"
(rather than "Judy and I").

It's not technically correct but I don't have a problem with it.

Myself and Judy sounds ridiculous

Notahotmess · 16/02/2024 07:38

PrincessTeaSet · 16/02/2024 07:35

And yet when children are taught grammar in school it's all totally unnecessary, "well I never learned grammar and I 'm ok" etc

My spelling and grammar are up to standard because of the amount I read, not because I was taught the rules of grammar. I find it intuitive.

Despite having grammar rules drilled into them from an early age now, I think the general standard of writing among teenagers and younger people is pretty dreadful.

sorrynotathome · 16/02/2024 07:38

It’s not “more formal” it’s just self-obsessed, like many people nowadays. It literally is all about me me me.

Hercisback · 16/02/2024 07:41

@brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr are you a teacher? Cheap shiny suit 🤣 blue with brown shoes...

Lifestooshort71 · 16/02/2024 07:41

The late Queen regularly referred to 'My husband and I' on important court circulars and in speeches and some omefians/cartoonists took the piss out of it (can't quote names as it was many years ago). It made the 'and I' a bit of a joke so fell out of fashion. A shame as, I agree, replacing it with 'myself' is clumsy and just sounds wrong. Try saying 'my husband and I' without sounding posh.....

Isthisit2 · 16/02/2024 07:41

I’m Irish and due to English colonisation we speak English but there’s also the Irish language. “Myself and… is normal to say in English here as it’s a translation from Irish where “myself” would come first in the sentence. Languages evolve in different countries. Maybe some of the people you heard were brought up by Irish parents or they are from an area where this expression is used.

LakieLady · 16/02/2024 07:41

Lifebeganat50 · 16/02/2024 06:23

It doesn’t sound more formal and sophisticated. It sounds ignorant and pretentious

I agree.

Only an idiot would think that something so blatantly wrong and nonsensical could sound "sophisticated".

MinnieMountain · 16/02/2024 07:42

I’ll take “myself” and raise you incorrect use of “may”. As in “please may you tell us…”. The arch myself-er at work started using it. I got him to stop for his written work when I trained him on something, but it’s spread.

PeridotSparkle · 16/02/2024 07:43

It's horrendous OP

PeridotSparkle · 16/02/2024 07:46

Garlickit · 16/02/2024 05:19

While we're at it, can we also kill "Fred and I" when it should be "and me"? Sometimes we even get "Fred and I's thing", which is piling insanity upon abomination!

"Well Fred and I" is correct in some circumstances.

Eg:

Fred and I went to the zoo

Clare is coming with Fred and Me on Saturday.

Remove Fred and then talk about yourself in the way you normally would.

Spirallingdownwards · 16/02/2024 07:46

iceskater1 · 16/02/2024 05:23

It is a funny one with "Myself" as the subject of the sentence. I suppose it's not really grammatically correct, but it doesn't bother me all that much. It just sounds a bit more formal I suppose?

Language changes all the time, it's fluid like water, not solid. If enough people use a word in a certain way for long enough then it becomes correct. The rules are in constant flux and they are not always regular.

I think it's OK.

That is why people say it. They THINK it sounds more formal or posher but it actually does not because it is incorrect and comes across as though they are too dim to realise that.

It seems to be used by people on reality TV like The Apprentice when they seem to want to impress but laughably it has the entirely opposite effect because they can't grasp basic grammar concepts.

Yes language changes with usage but this is one case where it shouldn't!

Cosyblankets · 16/02/2024 07:47

These threads come up quite often on here with plenty of replies saying yes it's awful. Then I'll go onto another thread and when someone points a wrong myself out they get accused of being picky.

Reallybadidea · 16/02/2024 07:48

I agree it's awful but it's not a new thing - one of my favourite books was written in the 1930s and the protagonist says "myself" A LOT.

Agree with the pp raging about "Fred and I's". Awful.

PeridotSparkle · 16/02/2024 07:49

Itscatsallthewaydown · 16/02/2024 07:33

There’s a Pedant’s Corner for this kind of linguistic policing.

The problem with putting it in the corner, is that only the pedants will read it.

If everyone read it, they might learn how to speak English!

MamaToABeautifulBoy · 16/02/2024 07:50

Isthisit2 · 16/02/2024 07:41

I’m Irish and due to English colonisation we speak English but there’s also the Irish language. “Myself and… is normal to say in English here as it’s a translation from Irish where “myself” would come first in the sentence. Languages evolve in different countries. Maybe some of the people you heard were brought up by Irish parents or they are from an area where this expression is used.

My parents are Irish. I detest the incorrect usage of ‘myself’.

UnlikelySuperstar · 16/02/2024 07:51

TheShellBeach · 16/02/2024 05:12

They also say things like "is that acceptable to yourself"?

Someone from BT said that to me last week, so I gave her a lesson in grammar.

Grin

Oh Christ the poor BT lady

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