daughter was asked to leave homebase because she's under 18?

[whatisgoingonitw]

My daughter and her friend (both 15) went shopping yesterday and nipped into Homebase as my daughter wanted a plant and her friend wanted a heated blanket. They were approached by a member of staff who said “what age are you both you don’t look old enough to be in here” they replied 15. The member of staff asked them to leave as you need to be 18 to shop. My daughter is very straight forward and says how it is, she told the member of staff no as that is not true. The girls continued to walk around the store and they were followed by this lady who works there. They got to the till and paid with no issues the employee at the till didn’t mention age. My daughter told me this when she got home and explained the employee was rude and followed them around the store as well as giving them “dirty looks” I rung the store today to speak to a manager as that customer service is not okay. He told me you do infact need to be with an adult 18+ to shop. Is this serious? I can’t find anything on the website.

Except this also applies to all supermarkets, the Coop, B&M, Poundland etc. Any shop that sells toilet cleaner sells a liquid that can be used to cause harm!

Which shops do you think teens / young adults should be allowed to enter?

It's one thing having a rule about unaccompanied younger children, but excluding young adults of 15, 16, 17 is not a sensible policy. A person doesn't become less likely to shoplift just because they are over a certain age.

Good for your daughter, but you must realise that not everyone with autism presents in the same way and has the same skills?

I was in care and moved in to supported accommodation and I had my own flat at 16 it does happen

Wow this has turned in to a frosty thread.

I had no idea you had to be over 18 to look around Homebase so thanks for highlighting it.

My daughter would have probably questioned this rule too, especially if I as her parent had let her go shopping there. She would be very confused as to why an innocent person wanting to spend money would be refused entry, regardless of age.

She always likes to know why a rule exists before blindly following. If it's explained to her and she understands, she will happily abide by it. If it doesn't make sense to her, she still abides but not as happily (a bit like me when I have to do my tax returns!)

I admire that in her and find it sad that others would find it rude... It's just honest!

Anyway thanks again though for highlighting it.

But why should they have to? Why should a 17 year old who wants to buy a shelf for their bedroom have to spend ages working out which shops will permit them to enter?

These are young adults who will be expected to participate in adult society very soon, why do we base our treatment of them on an assumption that they are incapable/badly behaved/malicious? And then is it a surprise that they are pissed off with it?

Your DD is lucky enough to have a childhood diagnosis and consequent support. I was diagnosed aged over 40 and yet to have a single coaching session. I've had to try to self-teach social skills, failed, burned out in the attempt, ended up with lifelong depression that is at time suicidal levels, and have given up with trying to be nice.

Is your daughter a younger clone of me? I get really upset by rules that seem to have no purpose too and also get into trouble for challenging them, apparently "the wrong way" but no one has ever told me what the right way is in a way that I can consistently follow.

This whole "you can ask, but not in those words, no, not those words either, no, you need to smile more and look less hostile (I smile like Jaws going for the kill BTW, I cannot fake a warm smile to save my life), no, your body language is wrong" seems a lot to me like tone-policing.

WTF is ‘tone policing’? Do you mean it’s wrong to object to being insulted, abused or shouted at?

What on earth are you on about

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tonepolicing

@MaloneMeadow

tl;dr: see picture.

OK. It’s meaningless.

That’s because it’s not true. Minors can enter into a contract in the UK. Generally such a contract would be voidable until the child reaches the age of 18, but they can be bound by a contract for necessities, including accommodation or, for example, a contract for education or training such as an apprenticeship

Why? She phoned the shop and they confirmed that all under 18’s have to be with someone 18+ for some bizarre reason, so there was probably nothing else to it.

Nobody said anything to you about tone? What exactly is the point you’re trying to make?

Can’t say that any of that is true for my DD. She has only recently been diagnosed, no coaching sessions here. Your posts lead me to believe that you do know and realise the difference between being polite and impolite, you don’t need a coaching session to tell you what’s right and wrong.

Rules are generally in place to protect the organisation not individuals

Plants? A cute little mirror? Scatter cushions? Fairy lights? All at homebase. What were you into at 16? They do sell glue and blades. It's just not the first thing that springs to mind for most folk.

If I could consistently tell the difference between polite and impolite, my line manager would not have have to take me to one side today to tell me that I'd upset someone, because I would already have known. I didn't know and still don't understand why.

What I described was the really unhelpful feedback I get when I get it "wrong" (according to NT people).

No need to be a smart arse. Context is important here, I'm sure the shop worker knew more about basic policy than the daughter 🙄

I don't live in the UK, but have never heard of any normal retail stores who have any age limit for customers, and I see a lot of teens in various stores. Madness.

You greatly overestimate the training given to typical shop floor workers.

I cannot understand why posters are ng your daughter heat! Good on her for standing up for herself 👏

Ref the age restriction or any other restriction, a shop can set any rule they want as long as it doesn't discriminate - disability, race, religion, gender, sexuality.

And to the dumb dumb who suggested a 16yo would be renting and therefore couldn't have their own place, why assume that? A 16yo could own a property or be in sheltered accomodation cos they've just left care....

Rudeness and being straightforward are clearly quite subjective. 😂 I think your latter example is rude. You first is outrageously rude - verbally abusive.

I think of it as a DIY store. Its not generally a shop i’d expect to see teenagers shopping in (unless dragged along by parents).