To be so annoyed with a friend and pull her up on her contradictions?

[pussinboots61]

How do you deal with awkward friends? I have a friend who makes issues every time we make arrangements.

The latest thing is that a group of us are arranging to go for a meal in March. My friend and her friend who comes along are insisting on the meal being early because they don’t want to be out after dark.

Initially, my other friend who is booking the meal thought the meal we are going for, which is an afternoon tea, would only be served from 3.00 pm and the awkward one was saying that’s no good as she and her friend have to be home before dark. My other friend enquired and the meal is now served all day so its booked for 1.30 pm which suits everyone.

However, what annoys me is that the awkward friend was prepared to spoil it for everyone and make it all about her again. But to cap it all, she sent me a text this morning to tell me that she and her friend are going to the theatre tonight, hence they will be out after dark.

Is it better to ignore this contradiction or pick her up on it? It’s really getting on my nerves now.

She doesn't drive. I can't see her getting a taxi as she lives quite far out of town and it would be expensive.

I've sent the message. I've just said to enjoy the theatre tonight but I thought she didn't like being out at night in the dark or is she getting a taxi?

I've also said I am looking forward to the meal and maybe we can go back to our other friend's house for coffee who lives in that area or move on elsewhere. If she comes back with she and her friend need to get home I will then question it.

So she can't work, can't drive, can't be out after dark? Can't see much appeal in this friend.

exactly this!

I dont really see the issue - preferring not to be out after dark does not mean never being out after dark, in any place, in any circumstances, does it. Not a contradiction, really

I wouldn’t say anything now, but would if it came up again and they used that excuse

if you booked something again and she said she doesn’t like being out after dark I would remind she does go out after dark as evidenced by xxx. And as she can’t be out after dark for this event you will assume she can’t make it and carry on

stop pandering to her

It depends her reasons for not wanting to be out after dark.

I struggle after a certain time due to public transport.

Perhaps the friend is dropping them both home or they’re sharing a taxi cost.

Or considering you were going out quite early anyway, she could have just already made plans which is why she wanted it early.

If she’s full of contradictions though then I’d just ask her outright.

I've just said to enjoy the theatre tonight but I thought she didn't like being out at night in the dark or is she getting a taxi?

Why is a taxi relevant? If she doesn’t drive, then it makes no odds if she walks, gets the train, bus or gets a cab-is it the dark she doesn’t like rather than the mode of transport?

Not the issue here - but I have always felt Afternoon tea was a bonus snack not a meal… maybe I am just a piggy!

You can't have afternoon tea at lunchtime, that's just wrong.

😂

Yeah, I'd be throwing it straight at her. 'So you and _ can go out at night, then?'.

The only reason people like this are 'awkward' is because others let them get away with it.

You are absolutely in your rights to just say no, you won't be altering plans. 'Sorry, it's booked and the time suits everyone else. Shame it's too late for you two. Maybe next time'.

Don't feed the beast, OP. It just emboldens their entitlement.

Just ignore her and let her miss out

Yes I was also wondering what the relevance of the taxi was and why that would allow her to be out in the dark!

I'll admit it.. .

Agog for the answer to the text

That gives her an out to lie..

But 3pm isn't late at all, and in March it will be a lot brighter in the evening.
Yes, I would have to say something too. Please update if she responds.

I think she has evening plans with the other friend that she Dosen’t want to tell ye about so they are making up stories about not wanting to be out after dark

It sounds deeply annoying. Why blather on about the necessity to only be out in daylight when you clearly pick and choose when this applies. Why not just say, I'm busy later on in the day so can we do afternoon please? Not, I'm terrified of the dark, but miraculously recover when it suits me.
Some people are just like that. I'd try and avoid that person if possible. Maybe next trip will be to a nightclub? lol.

When you stop entertaining these people they stop with their inflexible nonsense. Also, they had probably already booked. I’d be more sympathetic in your shoes if she was simply honest. I’ve noticed people like this sometimes need gentle reminders that they may be negatively affecting someone else and they can’t always assume there’s no impact (cough DP).

Ditch them all and have yourself a nice carvery alone

Not sure that’s how it works in this case!

She’s an attention seeking twat.

My husband has a friend like this. God it’s annoying. He has to ensure everything is coordinated around him and changes days and times for no apparent reason other than a power trip, then ends up cancelling anyway. OP, I’d distance myself. This person won’t change.

Update. My awkward friend has replied and totally avoided the issue. She said she doesn't mind going to the theatre in town but not botthered about going for a meal in town as they are usually overpriced. Totally ignoring the fact that I mentioned that she says she doesn't like being out late, wherever it is, yet goes out to the threatre at night. She's only just got in by the way its 10.45 pm!