AIBU - Breaking up with my boyfriend over threadworms

[grimreefer]

I 25F had Threadworm last month. Predominately I WFH, and have very little contact (and no recent) with children unless there is a family event. I currently live at home and no one under the same roof has had threadworm.

I’m in a very new relationship. I told my 32M boyfriend that I had Threadworm, and he would have to go to a pharmacy and pick up the tablets just incase but he refused and said that was embarrasing. I felt slightly disgusted by his comment, and pointed out that he’s the only person I have been in contact with apart from my family (who don’t have/or had it) and he could’ve easily been the person who passed it on.

He got VERY defensive when I said he could have been the person who passed it on. For context, my boyfriend lives in a pigsty, his house is always cold and mouldy with plenty of mess lying around. He showers daily but doesn’t use any products like shower gel but he also doesn’t smell bad either. Overall, I wouldn’t say hygiene is his strong point.

I see him most weekends but put my foot down last week that I won’t be going to his house anymore unless he sorts it out because it’s disrespectful to expect someone to stay overnight let alone visit. When I had an apartment (landlord sold in January), I would scrub it before anyone came over and always made sure a candle was lit.

Before anyone nags, we’re only together a month-ish (6 weeks) officially but I’m seeing new sides to him every week that I don’t particularly like or enjoy so I have decided to end our relationship today. When I had my apartment we only met there and he would always shower and use products I had (I could smell them). The reason I noticed he didn’t have/use any products was because I went for a shower and there was nothing there to wash myself or hair with, and he confirmed he just uses “good old water” to rinse.

The Threadworm incident really bothered me. I felt disgusting because of his comments but I also feel he was the reason why I had it to begin with. He doesn’t have the best hygiene but he’s also around younger child more than me (nieces and nephews who visit his parents). He didn’t care if we had sex while I was finishing the course of tablets for it (we didn’t), and initially he refused to medicate until I told him I wouldn’t see him until he did saying it was “an organic part of life”.

AIBU? I’m not accusing him of giving me threadworm but it’s highly likely considering one else around me has/had it recently, and my family wouldn’t lie as we live under the same roof so everyone had to medicate regardless. The threadworm incident is my final straw. It’s valentines week and he hasn’t even bothered to clean his house up!!

you don't like this man very much and he can't manage to care for himself in a normal adult way, so not at all unreasonable

He might be a nice person deep down but he’s not a keeper, OP. You don’t want to be battling with him and nagging him over basic stuff like keeping clean. Onward to the next!

This has got to be a joke?

Yuck.

Well you are accusing him of giving you threadworms. You seem to dislike him and the way he is messy, why are you even with him?

So he's a new boyfriend, dirty, lives in a pigsty, has given you threadworms and clearly isn't going to get himself treatment and… What is that you're worrying about?

Threadworm eggs can survive for 2 weeks outside the body and could have been on anything you touched!

It's mostly kids that spread them due to their fondness of bum scratching! Unless your boyfriend is also fond of a good bum scratch??

So it's a but far fetched to say you got them from your BFs house.

He sounds a bit 🤢 to be honest. A lack of personal hygiene would be such a turn off!

Run and don’t look back!

Another woman with horrifically low standards.

I wouldn’t break up with someone over threadworms but if they refused to take the meds and clean their home I would. Sounds like you’ve made the right decision.

Run op. Usually in the early days people are showing their very best side. If this is his best run for the hills.
He sounds incredible immature you'd never be able to rely on him on an emergency or at all if he couldn't even care about your health.

This. You have no evidence whatsoever that he gave you threadworm. You even admit to seeing other people other than him and presumably you’ve left the house too…

But for everything else, he sounds disgusting. You’re only 6 weeks in and you’re already learning you’re not compatible. So end it.

You're only 6 weeks in, this is supposed to be the honeymoon period! Run.

Cor! What a gem. I can see why you fancy him 😂

Just the pigsty thing would be a deal breaker for me. Imagine having to clean up after him!

But the no soap thing? URGH.

The refusal to medicate for worms?

ARGH!

Bin. Be sure to list the reasons too. By text, obviosuly. Then block and delete.

I’m not accusing him of giving me threadworm but it’s highly likely considering one else around me has/had it recently

Well, you are accusing him 😂

as has been pointed out, you could have picked them up from anywhere. It doesn't have to be person to person.

However, I really don't understand why you are with him!

Everyone I did say I’m ending the relationship today! I don’t fancy him, so yes, ending our relationship - the right thing to do!

We were seeing each other exclusive for a couple of months, everything was sunshine and rainbows but since we became official it has gone down hill. I feel I was tricked honestly.

Yes it does sound like I’m accusing him but it makes sense, he loves a bum scratch, I’ve witnessed it too many times and wanted to gag

Hand washing and nail scrubbing plays a big part in getting them gone for good. As does a hot bedding wash. Anyone can pick up threadworms, but poor hygiene can cause you to become infected.

You’ve only been together a few weeks and you’re already arguing about the most basic of things like hygiene and cleanliness. Dump him ffs.

Yuk dump. If only because his house is disgusting and he doenst use soap.

What an unpleasant comment. She doesn't have low standards, she's dumping him isn't she?

I'd say your standards are fairly low to be passing such generalised, nasty judgement.

You're ending it. You don't even like him. Stop giving this any more head space.

How weird and gross. It must have come from him/ his dirty house. If he refused to buy the medication from a pharmacy for his own safety then he's just a wrong un.
If you get serious he will probably make you clean his hovel of a flat. Or live with bloody worms for the rest of your life. What even are they? I know ringworm (not a worm, like athlete's foot) as my cat had it but never encountered this one.

They're little worms in the lower digestive system. Poor hygiene and frequent touch points can spread the eggs that then mature in the digestive system. Treatment is OTC tablets to be taken 2 weeks apart to kill any new ones from eggs in the digestive system. Signs tend to be itchiness around the anus at night when the worms are more active. They may also be seen in stools as little thin white worms.
They're fairly common at the primary school stage of life and the whole household needs treating to avoid passing from one to the other.

The BF is a fool for resisting the treatment because whether he was the source or not, OP could infect him and they'd get stuck in a cycle.

At least OP's realised this one is not a keeper nice and early and hasn't got into a more complicated stage. Life's too short to train grown men in basic life skills.

Doesn't really matter who gave who what. What matters is that you disapprove of his lifestyle and he is not willing to change. That's enough of a reason to break off the relationship.