To be embarrassed about my childish eating behaviour?

[Butterflysize]

I’ve started to really notice lately that my behaviour around food looks quite childish, greedy, both.

Some examples:

• out with DCs and other mums, if we go to a cafe they usually have a coffee and maybe something like a toasted teacake if any food, regardless of what the children are eating. I will have more similar to the kids, maybe a burger, milkshake etc
• Out with other family members recently at a nice restaurant for dinner, I had cleared my plate when they were at best halfway through then was sitting there twiddling my thumbs and picking at bread for ages
• same occasion, I asked for more bread twice
• I bought a box of crème eggs yesterday for the kids and have now eaten three of them

I am starting to feel people noting it and judging. I think I’ve always been like this and my parents are quite embarrassing to eat out with and show zero self control. I’m starting to feel ashamed and that I don’t fit in with other mums.

AIBU to think that my behaviour is not normal and need to do something about this? If so, any advice?

To note I am a healthy weight.

None of that sounds very weird to me op, I think you’re overthinking tbh.

I don't understand what about that is abnormal.

I've just eaten some Dairy Milk and I'm partial to Pom Bears. I don't care if it's childish. Nor should you.

I think maybe if you’re noticing that you eat much faster than everyone else you could slow it down a bit. I’m the same and have to consciously slow down when I go out to eat with others!

With ordering a burger/milkshake etc I wouldn’t think anything of it - I’d probably just assume you hadn’t had lunch yet and the people ordering coffee/cake had.

Another person who thinks you are over thinking. I wouldn’t have a clue how quick someone else ate and wouldn’t remember what they ordered unless it looked amazing and I got food envy!

There is nothing abnormal about what or how you eat.

Definitely over thinking. I hate feeling obliged to have a tiny teacake when my heart wants a bowl of cheesy chips. I think we all worry too much about what people think and I am conscious that I have a healthy appetite - we just don't pretend to be delicate flowers is all.

I agree with others. I don’t think the way you act around food or what you choose to eat sounds childish or weird at all. I think it’s perfectly natural and understandable.

What do you think is making you feel like this? Do you often find yourself comparing yourself to others and comparing your food preferences and orders (when you’re in restaurants etc), to the point where it’s stopping you from enjoying the food you’ve chosen?

There's nothing terrifically abnormal about what you describe.

You like what you like. If you want to consciously slow down while eating, that's one thing, but the only person thinking about this is probably you!

Your only unreasonableness is eating ANY quantity of cream eggs. They are awful, revolting hideous things 🤢

The first and last point are nothing.

You possibly need to make an effort to slow down your eating though and maybe cut back in bread, it is a bit strange to eat your meal and then go back to picking on bread, bread is usually before the meal.

I actually do think it's weird to go for coffee and cake (elevenses or after school I'm assuming) and have an actual meal. It must make having a chat a bit more awkward.

Eating so quickly in a communal setting is also a bit strange. Do you actually converse with the people you're having dinner with? Or just scarf everything on you plate and ignore everyone else?

Creme eggs? I can do a box in a sitting, nothing wrong with three in one go at all.

It's absolutely fine, don't change yourself to conform to some abstract notion of being a grown up. Be who you are and enjoy what you eat and how you eat it. No one will ever pay anywhere near as much attention to you as you do.

Nope, you're fine OP. Well within the bounds of normality. There is nothing childish about eating perfectly normal foods that lots of other adults eat.

Just carry on being you. People are far too busy worrying about themselves to have a strong opinion on what you're eating. At the very most, someone might look over and think "wow she's got a big appetite" and literally a second later will be thinking about something else.
I've just had a bag of wotsits for my lunch.

Order whatever you want when you’re out with other mums as long as you’re happy and enjoy it! If it’s making you unhappy, or you feel rubbish afterwards then switch to just having the milkshake or whatever and don’t order the burger if the other mums are all just having a coffee. It really doesn’t matter though; you can have what you want.

The only thing you really should change is the speed you’re eating. Dinner out is a social event first then dinner second really, otherwise you would eat at home. You’re meant to be social. Everyone else is half way through their meal as they are taking their time and being social and enjoying other’s company whilst it sounds like you’re just eating through your food really quickly. Slow down.

Nothing wrong with you or your eating habits and you're overthinking!
I'm the opposite as I eat slowly and feel self conscious about that but no one else cares
It's good to enjoy eating with others

Totally overthinking, sounding a bit paranoid to be honest

Theres no such thing as childrens food for example, thats something we have invented, food is just food

Eat what you like, when you like as fast or slow as you like UNLESS its giving you health problems.

If not, carry on

I can only advise on the Creme Egg situation. A 3 pack is technically a snack, so you're good there

And this is why people like OP feel the way they do. Bread can be eaten at any time! Who are you, the bread police? I use bread to mop up the sauces/salad dressing after my dinner. So what.

OP continue to eat how you want. Life's too short for worrying about this nonsense. You're a healthy weight!

I think it’s fine and there are all sorts of things people like to eat and different speeds.

I'm envious of you. Three creme eggs, how wonderful

I'm a fast eater. I've really noticed this since my DN coming to stay with me, who's considerably slower than me.

No one is noticing this or cares (in the nicest possible way!)

I think you should do whatever you want to.

I do however, if I'm completely honest, think I would notice an adult having a milkshake. I can't really say why snd it honestly shouldn't matter a jot but as you mention it, there is something more classy / "grown up" about some foods / ways of eating then others.

That's not to say anyone should alter what they do, because at the end of the day it shouldn't matter.

You're a healthy weight - that's great. But I still think it's important for adults to try to eat healthily for the most part, and to model healthy eating patterns to their kids. So there's absolutely nothing wrong with a burger and milkshake as a meal as a treat, but not everyday. Same with three creme eggs. And a healthy weight isn't the only thing to keep an eye on - you can still be a healthy weight and have unhealthy blood sugar/cholesterol levels, etc. so keep an eye on them too.

Reaching my late 50s seems to have resulted in me not caring so much what folk think, I used to worry about it horribly in my previous decades. I try to eat mostly healthily, do lots exercise, but have a love of food that kids like, and eat super quick. My friends just find it funny. Unless you are giving yourself raging indigestion and spraying your food over everyone while you eat, I wouldn't worry :)