Was it unreasonable to take the table

[user17382]

Out with Dm today and my young DC's. There is a particular cafe that we really like and hadn't visited for a while. Went in and there were not tables so we said we would do some more shopping and then come back to see if any were free. Went back about 30 mins later and we see a table of 4. So we went straight to it and sat down/took coats off etc and went up to order.

At this point we realised a couple at the counter were complaining about us to the waitress. Apparently they had been about to sit at our table and as it was the last one available in there they now had nowhere to sit. Staff were very good and moved things around to get them some chairs but they spent the whole time in there tutting and giving us dirty looks.

My logic is that when going in to somewhere busy we always find a table first and then order. If we waited in line with the kids and then went to find a table and couldn't get one we would be stuck as the kids are too young to take the food or drink as takeout. But then I did feel really uncomfortable and that maybe we did something wrong.

If they were a couple, one of them should have sat at the table whilst the other went up

Probably to insecure to not be at each other's side 24/7

Absolutely this.
Utterly ridiculous to get food first and then wander round waiting for a table
MN always says yabu blah blah but in the real world people find a table, settle DC in highchairs etc and then take everones orders and ONE person goes up.

Can you imagine if Op, DM and DC all went to the counter ?
No

I think it’s helpful if the cafe has signs. Some places expect you to find a table first, others to wait until you have food. I don’t think it is standardised.

Table then food - ALWAYS. Maybe it's a Yorkshire thing because I often see people saying it's rude, but everyone I know does this.

I've never in 50 odd years been in a cafe or restaurant where you go up and then find a table ?

Can you imagine groups of 2 parents 2-3 DC wandering around
Multiply that by 5 and you have potentially 25 people in the middle getting in the way, dodging hot food and drinks plus coats, bags, prams

I often eat alone in a cafe. It’s really maddening when you about to take food you’ve paid for to a table to find it has been ‘saved’ by friend of someone further back in queue. Really bad manners.

And if you dine alone??

Always get a table first

• when you're meeting someone from coffee and you see a seat you take it. Then you say hi and then decide what you want and then one person goes up and gets both coffees or whatever or one then the other.

If I'm out shopping I can't manage tray of hot drink and cake and all my bags. Or even forbid I do the mn no no and hen the dog with me as well.

The only exception is local Starbucks where there's not much seating downstairs but you get the drinks downstairs so... don't tend to go there on my own for this reason

Always table first, I don't care if that's unreasonable. I am not standing around with kids and a tray of food and drinks and nowhere to sit. Each to their own, they could have also done that.

@lifebeginsaftercoffee

coat/bag/whatever has a wee rest while waiting for me to come back.

Leave coat , bags on the chair and go up
It's not difficult

I saw this alot at Disneyworld over Xmas. Loads of families standing together in queues (and so clogging up the queue), then they wander around trying to find a table.
Why on earth wouldn't one adult find a table, with a child or two, get them settled, while the other adult grabs food?
Makes no sense at all.
More fool them.

YADNBU. Both groups - you and the couple - were multiples. Why taf, didn’t one person from the couple sit at the table and the other order? I’ve never seen anyone do anything different in that situation.

If I saw an empty table I’d sit at it because I’d assume the people queuing at the counter had companions seated ready at a table. You can’t walk into a cafe, mentally chooses table you like/is empty and then expect it to be magically still empty when you’ve queued, chosen and paid. Surely the idea is you see if there’s a free table, install somebody on it and then the other(s) go and get the food and drinks?

You'd leave your bag on the chair? You obviously live in a different area to me.

Ive had this happen to me recently, went into a coffee shop and there was one empty table, I was the only person at the counter. A couple came in and took the table - where did the think I was going to sit?

It was obvious I was ordering a the counter and it was obvious it was the only table available - fortunately I hadn't paid I cancelled the order and left.

I would have put something on the table and then told them it’s taken.

I wouldn't bother with the cruditees

what do you suggest I put on the table?

I wasn't going to leave my handbag on the table - I needed that to pay for the food, Ive not got a coat on.

if its like mcdonalds they give you a number to sit with

I’m torn, I remember once standing in McDonald’s heavily pregnant with a tray and nowhere to sit because all the tables had been taken by people who didn’t have their food yet.

I was taught that you don’t sit down until you have your food in places like McDonald’s and Costa, and it is somewhat bad mannered to reserve a table while others wait with their food getting cold.

If it's a busy cafe I'd always get a table first and then order. Then there's no chance of being left with no table like this couple.

If on my own, I'd put a jumper, coat or bag there. I think this is pretty normal so an odd thing to be annoyed about..!

You were in the wrong.

Nothing worse than queuing for your food order, and seeing some CFs come in and grab the last vacant table before they have even ordered.

I might do it if there are plenty of free tables - more tables than there are people in the queue - but not otherwise.

But you are in effect queue jumping!

It means the people who have arrived before you and are ordering food may end up with nowhere to sit if everyone did what you do!

You might get a table but the people who arrived before you won't!

You can't declare she was in the wrong full stop 😂 a lot of people as this thread illustrates, see it as common sense to prepare yourself before leaving yourself in a position of nowhere to sit

It's nothing to do with Yorkshire.

It's bad manners.

Many cafes have signs saying only take a table once you have got your food from the counter.

For obvious reasons.

Customers can end up standing with a tray of food and all the cheeky so and so's have grabbed all the tables.

But given people seem to want everyone to join the queue how do you even start to gauge how many tables may be needed? 20 people could be 20 individuals or it could be 5 families.

if people ensure they have a table before ordering food it is much easier to gauge how busy the place is.