Was it unreasonable to take the table

[user17382]

Out with Dm today and my young DC's. There is a particular cafe that we really like and hadn't visited for a while. Went in and there were not tables so we said we would do some more shopping and then come back to see if any were free. Went back about 30 mins later and we see a table of 4. So we went straight to it and sat down/took coats off etc and went up to order.

At this point we realised a couple at the counter were complaining about us to the waitress. Apparently they had been about to sit at our table and as it was the last one available in there they now had nowhere to sit. Staff were very good and moved things around to get them some chairs but they spent the whole time in there tutting and giving us dirty looks.

My logic is that when going in to somewhere busy we always find a table first and then order. If we waited in line with the kids and then went to find a table and couldn't get one we would be stuck as the kids are too young to take the food or drink as takeout. But then I did feel really uncomfortable and that maybe we did something wrong.

While I'm here, my husband and I are taking our three granddaughters to a similar place later, those advocating food before table maybe couid explain how we can do that seamlessly, and actually after reading this thread I think we'll take them to KFC instead🤣

*As I an on my own, if the place is full, I order food. Then I just ask to join another table if there are 3 people sitting there, or i go to an empty table with bags etc. I will move if asked but I will have half my food eaten by the time the table 'bagsiers' have returned.

If people say 'our friend is coming'. Eg 2 don't want to let me share a 4 seater table, I just sit down and offer to move when the friend comes. 9 times out of 10 the friend does NOT come...*

These are the actions of one lone wolf. You could not do this if you were trailing 3 kids and granny for example.

Like OP you'd get the table first.

Since there was 2 of them one should have got a table one should have ordered. That’s just what you do surely. I wouldn’t stand in a queue and order if I didn’t have a table.

It seems the queue first people expect everyone else around them to either be psychic or automatically know what’s going on inside their heads whereas the sensible table first comes make their intentions crystal clear by their proactive actions.

Not at all. They have no right to take up an entire table that's bigger than the number of places they need. Having to share a table is something that you need to accept sometimes needs to happen. It's only unreasonable if someone does that when there are other empty tables available.

I'm with you OP we always make sure we have a table before ordering food you did nothing wrong, there were two of them one should have stayed at the table while the other ordered. X

What if one of them couldn't carry the food/drinks for them both? What if it's someone on their own?

No it is rude. There is no reason why anyone should have to share a table with a stranger in a cafe if they don’t want to. Going to a cafe is not essential so “having to share a table” just isn’t a thing.

Obviously you get a table first.

But all this talk of 'trailing Granny'. She's an adult woman with autonomy!

It's only not essential if you don't need to eat. Oh wait, diabetes exists, some people can't just skip a meal. And before you say "take sandwiches", there ate places that won't let you in with your own food, like music festivals and theme parks.

@Muchof right. It’s sooo rude.
My two friends and I don’t go out often, but when we do, we take a table for 4, as there are 3 of us. (Never any tables for 3 anywhere) and we have a chat, catch up, maybe a cry if we need to offload about xyz. For that duration it’s our space, our table. Why on earth would you plonk yourself down with strangers. It’s not about having rights, it’s just polite not to invade others space @user1471554720

They could sit at the table until it’s time to collect the drinks. Or god forbid, maybe the person paying makes two trips 😱 if alone, leave your coat on the chair and scarf/book on the table to make it clear you’re coming right back. It’s really not that hard! And if the cafe is that busy there’s hoards of people milking about to claim tables maybe try somewhere else :) why is everyone making it seem so difficult?!

@Peaceandquietandacuppa it’s literally the easiest thing ever! So many coming up with problems. Just get a table. Put your coat down, tell the next table you’ll be back in 2 mins etc if you’re on your own. It’s not something I’ve ever thought about. Bonkers

Well I haven’t eaten out in years. But in the olden days, a family always found the table first. Sat the children with coats and bags while the adult went and got food.

Even as a couple, if the place was busy, we’d find a table and then one of us would queue for food.

If I were alone and after buying food there were no tables, I would ask for take out.

If the place was busy, it makes zero sense to me for a couple to queue together then desperately look for a table afterwards.

Bore off with your whataboutery. 🙄

One of you sit at the table to secure it and the other person goes to order the food

Diabetic coma is no fucking joke.

You can't not feed kids either.

I think the reason why tables run out is because there are lots of people who want to eat there. It's not an issue in a place without a queue.

I genuinely think the most sensible thing to do is bag your table before you queue. That way, people looking for somewhere to eat know whether they're going to be able to sit down before they've got their food, because either all the tables are taken or they aren't.

I've never not got a table at IKEA or the Sainsbury's cafe when ordering first and then taking my tray to the nearest available table. Everywhere else has either been table service, they've not done food that you need to sit for, or they've not done gluten-free. Where are you all going that has so few tables, is self-service, and does sit-down food?

I haven’t made a joke? But I am not going to start answering what could be endless “what about” posts, especially when there is a very easy and obvious answer. As in, eat somewhere else if all the tables are taken in one establishment. Really not hard and kids won’t starve because a cafe is busy.

Every coffee shop in my town 💁

Everyone bags their table first. It's never been an issue.

I suspect that the kind of venues you describe fail the "have you got anything gluten-free?" test by offering sandwiches, toasted sandwiches, soup and a roll, and variations on a theme of cake, and will say "I think the crisps are gluten-free? Sorry..." or hold up the vomit-inducing hell that is a Mrs Crimble puketastic coconut concoction that's been gathering dust for six months ahead of this moment and do the "see, we have something, did I do well?" grin that makes me think of a puppy doing it's first "sit" trick.

I suspect that the reason I've never had a problem getting food and then a table is because I've spent my entire adult life either unable to afford to eat in such a place or unable medically to do so.

When I see a queue, I go elsewhere immediately because I'm not queuing for ten minutes to ask the gluten question and then be told "no, we don't". Whereas I can ask that question immediately at a "we seat you" place.

@VitoCorleoneOfMNMafia most cafes I’ve been into do some kind of decent gluten free option now, so may just be an issue with where you live

Not particularly relevant to whether you should get a table first or not, though.

They usually have some uninspiring-looking rice-flour and cocoa slabs wrapped in industrial plastic in a basket in front of the till for the gf market. I prefer the places where you're seated by the waitress but there are only three of them and sometimes they're packed out...

Always find a table first, sit one of the group down on the table, another orders the food.