Was it unreasonable to take the table

[user17382]

Out with Dm today and my young DC's. There is a particular cafe that we really like and hadn't visited for a while. Went in and there were not tables so we said we would do some more shopping and then come back to see if any were free. Went back about 30 mins later and we see a table of 4. So we went straight to it and sat down/took coats off etc and went up to order.

At this point we realised a couple at the counter were complaining about us to the waitress. Apparently they had been about to sit at our table and as it was the last one available in there they now had nowhere to sit. Staff were very good and moved things around to get them some chairs but they spent the whole time in there tutting and giving us dirty looks.

My logic is that when going in to somewhere busy we always find a table first and then order. If we waited in line with the kids and then went to find a table and couldn't get one we would be stuck as the kids are too young to take the food or drink as takeout. But then I did feel really uncomfortable and that maybe we did something wrong.

To a certain extent you are right, but you also need to take table occupancy time into account.

Any particular party's table occupancy time is either just the time it takes to eat their food (If they order first) or the time it takes to order and eat (if they bag a table first).
In principle a slower throughput leads to fewer places being available and contributes to the problem.

To some extent this is mitigated by potential customers seeing it's busy and choosing to go elsewhere or do without, but there isn't always somewhere suitable to go if indeed there is somewhere else at all.

This is why I think it's selfish to bag a table first out of habit rather than need.

Table first, especially if it's busy. As it was a couple one of them should have sat at the table.
I wouldn't order food and then just hope there's still a free table.

I love the table threads. 😁 On MN people talk about occupancy rates, protocols and time taken to order food. We have many people insisting that they would never take a table before picking up their tray, even if it means that their 5 children, granny and dog queue up with them.
In real life people find a table, either leave someone sitting at it or if alone they bags a seat with a coat, book etc, then go and get their food.

We would do exactly the same, usually in this scenario my husband would take the kids to the table and get settled and I would get everyone's order and go and get the food and pay then join them. Like you say last thing you want is to get it all and find no tables left. If they were a couple, there would have been nothing to stop them sending one person to the table prior to your arrival to reserve it if it bothered them that much, especially if there was only one left, this is what we would have done even prior to children being a factor in our lives.

If the cafe doesn't seat you then it's every man for himself.

Always get a table first unless there are loads of free ones.
It’s madness to buy food before you have sorted where you are going to sit.
The other couple had no common sense.

You can maths it up all you like. The bottom line is that the only way that the number of people with food won’t exceed the number of tables available is if everyone secures a table first.

Of course there’ll be times when the people wanting to sit and eat exceeds the capacity of the cafe. There may well be no other local options. But that’s just life! The only difference with the ‘get a table first’ approach is that this unfortunate situation comes to light before you’re standing there with a tray! And that’s got to be better?!

I’m clearly in the minority I would always get a table then order. Even if I’m on my own I will leave a coat there or whatever. Doesn’t make sense the other way around to me.

Why would anyone go to such a busy cafe, order food without first ensuring you have a table?? Then you’re going to be left standing with a tray of food and nowhere to go?? I would always ensure I had a table to eat at first. YANBU

You're not in the minority. The other thread with a poll showed 70% get a table first. There's just a very vocal minority on this thread who seem quite determined to make others bend to their will.

I work in a pub and we place reserved signs on tables and still people sit down on the table that they didn't reserve. I've left glasses on a table and come back and found people sitting there - they said oh we thought someone had left the glasses here - yes me and my drink that I've half finished....I only went to the loo

There are a couple of places I do go locally where its table service and its so much easier. When abroad its much more table service in France, Spain and Portugal which makes travelling solo so much easier for eating and drinking in cafes and restaurants

I never leave my coat as have stuff stolen while not looking.

YABU. People who have qued and paid for food get the table first. Not everyone can get a table before quing if people are on their own for example. Your way there could be a whole cafe of people with tables and no food and a whole que of people with food and nowhere to sit.

Always table first. Always. Unless there is a sign, which there hardly ever is.

Just imagining going somewhere rammed busy like Tenby in the summer, and getting food without knowing there is a table for us. Madness

Agreed. Table service is just soooo much easier. Most cafe service in this country is just an awful mish-mash of standing around, not quite knowing what the protocol is in this particular set-up, hanging around for hot sandwiches, trying to be heard over the insanely loud coffee machine and generally losing the will to live.

Read the thread! All these points have been addressed. Repeatedly.

Put your coat on your chair, leave any inexpensive item on the table. I go place alone all the time. There’s ways to ‘reserve’ a table without being with other people

That only works if you have a large group of people. What are single people supposed to do?

pick out places with table service, its easier, as someone comes to you after you've sat down, nicer as no-one else takes your table (unless you use the loo) and relax.....

YANBU

Apparently they had been about to sit at our table

The road to hell is paved with good intentions. They were not sitting at the table so it was fair game. They should have left one person at the table whilst the other queued up to order.

They should be annoyed at their lack of common sense rather than you.

One garden centre near me has reserved blocks to put on the table before you go and queue

In our favourite place they ask "where do you sit" when ordering food, so their expectation is clear, table first.

It doesn't make sense to order food without having somewhere to sit with it.

Yes, it lowers the throughput a bit, and if some place decided to optimise for that an organise the table assignment when ordering, I would happily accept it, but no way I would join the queue with 2 tables left and hope it will wait for me.

Honestly this thread has made my head spin. It’s a very simple action to leave a coat, a few items, put cutlery down etc and yet some are talking like they’re writing a thesis for their degree on cafe etiquette.

Surrey anyone with half an ounce of common sense grabs a table before they sort their food out? I can’t begin to fathom why anyone would do it any other way

If you're on your own you leave a coat on a chair to reserve your table.

What are people in big groups supposed to do - all stand in the queue until the food is in hand? No, most people sit down and then one or two people go up to order.

The anxiety of waiting in line for food without already claiming a table 🥶

You did nothing wrong.

Table first. Makes things easier for everyone. If I’m on my own I might put my coat/book there. There’s no point in buying food and being unable to sit and eat it!