Family Court Judges ignoring abuse

[BluntDeer]

I can't even begin to express the frustration and heartbreak I'm experiencing due to the unjust treatment I'm facing within the family court system. My child is 20 months old, and have been going through a custody battle for the last year. Father has multiple arrests on record, due to his behaviour around me and our child. Lives with a family member who is in active addiction, an alcoholic. His parents have stalked me, and helped him carry on his abuse on me.

It's truly devastating to see my precious child being sent to an environment that I know is not only unsafe but also filled with constant danger. Although a few months of contact centre were first ordered, the judge has now granted him 2 days a week.

The evidence I've presented clearly shows the prior abuse the father subjected me to while pregnant, and the unsafe conditions my child's father exposes them to. It's incredibly distressing to witness the court's disregard for my concerns, as if they're turning a blind eye to the well-being of my baby. My barrister has mentioned the father’s behaviour multiple times, which the judge completely ignored. The living conditions my child's father subjects them to, surrounded by drug addicts and alcoholics, is a constant source of worry and fear for me. I feel like I'm fighting an uphill battle, desperately trying to protect my child from harm. I feel like women, and domestic abuse survivors have absolutely no rights in this country. Even if they do manage to escape an abusive relationship, they still have to hand their child to an abuser multiple times a week, or be threatened with change of custody by the judge.

The family courts are not fit for purpose for da victims. Down the line there are going to be some severely damaged people who were handed to abusers by the court and whose mother's were told they were lying when all they were doing is protecting their child from harm.

I knew a woman who walked in on her partner molesting their daughter and he still got custody rights

She basically went into hiding as there was 'no way in hell' she'd let him near her child again

Yes pp are right that social services cannot overrule a court order but they can still become involved if there is concerns about a child's welfare for example living conditions provided by the father. Op I would contact social services and make a referral, social services don't tend to get involved in contact issues by the courts as such but definitely with the child's welfare concerns.

Social work recommendations should influence family court decisions. Suggest you ask sw to issue a report which you can submit to court

She's already got a court order. So either it's an interim order in which case either social services or cafcass will already have been asked to provide a report, or it's a final order in which case no further reports can be submitted. Asking for a further report is pointless unless she's planning to submit a new application with new evidence.

I assumed no sw input. Could she not get a sw report and seek to vary interim order?

Stop victim blaming

It's recognised that abuse often doesn't start until pregnancy. Women don't have a crystal bal.

What an unnecessarily mean post to an OP who is distressed for her child. Abuse isn't always apparent before pregnancy and even if it is, it isn't easy to leave. Your attitude is ignorant.

Completely horrifying but not surprising.

As a family court advocate I've now seen two occasions where convicted pedophiles are given unsupervised access to their children.

WandaWonder · would just like to point out that you’re entirely wrong.

Parents don’t have rights, they have responsibilities. Only the child has rights.

you’re welcome.

How is this even possible? Boggles my mind that a judge would rule that a convicted pedophile would have access to a potential victim? We protect other children from them but not their own children? It's absolutely vile why we allow men who have proved themselves dangerous to have unsupervised access, the rights of fathers overrule common sense and a just outcome.

Not like that, no.
any application like this would either have cafcass or social work involvement and they would have already submitted a report. If the report is considered inaccurate the OP would have had the chance to provide evidence in court. If the order has been finalised the OP could make a new application if she has new evidence but not just on the basis that she's not happy with the outcome. She can appeal the judgement. Nobody can just contact social services and ask for a report for court.
The sad fact is that in this case the judge has seen a report and made a decision based on that. Whether that's the right decision or not is a different matter but when a judge has made an order there isn't much that can be done.

Until a few of the children grow up and seek financial compensation for being forced to see their abusers this will continue.

The threat of compensation is the only thing that will cause change.

But I guess the damage and mental distress caused may make it hard for victims to fight through the court system for justice.

And this is why women stay with abusers as there is a good chance if they leave their abusive ex will have unsupervised access with the child. Family court is a disgrace and doesn't give a crap about the children, only men's rights.

Children have rights, not the parents. :)

I did this and nearly lost the children for "not supporting contact". Someone else anonymously did the same via NSPCC, for which I was given the blame and again, got reprimanded for not supporting contact.

I then ended up stuck in a ridiculous cycle of court saying I would lose the children if I didn't support contact and social services saying I would lose the children if I did send them to contact.

There was a woman on woman's hour a few weeks ago talking about this.
She had split from her partner and he had contact with their daughters. She became worried and the daughters told her that their father was sexually abusing them, they reported this to the police. The father claimed this was parental alienation on the part of the mother, and the court ruled that the mother lose custody and the daughters were to live with their father. It was only because another child (not a relative) came forward with allegations against the father that this didn't happen, and he was then convicted and sent to prison.
When he came out, she had to go to court again and again to keep him away from the youngest child, despite the fact she was one of his victims (I think the oldest was an adult by this point).
It was just an awful story.

@daffodilandtulip I am so sorry to hear this happened to you. It's just ridiculous and must have been incredibly hard and upsetting for you. What happened in the end, if you don't mind sharing?

@SewingBees we were in and out of court for 5 years. As soon as it ended, he gave up fighting for DD as she was the one kicking off about contact. DS still followed the court order until covid, then ex stopped bothering for almost two years, using furlough as the reason. DS has started going back recently for just the odd afternoon a month, which I can see has impacted his behaviour but DS wants to see him (I think because there's no other males in his life). DD is an adult now.

I suggest getting in touch with
https://childlawadvice.org.uk/

e.g.
Is it possible apply for a variation in the Child's Arrangement Order & ask for contact to be supervised?

I know of 2 women who have lost custody when they left because of reported sa by the fathers. They were both accused of alienation. Courts sacked ss, won't let the children have therapy nor believe their allegations and the women have to tell there children how great the dads are in order to have contact. It's beyond a joke.

This! I'm in a miserable relationship with a pedophile and can't leave. I called NSPCC when I found out he was watching child abuse images (newborns, toddlers, all the way up to teens) when I was very heavily pregnant. He was set free after they didn't find anything on his phone (he had deleted everything). I was told he could apply for custody and the only thing I could say against it was that he has an addiction to regular pornography.
He reoffended a few months ago, I called ss, case is now closed again.

They "reassured" me that if he was a pedophile, they'll find out in 10 years time. How will they find out in 10 years? After how much damage?

Did cafcass do a report?

I live in NI, we do not have cafcas here, although a children’s officer will be attending soon to do an assessment of both homes.

Definitely highlight the dv evidence during the assessment. But after what I've learned from my own story, I also won't put too much hope on overturning the court order.
Doesn't matter which way it goes, please please try to protect you and your child. Alarms/recording devices during handovers might be needed.
I was a bit careless with just one handover, and I ended up in A&E. All my previous reports said mother doesn't want to stop the contract between child and father, but worried about her safety during the handovers. There were previous arrests as well. The court didn't care.
Look after yourselves.