Let's boycott flowers this Valentine's day

[sharptoothlemonshark]

Why are we still indulging in this outdated misogynistic behaviour of men giving women flowers and women accepting them?

The industry is rotten to the core, with women in Africa getting their lungs burnt out by pesticides so women in Western Europe can look at something useless but "pretty" ( - if you consider the forced, unnaturally bred genetically mutated exaggerations "pretty").

The environmental damage done by transporting them from country to country is immeasurable, never mind the sacrifice of land that could be used to grow food and lower food prices.

And how is it people who object to pesticides being used to grow food are ok with soil being smothered in the stuff to grow flowers? It all enters the same water course.

And what a waste of money it is! Surely your partners could use the money or something more personal and thoughtful?

YABU - I like receiving forced, genetically mutilated, unnatural instruments of environmental damage and disabling of women.

YANBU - lets inform our partners these are not acceptable Valentine's day gifts.

Because they're beautiful, and for centuries, also because they were understood to have medical benefits. The same technology brings you a lot of the fruit you eat, too.

hence why I only buy second hand tech.. but that is a complete different question. The issue here is that the whole industry is utterly pointless - people are undergoing suffering and disability for no reason at all - flowers are not necessary for modern life- IT is

I think you have a point about roses from Africa, but it's somewhat diluted by the dislike of pretty things. There are some brilliant organic, British growers who we can support instead. We get ours from a local family, all organic, not doing any harm at all.

As Miley says I can buy my own flowers, and often do. I buy them as gifts too, and plant them in my garden. I’ve bought them for DH on occasion!

I prefer not to get them on Valentine’s Day because they tend to be twice the price and disappointing quality.

I’m not sure I buy your weird philosophy though. All the florists I personally know are women. Valentine’s Day is the day that can make or break a year. So on that alone- your take on feminism falls down.

I love flowers but never want them for Mother’s Day, valentines etc as they hike up the prices and usually don’t last that long!
DP once bought me a lovely rose bush for the garden for valentines

For you @sharptoothlemonshark 💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐

Plenty of ethical, fair trade or British-grown flowers available. Problem solved.

And yes, I do like flowers because they’re ‘pretty’, which is why I have a flowering garden instead of a concrete exercise yard. Sneering at anything ‘pretty’ and saying it’s ‘shallow’ to enjoy them is not feminism.

DP’s late father and my own dad were both gardeners and both loved/love flowers. When DP’s dad died, the flowers were absolutely the most important decision we had to make about the funeral because we knew he’d have appreciated them so much. Is that OK, or is it only ‘shallow’ to care about flowers if you’re a woman?

"because they are beautiful" is not a reason to destroy the planet and ruin people's health and lives - and anyway, "beautiful" is subjective. I think they are ugly.

Fruit is food. Food is a necessity. Food is in short supply in many places and very expensive in others. Less land given to growing flowers would mean more land available for food!

That doesn't answer the question. Where were they grown? How many pesticides and other chemicals sprayed on ( it all ends up in the water course) how were they transported? by use of fossil fuels for sure! And what conditions were the workers in?

Their website states they only buy from ethical suppliers and there is a statement about their approach to sustainability.
They are a small, family run florist and I'm happy to support them.

For the OP think you need cheering up lol

What is my "take on feminism"? I don't like seeing poor women left disabled to provide pointless, temporary useless luxury items for rich women? Yes it fills me with shame to see. Nothing to do with feminism though, just basic humanity.

You asked why roses had been bred for centuries. I told you, because they are beautiful. That's the answer. It doesn't change just because you don't happen to like roses, nor because there is now a horrible exploitative industry attached to the growing and importing of flowers. I agree with you that that industry is awful; that's why I and others buy British-grown flowers.

see, completely harmless picture, if you want to give someone something pretty, there are ways to do it without damaging the environment, or hurting people. I will be able to look at this picture next week too and the week after, when any valentine's day flowers will be brown and drooping

Some excellent points raised by the OP about industrial flower production.

I love receiving flowers however so surely the way forward is to advocate for, and buy from, UK grown flowers where health and safety laws are stringent? Laws around pesticide use are also much more strict.

It's good to make people aware OP but there are possibly ways of addressing issues which do not alienate your audience?

I don't imagine this will be a problem for you OP.

well, that is great, please check what they mean by "Ethical"! but even from that statement alone, you can see it is obvious that many sources in this industry are not at all ethical, and you can see from this thread that many people are not aware of that.

Hopefully more people will be now

@sharptoothlemonshark so because YOU think something is ugly the rest of us should also think the same?

My mums favourite flower was the daffodil. She died 16 years ago. During this time of year I fill my house with daffodils as they remind me of her. No, they don't last but they bring me joy for a short amount of time.

If you want to raise awareness for issues within the flower industry, fair play. You've not gone about it well.

Maybe point people towards ethical and local flower shops rather than insinuating those of us that like flowers (whether we buy them for ourselves or get bought them, whether for Valentine's or not) 'lack depth'.

well, that is great, please check what they mean by "Ethical"!

I'm not stupid. Please stop talking to me like I am.

I don't like cut flowers any time of year. Such a waste. I'd rather a potted plant, or a native flowering seedling that can become planted on when big enough.

IMO valentine's day is a load of money making shite, along with Easter, Xmas, Halloween. Designed to maximize landfill and minimize cash flow. BUT, I also think the world is fast becoming joyless, so there is a balance to be made. We can't leech every but of fun out of life.

well if you think I am too blunt, please do go ahead and make your own thread! I will read with interest.

Whatever you say on Mumsnet you will always get a load of aggressive responses, it doesn't matter what you say or how you say it.

It doesn't really matter though, because for every aggressive poster, there are likely to be 30-50 posters that read and take in what you say, even if they don't respond

If a couple of people have had their eyes opened to the evil behind much of the flower trade from reading this thread, job done, as far as I am concerned. Most people are completely unaware of the issues

My husband and I don’t do Valentine’s Day, haven’t done for years as we think it’s a commercial money making exercise

I think you perhaps have a point about the way flowers are grown

However the way you have come across is not doing yourself any favours, there is nothing wrong with being shown appreciation from someone who loves you

You sound very bitter, so I’m voting YABU but not for the reason you have given.

There are nothing wrong with enjoying aesthetically pleasing items

Interflora, sending your love via genetic mutation for decades....

There's not much point in frothing on here unless you are also contacting supermarkets and garages etc with the same point. If I couldn't get my tulips from Sainsbury's et al then I would make do with my own garden flowers. Consumers can't buy what's not in the shops.

If someone loves flowers, it’s not thoughtless to buy them flowers.

I’m a woman and I buy flowers for my mum, sister, mother-in-law and friends because they like them and consider them a nice cheering treat. I occasionally buy them for my dad (but less frequently because he lives in a care home and can’t always look after them very well. Why does it suddenly become misogynistic and shallow when my DP buys them for me, just because he’s a man?

How about jewellery and perfume, is he allowed to buy me those? I got both those things for Christmas. Are they misogynistic too? Is the only acceptable gift in your eyes the complete works of Germaine Greer and a tub of Swarfega?