Let's boycott flowers this Valentine's day

[sharptoothlemonshark]

Why are we still indulging in this outdated misogynistic behaviour of men giving women flowers and women accepting them?

The industry is rotten to the core, with women in Africa getting their lungs burnt out by pesticides so women in Western Europe can look at something useless but "pretty" ( - if you consider the forced, unnaturally bred genetically mutated exaggerations "pretty").

The environmental damage done by transporting them from country to country is immeasurable, never mind the sacrifice of land that could be used to grow food and lower food prices.

And how is it people who object to pesticides being used to grow food are ok with soil being smothered in the stuff to grow flowers? It all enters the same water course.

And what a waste of money it is! Surely your partners could use the money or something more personal and thoughtful?

YABU - I like receiving forced, genetically mutilated, unnatural instruments of environmental damage and disabling of women.

YANBU - lets inform our partners these are not acceptable Valentine's day gifts.

Honestly it's for opening posts like this one that MNHQ needs to give us an "ODFOD" button next to the "Thanks" button 🙄

OP, I am finding your thread content interesting and thought provoking. But your delivery is quite offputting, and like many people, I hate being lectured to, rather than educated and informed.

I have not read the full thread, but which African countries in particular are affected?

I can buy myself flowers 💐….
he can also buy me flowers if he likes. It is insulting to men to think that every gift of flowers, is transactional. Well, for the record, I receive flowers 💐 with no expectation to put out.

You do you.

I like ‘pretty’ whether that’s in flower form or something else. I’m not really a fan of cut flowers wherever they happen to be from but I love a ‘pretty’ cottage garden.

I think your reasons re work conditions are valid but you lost me with the mysogynistic stuff and that women are dumb enough to be so easily turned with trinkets.

I also agree with others that your delivery is very offputting and takes away from your valid points.

I don’t do Valentine’s Day because I don’t believe in forced romance. However I will now be buying myself some flowers (locally grown) purely because it will piss you off (okay, and because they’re pretty).

Kenya and Zimbabwe plus Columbia.

Works for me. My husband knows I love daffodils, gladioli nothing expensive but pretty fresh flowers.

I don't feel less powerful as a woman for my husband thoughtfully picking up a bunch of daffodils he knows will make me smile.

Dunno flowers and a curry and he's getting the shag of his life.

Tbh, that's just any day we are together though 🤣

You’re not wrong about the flower industry but I wish women would stop telling me:

I shouldn’t like flowers;
I shouldn’t wear makeup or want to feel like I look good;
I shouldn’t enjoy cooking;
I shouldn’t want to spend a bit longer than my maternity leave with my baby.

My DH loves flowers too. We have locally grown daffodils here at the moment. Then freesias, tulips, gladioli, peonies, irises, roses through the year.

All buying decisions have a negative impact somewhere. Where do our defunct electronics end up? Solar panels ditto? Electric car batteries are environmentally unsound from mining the lithium to not being able to recycle the worn out ones.

Is it better or worse than an Anne Summers outfit?

I don't like receiving flowers. It betrays a complete lack of imagination in present buying and it isn't environmentally friendly to have cut flowers. I really don't like it when people send them to new mums to say congratulations on the new baby - for goodness sake buy something useful!

Have a plant, or enjoy them in your garden or local park.

I know the above makes me weird

Op, we don’t do flowers often. I’ve never been well educated on how they are grown. Honestly, I never really thought about it.

I am off to look for more information to see if your claims are credible and if I should make adjustments going forward.

just a tip, I think you might have gotten more engagement from people if you had started with a place of education instead of animosity. People get defensive when yelled at. If like me, they know nothing about the flower industry, then how are they going to know about the implications of their choices.

Well you sound like a joy.

Accident black-spots also come in handy.

Whew… luckily I got my telling off for the day. I was worried that I’d miss my daily “You are being a woman wrong” and “You’re killing the planet” and “You are causing wholesale genocide to X population “ lectures.

Thank you @sharptoothlemonshark for putting them into one handy thread for me! 👍

Dh doesn't buy me flowers on valentines, because I think they are too expensive. A bunch at other times is fine. Just a card, we both do.

Do you think that every present needs to be useful? Like here is a frying pan for Christmas?

A dog rose sapling is a good alternative. Good for insects and wildlife too.

Hi OP, great thread raising important points. Can I ask how you approach churches about this subject please and what links / resources you use? Also, are Fairtrade flowers still a thing and how do they compare ethically?

How is it misogynistic??? I like flowers they are pretty so my husband buys them for me… because they’re a nice present that I like.

Also not all flowers are grown abroad. Our local florist grows a lot of her flowers in her garden, English country garden vibe bouquets they’re lovely.

Unclench - it's a bit of fun 🙄

Yep, like cage eggs and blood diamonds

Agree! I always find this sort of response sounds rather bitter / jealous. DH buys me flowers from time to time for no reason. He also cooks more than me and does all the washing up, hoovers etc and is generally a great person.

I can (and do) buy myself flowers. I have a vase of British tulips on my living room window sill. They cheer me and make me happy.