"Bimbo" - apparently I sound like one at work?

[Stressedgiraffe]

I've been thinking about this all week.
Dh overheard me talking to my manager (whole other thread) and when I finished announced that I sound like a 'Bimbo' .
Apparently I'm too friendly and laugh too much? So now I'm really doubting all my interactions at work.
I have a senior position and spend most of my days on teams. Is everyone else thinking that? What can I do about it?
How do I be less 'bimboish' or is dh just being a nob?

@Whiskeyvelvet what a load of crap. I'm a smiley, friendly female manager and I work with a lot of smiley, friendly male managers manners. We work in an office, not a prison.

Friendly and smiley doesn't mean no boundaries or professional. It is a natural disposition for many people.

Either way, I wouldn't be taking advice from an unemployed person who has been fired several times because of their demeanour.

OP, why are you waiting? You know he's never going to improve? The kids no doubt see it too.

I’ve worked with people who can put themselves across in… not a great way.

You hear them chatting to family and friends and they are just totally normal, then they go back to their work persona of being a giggly vapid school girl.

I know everyone is saying your husband is a knob but really… is there truth it in? Do you have a work persona of being bubbly and giggle and “girly” instead of just professional and being yourself?

As long as you get along with the team and are productive then that's the priority @Stressedgiraffe

He is a definite knob and you deserve better. Free yourself and be happy.

Yep, knob. I’d reply “and you, dear, sound like a wanker”.

OP, your husband sounds like a heavy weight to carry. Apart from dog-walking, does he bring anything else of value to the lives of you and your family? If the answer is no, I would be planning an effective escape route, to fit in with your children's life plan.

My view is somewhere in between. Women do themselves no favours at work by being "over smiley". I even have seen it suggested that a half smile is preferable. Look at male managers - they aren't grinning away. I'm probably going to get flamed for this. I agree this is not right or fair but I think it reflects reality.

What utter nonsense.
I'm naturally a very smiley, happy person. I know for a fact this has been an asset to my career not a hindrance.
My DH is the same and I can name other male managers who are naturally smiley, happy people.

Tell him he sounds like a cunt.

Wow! Your H is living in another century .

Your DH sounds very insecure and projecting. I'm sorry this has knocked your confidence. What qualifications does he have to give you advice about role and industry?

So a man who can’t hold down a job due to attitude problems is giving unsolicited advice to a person who seems more than capable of staying employed and advancing to a senior role?

Unfortunately she has written that she is going to inflict this misogynist parasite on her kids until they move out. 🥴No happy home for them.

Surely this depends on your industry? If you want to do well in the service industry you have to be smiley, even as a male manager. I’m in the arts and believe me when I say that the people who are smiley, friendly, chatty are definitely those that get commissioned and hired for jobs. We all avoid square, aggressive, diffuse people. Life is too short for that nonsense.

you sound like a “bimbo” yet your in a senior position so obviously you know your stuff. Don’t change yourself, it’s obviously gotten you far and will continue to do so!

He's an idiot and he's insecure about you for some reason.

He's deliberately trying to insult you. He can have no idea what's appropriate at your work, because cultures are different - but as you are doing well, he's clearly wrong.

So turn your attention to him - what's going on there?

Given the fact the OP describes herself as a senior manager and says she's just been handed two big projects, meanwhile her husband isn't working - let's assume she's doing fine at work shall we? You might want to check that internalized misogyny.

@Whiskeyvelvet ☝you too

Sounds jealous and like he's trying to control how you interact. He is being a knob.

You're successful at work, his opinion doesn't count. Don't doubt yourself.

@Stressedgiraffe sorry to read you are married to a massive bellend.

He'd benefit from watching legally blonde.

Ensure he gets a job before you leave him or you may have to support him financially if you divorce.

I think he'd benefit from a Centipede in his pyjama pockets, personally.

Not a nice thing to say to you.
Maybe jealous of you talking to other people or you doing well in your job/happy. May feel threatened or low about themselves.
Don't change yourself.
Need to have a chat with him making it clear you don't want to be called that again.

Ah well, given this info, he clearly doesn't know what he's talking about or how to behave, so I'd ignore him.

Are you ok? 💐

He is not working because of his health before your imagination completely runs away!

Why subject your children to three more years of learning how to leech off your wife ?
They need better role models. Or at least the removal of the crap one.