"Bimbo" - apparently I sound like one at work?

[Stressedgiraffe]

I've been thinking about this all week.
Dh overheard me talking to my manager (whole other thread) and when I finished announced that I sound like a 'Bimbo' .
Apparently I'm too friendly and laugh too much? So now I'm really doubting all my interactions at work.
I have a senior position and spend most of my days on teams. Is everyone else thinking that? What can I do about it?
How do I be less 'bimboish' or is dh just being a nob?

Does your husband have any redeeming features that would make his outdated insult seem less horrifying?

I'm being handed over a couple of important projects at the moment and surely they wouldn't so that if I was incapable.
He doesn't work but when he did he always came across as abrasive and argumentative.

A bimbo would be giggly and breathy, and be constantly putting themselves down as being "sooooo scatty - what am I like!". Friendly and chatty isn't enough to peg someone as a bimbo (which is a horrible thing to call anyone who isn't on Love Island).

Is this genuinely a one-off or does he try and put you down in other ways?

What redeeming features does your husband have that makes up for this level of contempt for you?!

What a disgusting thing for him to say.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with being friendly and chatty in a work environment and with staff of all levels.

Sounds like he just wanted to knock your confidence.

Your H is a knob, however, I have given advice to women who aren't being taken seriously at work and sadly it has included toning down the girlier aspects of their communication. You can be feminine, friendly and cheerful at work without emulating Tinkerbell.

However, it sounds like you are doing absolutely fine without his advice!

Just curious,do you out earn your husband or have you been recently promoted?

Or us he the main earner who was a stat at home housekeeper & he feels that you are being too independent with your career?

I can't think of any reason for sayng it other than jealousy and waiting to undermine you?

Being friendly and chatty does not influence how well you do your job, only if you’re always chatting and not working but that’s not what you’re saying.

Psychologically, you are much more likely to get and keep a job if you are friendly, a team player, a bit chatty and less good at your job, then someone who is good at their job but a bit odd, doesn’t chat, could be seen as a bit calculated, not part of the team. I learnt this in psychology A Level and it’s stuck with me.

If you want to be taken more seriously, I would focus on still being friendly but maybe not laugh so much? If you’re chatting to your manager, ask something about her weekend/children/dog/whatever and then move on to work. This will make you seem interested and friendly but still focused on work. Depending what your job is, I listen to a lot of podcasts related to my industry and I drop in things that I’ve heard if it’s relevant. If you mention something that goes on to be important, she’ll remember you said it first.

Also, the word bimbo is so awful I didn’t think anyone used it anymore. I think your problem is with your DH not your job.

Fucking hell I haven't heard that word in donkeys years.Hes a dick.

He doesn't work but when he did he always came across as abrasive and argumentative

Well there's your answer. That's how he perceives effective communication, do you want to be like that?
Also the whole use of the word bimbo is sexist, belittling shite.
I wouldn't rethink your work communication, but I'd maybe rethink your relationship.

So he doesn't even work and he's trying to tell you, who is in a senior position and being trusted with big projects, that you sound like a bimbo?

He's trying to make sure you don't get too big for your boots and become more confident as that could lead you to start wondering what on earth you're doing being with him. It's a classic tactic.

Very nasty of him OP. Take no notice. You're obviously doing just fine! Though if he tries to undermine you in other ways I'd be reconsidering the relationship.

He doesn't work! Tell him to f off!

He doesn't work but when he did he always came across as abrasive and argumentative.

Tell us more about this...

When he was working he was constantly being told off for the way he spoke. His attitude that he knew everything and swearing. He moved jobs a lot. He's now not working due to his health.
I'm the only one working so pay for everything so as long as I keep my job I don't see what it has to do with him.

Only the truly thick and misogynistic like your husband assume such things. I can quite easily come across at first glance to such people as being a burbling imbecile due to ADHD and a stammer. However, get me talking specifics on my actual work and the technical, legal or logistical processes or have me provide something or respond in writing/by email and even those people realise that I'm really not. I've even been used as the test for whether somebody is bullshitting because of the way some of the terminally dim assume I can't possibly comprehend what they're talking about - and then how they react when I (politely but pointedly) skewer them.

It's relevant that he doesn't work. Not popular in the workplace, was he? Felt that his 'abilities' weren't seen by his superiors? That 'some woman' got promoted over and above him? Not happy that you're eminently more employable, likeable and competent than he ever was?

He's trying to neg you. Just in case you realise that he's dead weight dragging you down.

Sounds like he's threatened by you and your success.
Not a good quality in a partner.

I have just clocked your username. You have posted about him before I believe. He is perfectly able to work but prefers to potter about at home, walking the dogs and fucking about on his computer, doesn't do any housework at all either.

Do you have DC? It sounds like your life would be much improved by LTB.

He is so insecure isn't he?
I would stick with the job, keep being you since you are wonderful and lose the loser... ill health is no excuse for being obnoxious.

He's jealous.

He can't hold down a job and sees you effectively communicating in your role when he was criticised for not being able to.

He doesn't sound like a nice man or much addition to your life.

I have posted about him before and yes he spends most of his days faffing about with the computer. He does walk the dogs.
Long term when the dcs leave home ill rethink things only 3 or so years.
It's just getting through now

It’s so depressing that this foul man is insulting you and you’re doubting yourself instead of divorcing the prick. He does nothing, serves no purpose, treats you like crap, is actively being a parasite and you’re choosing to waste your one life on this. Would you not rather enjoy life?

Does he perhaps sense you pulling away emotionally and so has stepped up his dickishness?

Keep looking at things logically op:
You work, he doesn't
When he did, he was frequently criticised for his communication style
You are given big projects
You see senior (ie proven repeatedly yourself to get there)

Your husband sounds like an ass in so many ways.

As for yourself. Measure yourself based on your outcomes and achievements, not the views of someone who, putting it bluntly, sounds like one of life's failures. Has he actually achieved anything of note apart from duping an awesome woman into being his wife?

My view is somewhere in between. Women do themselves no favours at work by being "over smiley". I even have seen it suggested that a half smile is preferable. Look at male managers - they aren't grinning away. I'm probably going to get flamed for this. I agree this is not right or fair but I think it reflects reality.
I don't think your husband's style is anything to aspire to either. What you want to project is a professional serious slightly friendly image. This has nothing to do with your competence either.

As for your marriage your husband sounds very unpleasant and unsupportive.