Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to get upset with dh not funny joke

110 replies

mehdismummy · 22/03/2008 09:16

woke up as usual this am. H off work on hols. He gets up too and has tea with us. All of a sudden and i dont know how it came up but he tells me he is taking money from my purse to go out last night. Quite obviously i am angry about this. He does not give me any money from his wages at all. The money we get child tax goes on food and nappies etc.

OP posts:
Pinkchampagne · 24/03/2008 13:12

Yes I guess you're right, MM. I could not have gone to my mum either, but just a thought.

I used to be very much on my own before our separation too. He used to work long hours, and when he was home I would take myself to a different room. He would often be in the lounge watching TV & I would take myself into the kitchen, which was where our pc was.
It really wasn't a huge difference for me company wise when I moved into my own place. It is just nice to have all that stress lifted.

Hope you're ok.

Original poster
mehdismummy · 24/03/2008 13:21

pink are you going on msn today?

OP posts:
OverMyDeadBody · 24/03/2008 13:26

I know the feeling of being totally alone and lonely when in a relationship, believe me, actually being alone without them making your life horrible is positively bliss after putting up with that!

I do know how hard it is, and that is takes time, I spent far too long with an abusive man and just hate seeing other women go through similar, which is why I can't wait for mm to post on here one day saying she's got away and is free and safe .

Original poster
mehdismummy · 24/03/2008 13:29

thanks omdb. I am now taking steps. I just need time away to think without being near him. When i get back there will no more going back. We are going to move and thats it.

OP posts:
Freckle · 24/03/2008 13:36

Just remember that the most dangerous time in a violent relationship is when the victim tries to leave. You must ensure that your dh has no idea of your plans and that he is nowhere near when you actually go.

Once you are away, you will feel so much better and feel safer, both for yourself and your ds.

Wrt deposit on a property, I think I mentioned about the rent deposit scheme run by local authorities. When you are seeing the Safetynet lady on Thursday, ask her about this.

OverMyDeadBody · 24/03/2008 13:49

That's good to hear mm. May you have lots of streangth to get through this.

Freckle is right too about the most violent time, I sustained the worst ever injuries after I told him I was leaving him. What I should have done, in retrospect, was just leave with him having no idea of it.

Freckle · 30/03/2008 09:24

MM, how did it go with the lady from Safety net on Thursday? Are you any closer to being able to leave?

Original poster
mehdismummy · 31/03/2008 20:52

hi freckle . She was great. She is gonna help me apply to councils. She is also gonna help with meet ups. Scared me a bit when she said social services would be informed but not to worry it was just routine.

OP posts:
Freckle · 31/03/2008 21:28

If you go to your mum's, you can immediately apply to her local authority. you should be treated has having priority need if you cite domestic violence and you have ds.

Do go as soon as possible. You need to get away before dh realises what you are planning.

Freckle · 31/03/2008 21:28

If you go to your mum's, you can immediately apply to her local authority. you should be treated has having priority need if you cite domestic violence and you have ds.

Do go as soon as possible. You need to get away before dh realises what you are planning.

Original poster
mehdismummy · 31/03/2008 21:44

my mum wont let me stay with her(long story)

OP posts:
Freckle · 31/03/2008 21:45

I thought you were going for a visit.

Original poster
mehdismummy · 31/03/2008 21:47

i am there now. Can i apply if just visiting. Woman from safety net gonna help me with it too

OP posts:
Freckle · 31/03/2008 21:53

Yes, go down to the local authority tomorrow and submit a homeless application. You will have priority need as you have ds and you can cite domestic violence as the reason for leaving your existing accommodation. LAs have been told by the government that it is not reasonable for someone at risk of domestic violence to be sent back to their home. The LA must not ask you for evidence of domestic violence. Your word should be sufficient, although, once they have accommodated you, they are under a duty to make enquiries. Have you ever reported the dv to the police?

Original poster
mehdismummy · 18/02/2009 21:24

just to let everyone know i left him and lived in refuge for 6 months we now in our own flat and are happy. ds is much much happier SO THANKS TO EVERYONE

OP posts:
differentID · 18/02/2009 21:26

That's fabulous- ~I've often wondered how you have been getting on. Glad to hear that you are both settled.

Original poster
mehdismummy · 18/02/2009 21:28

i am so much happier and made lots of great friends. the support on here is the reason i left in the first place

OP posts:
Original poster
mehdismummy · 18/02/2009 21:28

i am so much happier and made lots of great friends. the support on here is the reason i left in the first place

OP posts:
Original poster
mehdismummy · 18/02/2009 21:28

i am so much happier and made lots of great friends. the support on here is the reason i left in the first place

OP posts:
Original poster
mehdismummy · 18/02/2009 21:28

so happy i said it thrice!

OP posts:
BecauseImWorthIt · 18/02/2009 21:29

I'm very glad to see that things have worked out so well for you.

savoycabbage · 18/02/2009 21:29

It is so wonderful to hear that.

nkf · 18/02/2009 21:30

I'm so glad it's worked out. Onwards and upwards eh?

Original poster
mehdismummy · 18/02/2009 21:30

ds seems not o have suffered from it at all

OP posts:
Original poster
mehdismummy · 18/02/2009 21:31

oh yes definetly

OP posts: