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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Hours issues at work due to childcare

61 replies

SuzieQ2024 · 08/02/2024 08:24

Hello lovely ladies! Have been a Mumsnet lurker for years and really appreciate the common sense and sisterhood of the posts through infertility, new motherhood etc. So here goes my first one!

Basically I have Mon to Thurs childcare at nursery all year. Fridays I have preschool 9-3 in term-time. I've had issues with workplaces saying they are flexible, it will be fine, and then saying it's not fine/complaining. I 100% absolutely understand the importance of having things in writing but they often won't do this, citing not fair on rest of team.

I've started a new job, still on probation. I couldn't have been clearer about my childcare, work in admin, and can always catch up in evening/weekend if needed. Issue is this was verbal, they wouldn't put it in contract. Now they say I have to take leave on Fridays out of term time, won't let me take unpaid leave as this needs to be in blocks, and are extending my probation because of this to see if it suits the business needs of the team. AIBU to think that this is unfair? I understand that they will have clauses to justify such things. Any similar experiences? Thanks in advance and best wishes to all X

OP posts:
Justmadness · 08/02/2024 08:33

What was it you said to them at the start, so what did they agree verbally to? Extending probation suggests that whatever you've been doing doesn't agree with what they thought, and doesn't work for the business.

OneMoreTime23 · 08/02/2024 08:36

Can you work longer days Mon-Thurs and take flexi on a Friday?

What’s actually happening?

Original poster
SuzieQ2024 · 08/02/2024 08:39

Thanks - they said they were happy for me to work on Fridays as I can with the preschool care.

OP posts:
Original poster
SuzieQ2024 · 08/02/2024 08:39

They don't want that, so now working short day on Friday in term and making up time one evening a week and shorter lunches. Thanks

OP posts:
Sk8erboi · 08/02/2024 08:41

If this is the 2nd+ workplace agreeing to it and then saying it doesn't work I'm wondering if you're being completely clear on the arrangements in your availability conversations with them.

Is there no way around this, can the child go to the nursery on the Friday? Is taking leave an issue?

Crunchingleaf · 08/02/2024 08:41

Honestly think the more parents that push back on employers that make verbal agreements and then row back on it the better.

Good quality childcare can be difficult to get and where I live it’s a take anything you can get and try to make it work.

Sorry your going through this OP.

Viviennemary · 08/02/2024 08:46

I see it from both sides. What are your contracted hours? Is this a full-time job? There needs to be give and take here.

MaggieFS · 08/02/2024 08:50

I can't follow what they agreed could be done out of term time on Fridays?

Gizlotsmum · 08/02/2024 08:51

So are they happy in term time but need you to take leave when there is no pre school? Would you be working from home in school holiday time with pre schooler? Or are they saying you need to take leave every Friday?

Antsinmypantsneedtodance · 08/02/2024 08:53

Do they have a flexible working policy? If so is there opportunity to build up some hours in term time.and use flex leave in school holidays? My employer allows this. But i know they are one of the few!

If you're not able to work on Fridays when you have your child in school holidays, it's very reasonable to expect you to take leave of some description. Unpaid leave is probably not appropriate for the odd day.

Are holiday clubs/childminder or friends/relatives/other parent an option? Any opportunity to increase nursery hours?

Original poster
SuzieQ2024 · 08/02/2024 08:57

I hear you Sk8erboi but was crystal clear, like a broken record actually 😉

OP posts:
Original poster
SuzieQ2024 · 08/02/2024 09:01

Thanks all! Idea was out of term I would work a bit from home on Fridays and make up time. Childcare availability v v limited with waiting lists. Issue with using annual leave is don't have enough then!

OP posts:
RatatouillePie · 08/02/2024 09:04

SuzieQ2024 · 08/02/2024 08:39

Thanks - they said they were happy for me to work on Fridays as I can with the preschool care.

It sounds to me like they assumed you had alternative childcare arrangements for school holidays.

YABU to expect them to meet this request. It's a lot of paperwork and effort for the salary team to keep calculating days of unpaid leave, hence they're requesting you take it as holiday.

You either need to find school holiday childcare on a Friday, take holiday on the Friday to cover it (It's only 13 days of your holiday), or perhaps only work Monday to Thursday.

Would it be possibly to condense your working week into 4 days?

Justmadness · 08/02/2024 09:07

How much time are you missing on a Friday? What time do you start/finish?

LIZS · 08/02/2024 09:08

You either need to adjust Fridays to termtime only or find a childminder who will do wrap around care, with pick up from preschool and schools holidays. What is your plan from September if they are starting school?

LolaSmiles · 08/02/2024 09:09

they said they were happy for me to work on Fridays as I can with the preschool care
I'd have taken that to mean they're happy you have childcare 9-3 on term time Fridays and you'll make up the other hours elsewhere in your week, which is them being flexible.

My guess is they would expect you to have some sort childcare during the school holidays, which is reasonable so they're happy to be flexible but they're not ok with you basically taking most Fridays off out of term time and just doing what you can.

Original poster
SuzieQ2024 · 08/02/2024 09:14

Thanks all, sounds like most think they assumed I'd sort something else in holidays. Good to know re unpaid leave annoying paperwork wise. I thought it was a fair suggestion to enable me to have enough annual leave to use when I want, just for a few Fridays but hey ho. Cheers

OP posts:
fitzwilliamdarcy · 08/02/2024 09:14

I'm on the opposite side of this - my workplace has hired 3 people in the last year (we're horribly understaffed) to do a full time job and then it turns out that the person actually wanted to work around the school runs which inevitably means they're working 9.30-2.30 and then maybe an hour between 4-5, and they want all of the school holidays so essentially term-time only. It makes everyone else's life much harder but management just turns a blind eye as as far as they're concerned they've filled the vacancy and they're scared to sack the person and risk a discrimination claim.

I haven't really got any advice but I really agree with you and other PP that these things should be in writing

Mynewnameis · 08/02/2024 09:16

Do they offer parental leave? I think they have to offer it actually.
I would use that for a block of leave for your holidays and then annual leave for the Fridays you need for childcare.
I'm assuming there are increasing options for clubs etc as uour child gets older, so it's a short term problem?

Justmadness · 08/02/2024 09:18

Yeah I'm feeling like your posts feel a bit vague, don't know if that's just me so apologies if it is. But it sounds like they have agreed the shorter working on Fridays but not the missing 13 or however many Fridays a year that they are off school. That's a lot of missing days and exceptionally flexible if they were to allow that.

ZenNudist · 08/02/2024 09:22

For me if they couldn't put it in contract then I wouldn't accept the job so I said YABU as its not unfair if the business wants to check it won't work for them.

I don't think it's unreasonable to expect you to take leave outside of term time.

Depending on the job flexibility on a Friday should be OK but even that can be hard if other people are picking up your slack.

PuttingDownRoots · 08/02/2024 09:25

So there are 13 days a year you have no childcare. You don't mention a partner... but is there one you can share these Fridays with?

Plus when is your child due to start school? You will need to cover all the holidays then... have you got a plan for that?

Original poster
SuzieQ2024 · 08/02/2024 09:28

Just to add the kind of role I have I will always do the hours +, but yeah this is work life eh! Where is that Greek island 😜

OP posts:
Original poster
SuzieQ2024 · 08/02/2024 09:30

Also nobody would ever cover, I would always be on email just FYI thanks

OP posts:
acquiescence · 08/02/2024 09:31

I do as a poster above suggested- I take 2/3 weeks parental year for holidays and use the annual leave that this frees up to take off odd days.