To think the first half of your life is the best part?

[Imissmanchesterrain]

Apologies for sounding so pessimistic, but when I think about the future now, I can’t see many pluses..Dh and I will get older, my parents will pass away, well enjoy watching Dd grow, but then she’ll leave and then what.
Im 45 and up until a few years ago, I never felt this way. The first half of my life was exciting, mainly full of fun and promise, so much to look forward to
Wouldnt life be better lived the other way around, like it gets better and better?

Well its hard to say as I've not finished my life yet. But at 54 if things carry on as they have since I turned 50, this half will be much better.
I had an unhappy childhood. 20s were OK but compromised and restricted by being very poor, so had some fun times, but nothing like the experiences some have at that age. I enjoyed my early 30s, but by late 30s I was juggling job, children and caring for my parents with relationship difficulties.
40s a bit of a blur of more of the same with some traumatic bereavements and health issues in top. It wasn't all bad, don't get me wrong, but very far from living the dream, and nothing like as good as life is now.
I'm healthy, fit as a fiddle, financially comfortable, responsible for no one but myself and surrounded by my DP, adult children, their children and the fabulous friends I've acquired along the way. I love my job where I'm in a senior position with great autonomy and influence and never have to do anything I don't want to. Outside of work, I do as I please, go where I choose, rest when I please. Nothing has been better than this.

I am with PP's on this one.

Yes, your younger years are when you have a load of fun and have lots of new experiences but real-life soon hits and by early 20's I already had a mortgage and took on a second (PT) job to pay for all the fun things I wanted. I was having fun but boy, was I working to pay for it!
Now in our 50's. Are retired, mortgage is but a memory and we have lots of plans to fill the next few decades. Yes our parents are gone (and a sibling) but we are financially secure and our future (baring medical issues) should be as much fun as our younger years but this time we already know what we like (and don't).

Thanks for the Bowie quote @Dapbag I'd never heard that despite being a fan, and I love it. That's exactly how it feels for me.

I'm the same age as you. My health has taken a nose dive, so that worries me. I have the same sadness knowing my parents dying will effect me badly. And I sometimes morbidly ponder if me or DH will die first and hope that whichever one of us is left, will cope OK and have the strength to support the DCs.
That aside, I don't worry that life in general will be bad or that it will be less fun or pleasurable than the first half. I see lots of positives ahead, so I'm still optimistic that life will be what I make it, in terms of how much of a good time I have. Apart from the health issues, I quite like being a middle aged woman.

Flat mood in middle life can have hormonal causes. It can pass when these stop or are treated.

I'm happier now than I've ever been (including even the years I was at uni where I had a total blast).
I was bullied as a kid, so my school years were a nightmare, had that brief interlude of university life, and then I stupidly married an abusive man. I did get away early but then found myself as a single mum, trying to make ends meet.
I managed to keep going though, and now my child is grown and enjoying their life, and I'm in a stable and happy relationship and have (currently at least) a good job that I'm enjoying.
I've got things I can plan and look forward to now and have the money to do whereas a lot of my life has been nothing more except the daily grind drudgery.
It's brilliant!

I do get it OP. About to turn 45 and it's been on my mind a lot. Been having a few physical issues, nothing major but enough to remind me that I'm not young and invincible anymore! And coming to terms with my aging appearance is hard.

But...I look at my parents and their friends in their 70s and they are embracing life! I go away every year with my dad's choir and I have so much fun, average age is 65 and they put most 20 year olds to shame with how well some of them can party!

Not rtft but sure someone else will say that the unhappiest years of your life are meant to be between 38 and 55...and then you get happy again? Perhaps a bit glib but I'm hoping it's true! I think the perimenopause has a lot to answer for too in how we feel. I'm just trying to be grateful for still being here, everything I have in my life and arranging things to look forward to.

I'm with you OP. I find getting old, tired, sick and people dying around you so depressing. I've spent countless nights thinking about how fast time flies, how innocence and youth fades away so quicly and how you suddenly find yourself frail and helpless.

In 40 and look forward with a mixture of fear and excitement. I fear my kids growing and leaving me as I've centered my world around them and have forgotten how to live a life just for me .
I fear having to deal with elderly parents and deaths .
I fear for my own health as due to stress over the past few years I have not looked after myself- I am very overweight and unfit and I know I am heading towards diabetes/strokes/heart attacks .
I'm also in an unhappy marriage and can't face a retirement with my husband.
I have a fantasy in my head of a future of me alone , carefree , independent and living by the sea but that won't happen in reality as I would be penniless . I would also be incredibly lonely . My 30s have been a miserable existence , I would love for my 40s to be different but don't see how

I disagree.

I had a miserable childhood and teenage years and it took me years to try to address and get over the trauma and as a result my 20s were really up and down.

I only really started enjoying life when I was in my mid 30s and slowly became a bit more confident from then on.

I had a lot of good (and some bad) experiences in my 40s and I am now 53 and honestly I enjoy and appreciate life more now than before.

I think it might different for people who had a loving family and enjoyed their youth carefree.

You can't turn back time though so the best thing is to try to enjoy everyday and find pleasure in little things but continue to have some excitement in you life (travel, try a new hobby, cook different food).

I just want to say thanks to all those saying that it gets better.
I'm 51 and life is harder than it has ever been despite some things going ok.

With the shit life I've had I hope it gets better!! Failed suicide attempt years ago and through all the shit since I've always held on to the fact it has to get better but sometimes I wish I'd succeed back then. I'm a mother now so no checking out I have to endure.

turned 57 today. Can honestly say that I am happier now than my years before kids and my years when they grew. I loved raising our kids. I have a great husband. I really am loving the freedom that comes with age, and having enough money to enjoy ourselves. We do not have shit tons of money, but we have enough to live off the interest and live modestly for many years. Our home is paid for. Our COL is very low here.. So I say ENJOY every moment. They are not the same moments , but they are NEW moments and they can really surprise you and give you a new lease on life. Today. I walked the beach with my dogs,, came home and made lunch. Dinner is on husband tonight as it is my birthday and he will either have to take me somewhere or go buy food as this woman is not cooking her own bd dinner lol

I was just starting to really enjoy life when DH was diagnosed with cancer - 10 years on and I’m nearly 45, been widowed over 7 years and am shattered bringing up teens. But I have high hopes, still! Surely the next 10 years can’t be as disasterous?!

'David Bowie said, "Aging is an extraordinary process whereby you become the person you always should have been." and he's right.'

I was trying to think of the exact wording of that quote so THANK YOU for sharing! I love it ☺️

I'm 44 and I am so bloody grateful for so many things. I am so much happier, healthier, fitter and more peaceful than I was at 24. I don't have children and I think that helps my sense of wellbeing enormously, even though it was a long process to make peace with it. Im looking ahead to my 50s and beyond with excitement

I'm sorry for your troubles. Life can deal some very low blows. I think its reasonable for those of us who've hit bottom to be optimistic in a way those who've had a good life might not be. They fear life will only take away from them. Whereas when you're starting from zero you have nothing to lose. And much to gain. I wish you peace until your happiness comes.

That's such a depressing view. So many people don't get to live, just try and enjoy all that life has to offer.

You assume that 45 is the 1st half. That's interesting. What if it isn't? I could say the first half of my life til now wasn't as good as the second half. In the second half I went to uni, became independent, met friends, travelled, had babies. It's been amazing. And I don't know when it will end.

Agree with you OP. I had a crazy amount of fun in my 20s and 30s. The feelings of freedom, novelty and possibility were epic.

Am now 49 and seem to be moving into a new phase of life, as the DCs reach the age where we can go out without a babysitter. It has its plus points, but it can never compare to the younger years, when I had so much energy and enthusiasm.

Hated my forties! Now I'm nearly 60 and enjoying life like I did in my twenties but with more money and bags more confidence. I even look better than in my forties (though not my twenties ha)!

Seize your life!!

To me it comes down to health and income. If you're healthy and reasonably comfortable financially. life is good at any age. And the opposite obviously. My mother is in her 90s,I think she has enjoyed the last 40 years, seeing her grandchildren grow, traveling, friendships, chilling. Also, maybe, not needing big excitement, but enjoying the quiet pleasures of life helps. I'm nearly 60, and think there's lots yet to look forward to.

Surely it depends on what your first half was like & your personality = liking to be taken care of/no responsibility vs needing structure & control) 😒

Most abuse also happens to people who are young or elderly so not necessarily good either way

I’m enjoying the second half of my life more than the first.

I'm loving my 50s! best time of life so far by a long way!

I’m 62 and still feel like I have lots to look forward to.