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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to ask what the "stereotypical 6 figure MN mum" does?

403 replies

TigerJoy · 06/02/2024 14:20

And how can the rest of us get a job like that?!

OP posts:
FKAT · 06/02/2024 17:32

(DH earns 6 figures in marketing - almost every job he's applied for recently has gone to a woman - so there must be some fairly high earning women in marketing....!)

I work in marketing and earned 6 figures as a head of department. 6 figures is not the norm in marketing like it is in banking etc (supply & demand as PP said) but it can be done if you are senior and especially choose a specialist marketing area.

FlabMonsterIsDietingAgain · 06/02/2024 17:33

Cybersecurity, Governance, Risk & Compliance.

No university education, no qualifications past some really bad A-Level results.

Started in a call centre doing telemarketing and worked my way up, self learning along the way from Google, podcasts, online learning modules, books and conferences. Made it clear to every manager that I wanted development and actively sought out shadowing/mentoring opportunities, applied for promotions whenever they became available.

Flottie · 06/02/2024 17:34

Actuary

Get a maths or numerical degree, get a graduate job in the actuarial field, study for exams for 3-5 years and qualify, then look for actuarial manager positions

mummymeister · 06/02/2024 17:34

Property. I own some assured shorthold tenancy and some furnished holiday lets. I also have both a local govt pension and a private pension. I paid a lot into my local govt pension when I worked knowing that I wanted to retire at 60.

HighQueenOfTheFarRealm · 06/02/2024 17:35

Most of my family and friends are professionals and work as
Solicitor
GP
IT specialist
Engineer (in the traditional sense not the appliance type)
Finance in corporate bank
Pharmaceuticals

Although they may be high earners, none of them are on 6 figures.

The only two I know work as a surgeon and another is senior in a big tech firm.

EvelynBeatrice · 06/02/2024 17:39

How can you get a job like that? It's simple. It starts at school. If you're strong academically and have clued up parents, teachers or career advisers, you research the most valued / lucrative degrees and aim for that. Economics is I believe the degree currently most likely to result in high earnings.
You also need the social / cultural capital/knowhow/ confidence to know about career options and think 'I could do that'. Sadly that eliminates a lot of people.
You also need to be able and willing to sacrifice today to benefit tomorrow. There are few students who are able to avoid hours of work every evening and still have a vibrant social life / social media habit / lots of friends and romances who manage to get the grades they need.
Finally, there are many who think degrees like economics, accountancy , law etc are too boring / hard work, so opt for something more fun sounding with no set career path. They will then ultimately be competing with the driven hard headed harder degree students for graduate places. There will also be many who have a vocation to teach or for science, resulting in careers that may result in career satisfaction and persoal fulfilment in many cases, but shamefully poor pay!!

ReinNotReignItIn · 06/02/2024 17:40

ComtesseDeSpair · 06/02/2024 16:20

In terms of “how do you get there” - I think the one, singular most important factor, regardless of the career path you choose, is that, if you are going to have children, making sure you pick the right partner and father and being as sure as you possibly can that he’s going to pull his weight. Take responsibility for your choices and for being ruthless in how you make those choices. If he’s lazy at home and selfish with his time before you have children, he’s not going to change afterwards. If you can’t agree how childcare and taking leave for sick babies is going to work before you’re in the situation where it’s a reality, he’s a non starter. If you barely know him when you have a “whoops” pregnancy, consider whether you can really afford to take that chance. Yes, some men change after children arrive - but far more are very clearly duds from the off but women choose for whatever reason to choose to overlook their faults. Be ruthless. If you’re a mother, a useless man who you can’t rely on to be a proper parent will hold you back in your career.

All the women I know who are both mothers and successful high earners are with men (or divorced from men) who are absolutely equal parents and consider themselves just as responsible for their children as their mothers are, whether that be sick leave, school pick ups, or holding the fort for an entire week whilst their partner / child’s mother is away on a business trip.

Edited

All the women I know who are both mothers and successful high earners are with men (or divorced from men) who are absolutely equal parents and consider themselves just as responsible for their children as their mothers are, whether that be sick leave, school pick ups, or holding the fort for an entire week whilst their partner / child’s mother is away on a business trip.

yep this.

FlabMonsterIsDietingAgain · 06/02/2024 17:40

FlabMonsterIsDietingAgain · 06/02/2024 17:33

Cybersecurity, Governance, Risk & Compliance.

No university education, no qualifications past some really bad A-Level results.

Started in a call centre doing telemarketing and worked my way up, self learning along the way from Google, podcasts, online learning modules, books and conferences. Made it clear to every manager that I wanted development and actively sought out shadowing/mentoring opportunities, applied for promotions whenever they became available.

Oh and went back to work FT when DD was 9 months old.

ElevenSeven · 06/02/2024 17:44

Law, investment banking, finance

ReinNotReignItIn · 06/02/2024 17:45

Mumsanetta · 06/02/2024 17:02

Genuine question - how many times in your career have you had to sleep under your desk because you didn’t have time to go home? How many weekends and nights have you worked? How many times have you had to fly home early from holiday or cancel your holiday because of work demands?

I think the vast majority of people who say they work hard in their jobs do not understand just how hard junior City lawyers work. Yes, they earn a lot once they get to senior positions however the average hard worker wouldn’t have the stamina or the stomach for the effort required to get there.

I know people hate it when high earners talk about working hard. But when I was 23 and working as a house officer in the 90s, those punishing 56 hour shifts I did where I was dealing with life and death decisions daily, is the hardest I have ever worked physically or mentally. Pay and conditions were appalling. I was on my feet nearly all day and had regular cystitis from dehydration as I had no time to drink. Nobody will ever change my view on that. I have mild trauma about those days.

LeopardPJS · 06/02/2024 17:45

I earn that in a creative industry. I have flexible hours and typically work less than 30 hours a week. I can justify a high pay rate now based on my skills and experience. You do have to put in the work early in your career though (which some younger entrants don't seem to understand.) To get to the point where this was possible I worked v hard in a number of challenging roles in my 20s - more than 60 hours a week including nights and weekends and took on a lot of stress.

AHFaemale · 06/02/2024 17:46

Engineer.

Ophy83 · 06/02/2024 17:47

Lawyer practicing in London would standardly earn that. A partner in large or magic circle firm/barrister in commercial law would earn far more.

Bankers/ GPs/ accountants etc earn that. Many GPs only do 2-3 days a week.

Some professions are well above this. Actuaries earn a bomb.

ReinNotReignItIn · 06/02/2024 17:47

Boomer55 · 06/02/2024 17:19

To be honest, I think some of it is net fantasy. People can pretend to be whatever they like.

What is the point? Seriously? What would I gain from pretending to be an NHS consultant here?!

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 06/02/2024 17:48

Unbeknownsty · 06/02/2024 15:11

They take in some ironing.

Steve Harvey Lol GIF by ABC Network

This made me laugh.

Business, worked very long hours for about 20 years, had my kids in my late 30's, won't retire until mid 60's at best.

Alcyoneus · 06/02/2024 17:50

Why is there so much saltiness on this thread about high earning women? Why so much sarcasm? If you think that all high earning women on here are just making it up or are just pretending to work hard, you really lack imagination. Why the need to bring professionally successful women down? It’s quite sad and pathetic. Let’s congratulate them.

Pookerrod · 06/02/2024 17:50

TigerJoy · 06/02/2024 15:10

I know lots of people in careers (as I had) who don't earn anything like £100k

NHS consultant earns £85k

Most architects, solicitors, engineers, don't earn anything like £100k. Academia is a career and terribly paid.

They all worked incredibly hard with long hours too.

Edited

Well it’s location dependant. Every architect, lawyer and engineer I know in here in London earns far in excess of £100k although they are all in the 40’s with well established careers.

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 06/02/2024 17:51

To clarify - this does not mean I worked harder than the average nurse, teacher, NHS consultant in my 20's and 30's. My job is no more worthy than others. It's just more well paid which was the question.

Aintnosupermum · 06/02/2024 17:51

Qualified accountant at Big4, prior was a junior trader at investment bank having worked my way up from settlements to trade support to desk assistant. Learned by befriending interns coming in from top schools over the summer. Got the same books listed on the websites for their courses and studied them intently. When I met a quant trader I decided I needed those skills and went about learning them myself.

Had my children at 31, 32 and 35. My ex husband started work at 17, worked his way up and ran his own business along side his ‘job’ with his employers blessing. He was a sales director at a food company.

I work longer hours than him and make much less. I used to bill 70-75 hours a week, which meant I worked 90-100 hours a week. I specialized in broker dealers, knocked it out of the park, client hired me, promoted to divisional CFO of the technology group (I did all the analysis of data for the broker dealer and clients, those quant skills paid off!) and left to run a risk group at a bigger broker dealer, again my unique mix of quant and financial skills paid off. I’m underpaid compared to my peers and the only reason I’m not trading (and earning 7 figures) is because I have to have my phone on me and I must be able to leave my desk if there is an issue with the children.

Often, not always, people don’t realize the skills, hours and sheer hell that goes into the higher incomes. I went back to work when my son was 8 weeks. I was processing payroll for my ex husbands company while in labour with the eldest child. With my third child, I issued my clients financials on the Thursday before Good Friday, delivered the baby on the Monday morning. It was intense. I can handle it and I see my role as opening the door for more women behind me to have the choice to develop/pursue their career, if that is their goal. I am nearly always the only mother and sadly too often the most senior female in the department/trading floor/company.

unexpectediteminthebraggingarea · 06/02/2024 17:52

ReinNotReignItIn · 06/02/2024 17:45

I know people hate it when high earners talk about working hard. But when I was 23 and working as a house officer in the 90s, those punishing 56 hour shifts I did where I was dealing with life and death decisions daily, is the hardest I have ever worked physically or mentally. Pay and conditions were appalling. I was on my feet nearly all day and had regular cystitis from dehydration as I had no time to drink. Nobody will ever change my view on that. I have mild trauma about those days.

Not quite the same but I have a sort of trauma from the madness of the early months of the pandemic, when we had to upturn everything to find a way to still deliver our job, take on whole crazy new tasks we had never done to help with the public response,.and I had to home school my children whose school didn't get in touch once. It was a career making time for me and I got a substantial promotion as a result, but my goodness I earned it.

(And I was grieving for a close relative who died at the start of the first lockdown too, and I could only attend their funeral on zoom because of the rules)

ReinNotReignItIn · 06/02/2024 17:52

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 06/02/2024 17:51

To clarify - this does not mean I worked harder than the average nurse, teacher, NHS consultant in my 20's and 30's. My job is no more worthy than others. It's just more well paid which was the question.

High earning women should not feel the need to apologise or justify their salary.

Istheregoldattheendoftherainbow · 06/02/2024 17:54

Chartered accountant

Isthisexpected · 06/02/2024 17:54

TigerJoy · 06/02/2024 14:20

And how can the rest of us get a job like that?!

I don't want a job like that! Seeing my kids two days a week? No thanks!

Alcyoneus · 06/02/2024 17:54

A thread about high warming women filling up with women telling us about their ‘DH’. The thread is about women. There is a difference.

BillionaireTea · 06/02/2024 17:54

I went part time for a few years but then came back and now on 150kish
For me it was about getting managerial jobs, with increasingly more reports & increasingly global remit, in consumer or tech companies. Can be boring though and lots of internal politicking.

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