Fed up because DH family don’t follow up on my health

[Mum8929]

I don’t know if I am being unreasonable but I feel like I’ve had a few bad things happen with me health wise the past few months. I developped really bad ezcema on my eyelids which was a pain for a few months and recently I was very ill with a flu and lost my voice entirely and had to take almost two weeks off work. I feel annoyed because DH family never seem to follow up on these when we talk to them. I told them how poorly I was and they even came over to help babysit with DD when I was ill so my FIL saw I had no voice but they never ask how I am doing and I am upset because it’s been almost a month and I’m still ill. DH says I’m too sensitive but it feels like common sense to ask someone when catching up about their ongoing health issues? AIBU?

Don’t we all have health issues on and off all the time? I don’t find it very interesting as a topic.

Of course something serious I’d check in but even then I’d be more likely to offer support than ask every time I see someone.

What would them asking actually achieve? You'd feel more loved? More seen? A little bit more attention?

I had bronchitis and was coughing up blood. I didn't even tell my family. Not to martyr myself but quite frankly I didn't want to worry them and can't stand being asked how I am when I'm unwell. I just want to get on with it and get back to normal.

You sound like you need to work on resilience. Expecting your in laws to have asked about your eyelid eczema is quite funny.

You’ve had eczema on your eyelids, and flu. Those aren’t ’ongoing health problems’. They’re just bog standard ailments that everyone gets sometimes and which most people, including the people who are ill, find very boring to talk about.

I’m sorry if you were under the impression that a dose of winter flu and scabby eyelids would qualify you for months of attention, but you’re sadly mistaken. Your in-laws were good enough to help out with your child, so moaning that they aren’t asking for daily updates on your phlegm production is petty and ungrateful.

If this is the level of interest you expect in your routine case of flu, what do you think you’d deserve for, say, keyhole surgery or broken wrist? A trip to Disney with the Make A Wish Foundation?

Her in-laws came over to a house full of flu to look after her bloody child. She is in no position to feel ‘unloved’ and ‘alone’ because she’s clearly had plenty of support.

Grow up!

I think the thing is some people are love to over share when it comes to their health. Others don't. I wouldn't persist in asking after you as it's personal to you and frankly none of my business. I don't need to know the ins and outs of doctors visits etc, it's not interesting to me.

I had one of my legs chopped off last year and my former mother in law asked me a week later when I thought my DS with autism could come back home as her son (my ex) was ‘finding it hard to occupy him’. I wasn’t even out of HDU at that point 😂

so, overall OP I think you’d inlaws seem ok really.

My SIL has had cancer and I was asked not to talk about it - so I didn't.

I’m Asian and asking after people who have been ill is extremely important. I hate talking on the phone but I always call my MIL when she’s been ill and I check in with my mum daily.

When someone has particularly bad health news, it’s imperative for friends and relatives to visit the patient.

I don’t expect these things for myself as I hate fuss but I do it for my relatives as it’s so ingrained in them.

So I can see why you’re upset, more so if there’s a cultural reason.