Fed up because DH family don’t follow up on my health

[Mum8929]

I don’t know if I am being unreasonable but I feel like I’ve had a few bad things happen with me health wise the past few months. I developped really bad ezcema on my eyelids which was a pain for a few months and recently I was very ill with a flu and lost my voice entirely and had to take almost two weeks off work. I feel annoyed because DH family never seem to follow up on these when we talk to them. I told them how poorly I was and they even came over to help babysit with DD when I was ill so my FIL saw I had no voice but they never ask how I am doing and I am upset because it’s been almost a month and I’m still ill. DH says I’m too sensitive but it feels like common sense to ask someone when catching up about their ongoing health issues? AIBU?

I had major surgery last year and my MIL posted me a card.

I was really upset at the time but am over it now.

Sorry, but YABU. You are a hit under the weather

You had a cold/flu and eczema. Common non life threatening ailments.

I would assume you recovered from them in standard timeliness like mist if the population too.

I'd crack up if I had to keep track of every little hiccup my inlaws have.

John, how is that ingrown toenail of yours?
Mary, has that bruise disappeared yet?
Dave, do you still have toothache, poor pet?
Tom, did your cough disappear?

Give me strength. There's very little wrong with you other than severe self indulgence and importance. Not sure what the cure for that is.

We can't even tell my in-laws if someone in the house has a headcold. My FIL especially turns everything into a catastrophe.

I think you are being unreasonable. If you want them to know you are still sick, tell them. Maybe they assumed you're over it now as it was a month ago. Everyone has been sick recently. It's consuming you, but everyone else has other things going on in their lives.

You are unreasonable to expect them to ask a month later if you're better. If you want to tell them tell them. If you want practical support from them ask for it.

Ffs 😂
Get me a Tattle code and get me over to the dark side. I can't with this anymore.

Sorry, eczema and flu? No-one would check up on those. I thought you had cancer or some other life-limiting illness.

You have 2 relatively minor illnesses and the last they heard you were at home.. why would they check up on you? They have offered you practical help which is much more useful…

Oh come on Op. you have eczema and had the flu.

They provided practical help. But haven’t kept checking on you? Why would you expect them to.

If dbro said sil had flu I would say ‘oh no, hope she recovers soon. does she need anything? Any help with the kids?’

I wouldn’t think to keep asking for weeks how she was. Is there something else going on because this seems really ridiculous tbh.

I don’t check up on family outside of this house if they’ve had a cold or a rash. If I speak to them and it’s obvious they’re still ill I’d notice and say “ You still sound under the weather, are you ok?”

Maybe they didnt ask because they knew you couldnt reply…

What was wrong with that? Isn’t that a nice thing to do?

Yeah that was nice to send a card.

They babysat, that was lovely. It’s weird that you need them to ask. Why does it bother you? Maybe they feel health issues are private? It would be different if you had a really serious illness of course. You sound a bit princessy.

Christ alive. How do some people get through the days?

Exactly this. My mother knows the up to the minute status of everyone in the family’s health because…I don’t know, she likes to know. My MIL recently forgot I was having a csection after not asking how I/baby was a single time during a very high risk pregnancy and being told the date multiple times in advance. Tis what tis.

Your (relatively) minor health issues are only interesting to you. YABU.

Oh come on! No ones interested or cares anout someone else's run of the mill health problems. Sounds like they provided practical support when needed

YABU. Get a grip

Different worlds. I can't imagine sharing my minor ailments with my in-laws in the first place, never mind being bothered that they didn't follow up on it. My health is my business and my business alone, unless someone else needs to know about it.

YABU and weirdly self absorbed.

It was flu ffs. They helped you. What more do you want? Cards? Presents? An ode to your fortitude in the face of overwhelming adversity?

This! I wouldn’t think so ask how someone’s eyelid eczema is, in fact I don’t think I’d mention it in case they were sensitive of how it looked!

This is giving me Mary from Persuasion vibes.

I agree with you. It's not weird to ask. My in laws always ask how I am. I also always ask them how they are when I see them and if I notice they're unwell, I often follow up later to ask if they're better and / or need anything.

If OP was my parents in law or sister / brother in law and weren't able to speak / were suffering from flu- I would absolutely ask them how they are. It's rude and weird not to in my opinion.

Do you really care? Does it make any difference to your life?

Eczema on your eyelids? That's hardly something that needs a get well soon card is it?

I understand you still feel unwell post flu but with real flu (as opposed to a bad cold), that does happen. It's nasty & lingers. It's also an excessively common everyday occurrence.

Do you "follow up" on their health on a regular basis?

My own family don't ask about my health, let alone my in-laws 🤣. It's normal. People don't tend to care too much about eyelids or flu.