Children on Ipads in restaurants

[Somersetlady]

Away in a resort. I am shocked by the number of children on ipads for the entire sitting of a meal. Breakfast lunch and dinner.

Buffet to fine dining.

From todlers upwards.

No social interaction with parents or staff and mindless eating whilst inhaling cartoons.

i understand that parents want a bit of a break but surely this is shockingly bad for the children?

Telling op to 'back off' is pretty bizarre given this is an anonymous forum.

Exactly 50/50 on the poll!

YANBU if you are commenting on the number of children doing this - it does happen too much, some of these kids could be sitting reasonably well behaved and quiet with adult interaction.

YABU to be looking at any individual child and thinking this, there are a multitude of reasons why this might be the right call for an individual family at the time - maybe the kid is neurodivergent, maybe mum and dad have no village and literally the only way they can go on a 'date' is bringing the kids along and they want to talk to each other properly for the first time that month. Maybe the adult with them has their own health issues and has no 'spoons' left and desperately needs half an hour of down time.

But not all of them. Statistically speaking, yes, some of them are just lazy parents.

I’m sure some of them are SEN i very much doubt that they all are of even the majority or the stats would be seriously skewed!

Very educated thank you. Only 45 and well able for smart tech. Try to limit it as outlined above as it massively negatively impacts my ADHD issues.

surprised as how many people on the thread don’t seem to understand the negatives for smart phone use especially when eating.

are you seriously suggesting watching videos/you tube tick tok or whatever are skills that these children need for the future that need to be honed whilst eating out?

apple have gadgets so well designed it literally takes hours from primates to none techy human octogenarians a matter of minutes to pick up how to operate the basics!

I agree @Y6yhnsr5 !

Thanks so much for your reply. Yes you are definitely right, I think I’m still just really angry off the back of a certain video circulating where unfortunately the Councillors in question were of a certain age. It was a very sweeping generalisation of me and I completely agree that much of it is lived experience and nothing to do with age.

I am also really reassured by your comment that there are many people out there that clearly are open minded. If the world was more like this, then I would have no worries for my little boys future!

@Somersetlady So incredibly rude 😆 I think this is really painting a picture of you and I’m not going to lie, it’s not looking great.

I am kinda baffled when I hear people with your kind of opinions talking that we still haven’t moved on. I generally like to think the best of people but I’m just not sure. I mean you’ve definitely missed my point, you are being incredibly judgemental regardless of whether those children are SEN. They are not your children and therefore do not require your opinion.

If you're using screens as a way to get your children to behave or eat their food, you're not actually parenting or teaching your children.

Also would just like to add, I don’t feel like you are able to see any other possibility then what works for you. It’s great that you’ve learned screen time is not good for you. That isn’t the reality for some people though?

For example, some people and children who have extreme anxiety around food then this is the only thing that allows them to relax enough to be able to eat. I don’t claim, like you, to be super educated because to be honest you can’t understand everyone’s experiences.Instead I would prefer to ask the question and remain neutral until I can make an informed decision on something. Some people are better than this than others and from your reply it seems you can only see your own opinion.

The most important thing we can actually teach our children is to be open minded and that is the bigger issue here. Not whether they eat whilst watching a tablet 🤪

There was less understanding around needs when I was growing up which was very challenging and led to many melt downs (very strict household) but for me real life skills that help you fit in are a big help when you go out into the real world. I actually was sitting there initially wondering what the future looks like for all these kids who ignore the staff and are so engrossed.

The world is changing for the better, overall. 30+ years ago, it was a shit time for the atypical! Stuff like autism and ADHD was often thought just to be bad behaviour, as it seems like you experienced first hand.

It's commonly accepted nowadays that masking takes up quite a lot of mental energy, and can lead to mental health issues later down the line.

Encouraging ND children to mask is not conducive to the type of inclusive society that would be most beneficial for everyone.

The amount of people here that are commenting as if eating at an all inclusive hotel restaurant 3 times a day is comparable to a normal day at home. You're on holiday, you're all knackered and looking for down time, if you aren't then maybe you aren't interacting with your children enough during the day 😂🤔

You don't seem to understand that eating in a restaurant does not equate to every meal in the home. You have no clue if these parents allow their child to use a tablet at home at the table.
I don't allow it for my daughter. However if she continues to be non verbal as she grows she will have a tablet or phone always at the table as that will be her means of communication. That's the thing, you simply cannot possibly know these families home situations.

Many people are conscious of disturbing others with their child. I am speaking as a mother to a SEN child, but I can totally understand parents simply using a tablet because they worry their child may disturb others...there's loads of reasonable explanations that don't equate to lazy parenting. So maybe it would be a good idea to not attribute the absolute worst on total strangers.

Well said @AAclubber
Superiority is dripping all over these posts.

I agree OP - it is a sorry state of affairs. Too many (neurotypical) children are just given technology before the meal even arrives. No social interaction. No having to wait and learn patience. Too many adults on screens at dinner too - very rude! I suppose that's why school pupils are the way they are - unable to concentrate, poor vocabulary, not able to follow a story etc etc

Stops them running around & annoying other people.

If your DC goes to a school where all the pupils are unable to concentrate, have poor vocabulary and are not able to follow a story I'd suggest looking to move to another school. It's certainly not my experience of young children.

What sort of school are you sending your children to? It sounds atrocious, is it the area that's a problem?

It does make me wonder what the long term negative side effects are as surely it will just exacerbate the issues in the long term. Too much screen time isn't good for anyone, but surely it would be even worse if you already have problems

It’s very much learnt for me to try and be open minded and ask questions. It’s a work in progress as it doesn’t come naturally.

I have the classic black and white thinking and a very definite line of what is right and wrong and a childlike sense of injustice.

I have studied psychology at masters level but MN is somewhere i feel i can ask the questions about life that don’t always make sense to me especially as the world is developing faster than i feel i can keep up sometimes!

I also answer things very literally on here (in work i actually was taught how to top and tail emails to make them “softer”) and am regularly asked if i genuinely want to know the answer to my question. I do it’s why i ask it. I have taken to writing genuine question if I feel it may be ambiguous.

My own father (who i think has aspergers but never diagnosed) certainly wasn’t open minded in our childhood!

Being ND I’m used to people thinking the picture of me not looking great.

I’ve has some really good help and advice on MN over the years on social and in-law advice because i am aware of my own limitations on seeing whats socially acceptable.

You are exactly the type of person i fear in a workplace. If a ND difference is disclosed you still want to bash me for the aspi traits!

its amazing how sympathy and understanding is called for when it suits.

There is no need to mask or filter my thinking on an anonymous internet forum but many people are not ready to hear those unfiltered views or take them very personally!

whilst i agree this would be a wonderful world to live in it’s simply not realistic🤷‍♀️

If i had not learnt the masking skills i would struggle to get work have struggled even more in school and probably not have a single friend!
Masking socially is the only way I would ever be able to make a friend in the first place…….

Looking at the sheer volume of children and wondering when/if this became the norm for ao many families.

If you have the time or inclination go and have a look at some of the studies on Binge Eating Disorder and autism. In fact disordered eating or any eating disorders and autism.

If food is an issue then mindless eating and disassociating the brain from food whilst it’s eating is unlikely to be a positive for many ND children as they go through life. I do appreciate there are exceptions and that if you have been advised by a medical professional etc etc

But again thats not why i started this thread. It was to ask if screens from start to finish of a meal was considered normal as i only have my own children for reference. Some politely pointed out it was a holiday thing.

" Eat a frozen pizza occasionally"
Is cracking me up so much.

Nothing screams down to earth and fun like an occasional frozen pizza.

If you rtft you will see that i thanked someone for pointing that out very early on!

On an entirely different note but something that also confuses me if people don’t want to be bothered by kids why don’t they go to adult only holidays or restaurants that say no children after x time.

this is not a question specifically directed at you @JennyBeanR just wondering out loud as lots of people say it’s an issue.

Alternatively parents could actually talk to their child?