Page 26 | Children on Ipads in restaurants

Somersetlady · 2024-02-05T08:27:02+00:00

Away in a resort. I am shocked by the number of children on ipads for the entire sitting of a meal. Breakfast lunch and dinner. Buffet to fine dining. From todlers upwards. No social interaction with parents or staff and mindless eating whilst inhaling cartoons. i understand that parents want a bit of a break but surely this is shockingly bad for the children?

theDudesmummy · 06/02/2024 22:57

Oh yes! Sticker books 😃 what a great idea! Goodness. Why didnt i think of that?

Oh wait, i did. A few years ago he just ate the stickers. Then he stuck them all over the furniture (that goes down well in a nice restaurant!). Now he couldn't give a fuck about them because he is a nearly 15-year-old boy. Do your teenage boys keep themselves busy with "sticker books" or do they like YouTube and Insta and video games and WhatsApping their friends? Thought so...

MixedCouple · 06/02/2024 23:15

DonnyBurrito · 06/02/2024 22:55

I grew up in the 90s, too. I hated sitting round the table, sat in close proximity and face to face with other people as they ate. Trying to talk with mouthfuls of food seems ridiculous, or trying to chat while the food went cold... It's a shit time to start a conversation up. Mealtimes is about eating the food, first and foremost.

You can talk to your children and family members at literally any other time of the day, there are so many better opportunities than when your mouth is literally full.

I also don't want my toddler doing activities with his hands at the table, I want him using his utensils to eat his food whilst it's warm and I want him to stay in his chair for the duration and keep the mess in once place.

I tried everything to 'teach' him this for 6 months, but nothing worked and I caved when he was around 1. It was immediately effective and a huge relief. I still use a screen at almost all mealtimes, but my kid can also go long car journeys, enjoying looking out of the window and playing with his toys without a winge. He also can play little make believe games on his own at home, he loves interacting with others when we're out, he makes friends very easily and says please, thankyou and sorry appropriately on a consistent enough basis that his manners are complimented regularly. He's physically and emotionally very robust.

He's mint. Watching Disney+ at meals hasn't changed him into some anti social, rude zombie child, like everyone seems to be so concerned about 😂

Show quote history

I guess subjective. I have fond memories and lots of funny moments sat at the dinner table with my family loved it. Snd we are all super close. Especially when all the family was over. I miss those days. In may cukture food and family is a big thing and talking over meals is a big thing it is a social affair.

I think when it comes to child development I like to look at the science as opposed to antedotal and baised parents opinions. The science is very clear on screen time and neurological development.

My toddler is also very polite at 2 he says thank you for cooking Mama, he has very good manners for his age.
But it is not a competion now.

Just personally for me this is what I believe is best for my child my family and the science backs it. And what others want to do well it's their kids. I just think it is a shame. Thats all I said.

I do have family members who's children grew up infront of screens meal times and after that. And it worked for them as they love to consume media. And they are generally nice kids but I did notice attention span is shorter and everything conversationally revolves around Characters and show and singing. Nothing outside of that. So very 2D.

But for us we like to socialise as a family and take every opportunity to do so. Time away from each we do our own things. Reading, hobbies etc etc. Just how my family works and makes us happy.

I would add if my toddler was not content at meals out of the home I just would avoid taking them out it is that simple for me. Just like if they misbehaved in any public spaces such as hurting other children I would remove them and not go back until I felt they could be in those places and behave.

DonnyBurrito · 06/02/2024 23:34

I would add if my toddler was not content at meals out of the home I just would avoid taking them out it is that simple for me.

What a shame you would restrict your toddler to being inside your home 24/7 just to avoid using a screen for 15 minutes so you could all satisate your hunger properly in-between wholesome, enriching child friendly activities out in the world 😥 I'd never stifle my child like that.

I've read a lot of the studies. I am not convinced. It is incredibly difficult to actually prove the 'science' behind these theories, because children and their parents cannot be observed in a research facility for their entire childhoods. There are too many other factors and variables which effect development.

It is a cultural thing. It's really not biologically necessary to talk with your mouth full at the dinner table. Nice for some, not for others.

I prefer talking to my kid whilst we play. It's much more insightful and interesting, and I'd rather not distract him from his food at meal time.

The point I was making was that your approach makes no difference.

canonlydoblue · 06/02/2024 23:37

Its lazy parenting. Its bad for the children. I hate seeing it.

DonnyBurrito · 06/02/2024 23:39

I do have family members who's children grew up infront of screens meal times and after that. And it worked for them as they love to consume media. And they are generally nice kids but I did notice attention span is shorter and everything conversationally revolves around Characters and show and singing. Nothing outside of that. So very 2D.

I've not had this experience with children who have screen access, at all. Sounds like a different problem to me...

theDudesmummy · 06/02/2024 23:39

@canonlydoblue Oh FFS. "Hate" again? Really? Have you read none of this thread? I thought we had moved past the "hate" speech at the very least. It is seriously offensive. Judge my choices if you really must (but seriously fuck you for doing so), but hating me? Are you sure you want to say that (or to feel that, it sounds an exhausting reaction to something that has no effect on you whatsoever and is life changing for some families).

doilooklikeicare · 06/02/2024 23:42

canonlydoblue · 06/02/2024 23:37

Its lazy parenting. Its bad for the children. I hate seeing it.

Lazy

Bad parenting

Hate

🙄

happyfishcoco · 06/02/2024 23:44

I am shocked about the result of the vote.

and how people think nowadays.

some are kinda saying "I am doing it for you, give iPad to my kids so that they can keep quiet, try not to annoy you" 😂

I wonder how those people lived before the smartphone was invented.

at least when I grew up, children had no screen time but still were not running and screaming in the restaurant.

doilooklikeicare · 06/02/2024 23:45

happyfishcoco · 06/02/2024 23:44

I am shocked about the result of the vote.

and how people think nowadays.

some are kinda saying "I am doing it for you, give iPad to my kids so that they can keep quiet, try not to annoy you" 😂

I wonder how those people lived before the smartphone was invented.

at least when I grew up, children had no screen time but still were not running and screaming in the restaurant.

An I ask....

How old are you?

theDudesmummy · 06/02/2024 23:45

@canonlydoblue live just one day of my life and then come back and tell me I am lazy, why don't you? Or maybe just read my posts and some of the others like @JennyBeanR's

doilooklikeicare · 06/02/2024 23:46

happyfishcoco · 06/02/2024 23:44

I am shocked about the result of the vote.

and how people think nowadays.

some are kinda saying "I am doing it for you, give iPad to my kids so that they can keep quiet, try not to annoy you" 😂

I wonder how those people lived before the smartphone was invented.

at least when I grew up, children had no screen time but still were not running and screaming in the restaurant.

Do you think it's made you a better person?

theDudesmummy · 06/02/2024 23:47

@happyfishcoco I can tell you exactly how my son would have lived his life before smartphones and tablets were invented. Maybe read my posts for further information?

ASimpleLampoon · 06/02/2024 23:53

Maybe lget on with enjoying your own meal with your perfect kids instead of weirdly staring at other people? Get a life!

canonlydoblue · 06/02/2024 23:55

@theDudesmummy

Blimey, that escalated! I've just had a quick look back through the thread to your comments about your child and I'm not talking about children who are obviously ND. I'm talking about the babies with the phones dangled into their pushchairs, the toddlers who have a screen plonked in front of them the minute they sit down, and the older ones who can't possibility engage in the world around them.

happyfishcoco · 06/02/2024 23:57

doilooklikeicare · 06/02/2024 23:46

Do you think it's made you a better person?

Show quote history

at least, if I want to know your age, I will say
"May I ask..." rather than

"An I ask....

How old are you?"

You may get me wrong, but I am not judging people using iPads for parenting.
I am annoyed people suggest this is the only way to keep children behaving themselves. and this is wrong, others pp also have mentioned it

doilooklikeicare · 07/02/2024 00:01

@happyfishcoco would you say

May I ask

Instead of

Can I ask

Because you didn't have screen time?

DonnyBurrito · 07/02/2024 00:02

You may get me wrong, but I am not judging people using iPads for parenting.
I am annoyed people suggest this is the only way to keep children behaving themselves. and this is wrong, others pp also have mentioned it

It's the only way to keep certain children still and undistracted by the exciting environment they're in so they finish their meal. Perhaps in your time, those children would have been dragged home, given a beating and put to bed with no tea... So it's likely you just didn't see them out, because they were busy being punished at home for not 'behaving'. Just a theory.

theDudesmummy · 07/02/2024 00:02

@canonlydoblue what do you mean by "obviously ND"? If you saw my son sitting in a restaurant watching a video and happily eating his meal, as he does, I assure you you would not be able to tell that he is autistic unless you came over and interacted with us. How can you tell who to hate and who not?

doilooklikeicare · 07/02/2024 00:04

@happyfishcoco what does kinda mean, where did you get that word from? I don't really understand it, from someone so exacting of grammar?

What did you actually mean?

happyfishcoco · 07/02/2024 00:05

canonlydoblue · 06/02/2024 23:55

@theDudesmummy

Blimey, that escalated! I've just had a quick look back through the thread to your comments about your child and I'm not talking about children who are obviously ND. I'm talking about the babies with the phones dangled into their pushchairs, the toddlers who have a screen plonked in front of them the minute they sit down, and the older ones who can't possibility engage in the world around them.

exactly!
I saw some parents feed iPad to their 6-month-old. Does a baby really need this?

people always find things offensive and escalated.

WaitingforSpring24 · 07/02/2024 00:06

I think parents who do performance parenting out at mealtimes to be really annoying…
”Oscar, Maddie, yes of course you can have some more asparagus with your hake, what did you say? Can you have some Coca Cola? Darlings that’s literally poison don’t be ridiculous.”

Far more than the parents with kids on their iPads. Unless they have the volume on loud on Paw Patrol, THEN that’s annoying even more annoying.

Usually I’m on the table in between both wishing I’d never gone on holiday! 😂

canonlydoblue · 07/02/2024 00:07

@theDudesmummy

Would it matter if I saw you out? I'm not going to come over and say anything to you. I would think it and we'd both go about our day unaffected. Win win!

theDudesmummy · 07/02/2024 00:08

@happyfishcoco sorry to be a snowflake but I do find it offensive to be called a lazy parent and to be told my child and I are worthy of being hated...

canonlydoblue · 07/02/2024 00:11

@theDudesmummy

No you've misunderstood. My first comment said I hated seeing it, not that I hated the people doing it. I also clarified in my second comment that I wasn't talking about ND individuals.

Katievalentine · 07/02/2024 00:12

I didn't realise how ignorant and small minded people are till I read this post. What business is it of anyone else to judge others. Some.parents are for sure guilty of tablets or phones being babysitters for their kids but not everyone! My son is Autistic and has ADHD and Sensory processing disorder he can't sit for 5mins without moving about or making noises (stimming) because he's excited about his food coming and he cant handle his surroundings from start to finish it takes about 45-60mins for a sit down meal as we are a family of six. So he has his tablet as it keeps him calm and regulated then he's able to eat his food without this he wouldn't eat his food. He he would disrupt us and everyone else by shouting flapping his arms running jumping and it would end up in a meltdown which if you think a meltdown is a temper tantrum then your wrong its a whole other level so would you rather that? Then you would moan about that too! How about you keep your nose out of what others do its non of your business!