Children on Ipads in restaurants

[Somersetlady]

Away in a resort. I am shocked by the number of children on ipads for the entire sitting of a meal. Breakfast lunch and dinner.

Buffet to fine dining.

From todlers upwards.

No social interaction with parents or staff and mindless eating whilst inhaling cartoons.

i understand that parents want a bit of a break but surely this is shockingly bad for the children?

I never said it was and if someone wants their child to have screens then I don’t judge them! Just because I don’t like something or agree with it doesn’t mean I judge people who do. The OP made this thread for opinions and I agree with her - doesn’t mean I think badly of anyone who disagrees.
I dont do those things and that’s fine. Those who do do those things - that’s fine also!
I’m genuinely shocked that just because I disagree with some people, I am now being sworn at (not by you I know)

I’ve not been nasty at all with my original reply. It’s only my opinion and I have no issue whatsoever with those who’s opinions are different to mine.

“Reasons” and “excuses” are not synonymous and you absolutely do need to get a grip.

@periodiclabel you are not sure why people opining that my parenting of my disabled child (and the methods I use to let him access our "normal" lives and pleasures as much as possible) are "lazy", "disgusting" and worthy of "hatred" is upsetting to me? Hmm...maybe think a little harder, I am sure some empathy might come to you...or perhaps not.

@FosterMommy13 you're horrendously judgemental and you need to own that!

If you're not bothered by others, why not just tell OP to mind her own business, instead of describing your hate for something so simple and individual choice.

The people who judge are probably the same people who think you can just parent the adhd out of your child.

@FosterMommy13 "absolutely hate" are strong words for something you now say you "don’t judge". Actually I think I'd rather be judged than hated, in the grand scheme of things...

I apologise for my use of words but I can say for sure that I do not judge parents just because the choices they make are different to mine. I’m sure there are things I do that other parents don’t agree with and that’s fine.
I am sorry for using the word hate, I never meant to cause an issue.

I have a toddler and we bring activities such as colouring, a toy etc. But we dont do devices everyday we dont own a TV. Toddler gets to watch 30mins on my phone on Friday as a treat and we watch together. Usually something educational and not mindless rubbish.

I am happy he gets bored becuase then he finds things and ways to play to entertain himself. We follow a similar style of Montessori but not 100% just what works for our set up at home.

We eat out and travel in a car on 3+ hour trips and it was hard when he was a baby but now he is used to it and we don't ever need phones or ipads. He happily looks out the window at cars and animals etc and when we go out to eat he happily sits and eats when he is done we give him his activities and we engage with him. If he gets bored of being sat down one of us will go for a quick walk about or change up the seating and that works for us.

Each to their own but it is sad to see such a disconnect over a meal. Meal times should be time to sit eat and talks and interact. What do I know I grew up in the 90's.

I have 6 yo & 3 yo and don’t have them on screens when out of the house if we are in a cafe or restaurant which is rare I don’t offer a phone.
however they do watch tv shows whilst eating at home which is a bad habit we have got into when we aren’t eating as family which is most of the time. This post has made me want to try to reduce this even more now I recognise how absurd I am that I wouldn’t do it in public but very much do at home 🫣

As someone who has no children and no interest in children I would far rather they were on screens than disturbing one of my rare evenings out.

@FosterMommy13 well I appreciate the apology. There hasn't been a lot of graciousness in evidence on this thread.

@FosterMommy13 massive backtrack! You hate, people they use all sorts of excuses or reasons!, you can't stand kids being giff cd en iPads or iPhones, all of that directed at others parenting.

You totally judged others!

I absolutely hate people that judge others and then backtrack!

@Pinkchilli People have watched TV while eating since the dawn of the television, don't beat yourself up about it!

@doilooklikeicare Better a backtrack and an apology than some of the entrenched nastiness we have seen here...for me at any rate.

There hasn’t been and personally I’m shocked at the way I’ve seen some people speak to others. I didn’t word my original reply right which is why I have apologised.
Hate was a strong word and the wrong word. Sorry.

That's good of you, but it's only as a result of being massively pulled up on totally outrageous behaviour.

I hate judgemental people, that's my opinion.

Yep, I've made my child non verbal because I'm a shit parent who sticks her on the screen rather than talk to her.
Can this thread get any more low?

Would you rather they were running around, screaming?

I admit we sometimes give our 3 year old his tablet when we go out to eat, although we start off with books and his colouring book and the tablet as a last resort. We don’t give it for our enjoyment we give it so that he doesn’t disturb people on the tables around us. He’s generally good for a 3 year old and will sit quite well through a meal out but he does have a limit.

@doilooklikeicare I like to think this thread has made just one or two people think again about their attitudes, not to the "screens" issue only, but into what it might mean overall to have a disabled, or even just "different", child. Maybe next time you see me and my son, or our many counterparts, out and about, you will think, maybe there is something different going on here from what I assumed?

It has however been dispiriting for the most part, to say the least. The absolute refusal of some people to peer for a moment out of their own life and set of assumptions about others and into someone else's different reality is really sad. But I have very much enjoyed hearing from others who "get it". Keep on lunching!

Because we're human and it's not immediately obvious to people that my daughter has special needs. Because it's hard work and the last thing we need are busy bodies sneering at us when we're enjoying a meal out. Because maybe it's shitty attitudes like the ones displayed in this thread that makes parents of Sen children that much more scared of how the world will treat them. For god's sake, read some of the replies in this thread and put into context what these people are complaining about. It's shameful.

@lolabear1243 ODFOD

This!
Also love the comments about using sticker books
My girl doesn't have the dexterity to use stickers and struggles to hold a pen. She'll go through a board book, but only for a few minutes...she is capable however of completing puzzles on her tablet. She's also started imitating actions she's seen in some Peppa pig videos. This is huge for her and I've been in tears watching her progress. Technology is something that may enable my daughter to be able to communicate and perhaps even live independently one day. So honestly, to all you sneering people who want to think ill of us for the crime of eating in a restaurant with a child using a device, just fuck off. I'm done with justifying myself to you.

@JennyBeanR and @Gloaminggnome ❤

Meals out are generally meant to be a relaxing break for everyone - parents, children, and the other diners around them. Why do you think it's your place to judge how other people achieve that? If your dining companions aren't holding your interest, try a book or (gasp!) getting out your own phone and leave other people to enjoy themselves.

I grew up in the 90s, too. I hated sitting round the table, sat in close proximity and face to face with other people as they ate. Trying to talk with mouthfuls of food seems ridiculous, or trying to chat while the food went cold... It's a shit time to start a conversation up. Mealtimes is about eating the food, first and foremost.

You can talk to your children and family members at literally any other time of the day, there are so many better opportunities than when your mouth is literally full.

I also don't want my toddler doing activities with his hands at the table, I want him using his utensils to eat his food whilst it's warm and I want him to stay in his chair for the duration and keep the mess in once place.

I tried everything to 'teach' him this for 6 months, but nothing worked and I caved when he was around 1. It was immediately effective and a huge relief. I still use a screen at almost all mealtimes, but my kid can also go long car journeys, enjoying looking out of the window and playing with his toys without a winge. He also can play little make believe games on his own at home, he loves interacting with others when we're out, he makes friends very easily and says please, thankyou and sorry appropriately on a consistent enough basis that his manners are complimented regularly. He's physically and emotionally very robust.

He's mint. Watching Disney+ at meals hasn't changed him into some anti social, rude zombie child, like everyone seems to be so concerned about 😂