Children on Ipads in restaurants

[Somersetlady]

Away in a resort. I am shocked by the number of children on ipads for the entire sitting of a meal. Breakfast lunch and dinner.

Buffet to fine dining.

From todlers upwards.

No social interaction with parents or staff and mindless eating whilst inhaling cartoons.

i understand that parents want a bit of a break but surely this is shockingly bad for the children?

So what did all the ADHD children do before iPads at mealtimes? Starve?

It's amazing the amount of people who can just look at a child sitting with headphones on, with a screen and just know instantly if they are autistic or not. It's a gift, offer your services to the NHS, you could be the answer to long waiting lists!!

We used one for DS in certain restaurants/occasions and it was the difference between eating out or staying home. He's grown up to be great company in restaurants and chats away, never looking at his phone.
My other kids aren't autistic and have never needed screens at the dinner table. Imagine if I'd only had them, would I be judging the parents of children using screens? I like to think not, as its not in my nature. Its food for thought though. Its best not to judge other parents, unless you've walked a mile in the shoes of a parent with SEN children.

We used a portable DVD before ipads came out.
Before that, lots of parents with SEN children just didn't eat out much. Would that be better?

Bored children? Books, magazine, colouring, card game, puzzle, activity book, joke book, eye spy, fuzzy felts, connect 4, so much more...! Plus conversation!!!!!!

The previous posters are implying that their DCs wouldn’t eat at all without screens, not just at restaurants.

Why are fuzzy felts/sticker books/colouring any more noble than an iPad (no sound of course). Genuinely interested. Damn those kids playing a lovely game of colouring/word search etc on the iPad, with no chance of accidentally colouring on the table! 😄

I work with autistic children. No one has a screen over lunchtime.

Well we should be glad that life has been made easier for these children with SEN and their parents. Lots of advancements have been made in the treatment of special needs children i.e they aren't locked away in institutions anymore.
Now we just need to get all of the general public on board with the fact that these children are in the community and even on holiday and in restaurants, so not to stare and judge their parents for their parenting. Wouldn't that be nice?

Can you point out the post that says ND children should be locked up and not allowed out?

And then perhaps you could explain whether you believe every child on a screen at a restaurant is ND and not capable of appropriate social interaction during a meal out.

Well of course not and it’s ridiculous to think my comment applied to every single child in the world regardless of need or situation.

What's 'troll hunting' when it's at home?

Less messy/less stuff/easier to just carry an iPad?

I don’t have children, but I personally would far rather see a quiet child sat watching a program or playing an iPad game than screeching, running around or being a general nuisance.

I don’t say this often, but parents can’t win sometimes can they!

Why would I need to point out a post that says ND should be locked up? I didn't suggest that anybody had said that. My point is that times have changed and autistic children are out and about everywhere now, as opposed to being locked away as they were years ago. So parents are using techniques that help them. They aren't for others to judge.

I am speaking from personal experience. Having a SEN child who did use a potable DVD player at times when we were out. Who was in a buggy for a bit longer than other kids and was big for his age. Who had reins on him when he was walking. I've had my fair share of funny, judgey looks.
I also have children who never needed any of those things. If I'd only had them, I too wouldn't have a clue how hurtful it is to see people being so judgemental about parental strategies.
Nobodies saying every child with a screen at the table is ND. But a significant proportion of them will be. So it's best not to judge.

Well yes, that’s entirely my point :)

Height of laziness, also teaching children they cannot cope with not being entertained constantly, not to mention the sheer arseholeness of making every one else listen to the noise pollution from the tablets. It should be banned to listen to things without headphones. I was in the hospital the other day and the bell ends behind me were disturbing the whole waiting room like this.

So what did all the ADHD children do before iPads at mealtimes? Starve?

Why not ask me instead: So what would your non-verbal ASD son have done before the advent of tablets and smartphone and easy-to-use text-to-speech apps? Be non-communicative and bash his head on the floor hundreds of times a day out of frustration because no-one could understand him? Be unable to take part in any conversations or family life? Have no way to chat to us about his favourite topics and express his views?

I'll give you a clue: yes, yes and yes.

Parents have been managing with SN children forever, and they have survived for the most part, but we are allowed to use the latest tech to make our lives and those of our children easier, you know, even if the tech didn't exist in the past.

BTW I absolutely agree about the noise pollution. I would never ever allow my DS to sit in a public place listening to something without headphones. That is a totally separate issue.

My dad and aunties used to talk about how they had to sit still and quiet for am hour a week at mass, no toys, no books, no screens from about age 4. But all the children managed- they would have been in massive bother if they didn't. Kids havent changed since then ,just parenting.

My dad hit me. Hard. And take his belt off to me when we got home. But mostly we didn't go anywhere.

I prefer the ipad approach to parenting.

Good for you.

I work with autistic children and adults and every single one of them has a screen over lunchtime.

I’m so sorry this happened to you!

I hope you don't let these judgy oh so perfect busy bodies stop you from enjoying time out with your son. I am hurt by many messages in this thread but I won't let it stop me taking my DD out to restaurants. It does however make me feel less kind to onlookers and strangers though.

To be fair it is set aside to eat so I suppose that is a difference too if kids are watching whilst eating.

It is sad how I and a number of other people have clearly been hurt/upset by parts of this thread. I wish people would just think a bit sometimes about what they are actually saying. Some of the language has really been quite nasty. Lazy. Disgusting. Etc.

What happened to good old fashioned colouring in a restaurant before the food arrives? I admit still a distraction, but surely better than becoming completely absorbed in a screen and are still developing motor skills? How will kids ever learn to be present for family time?

If you want to go out to eat take them to child friendly places like pubs with a soft play, there’s less risk of other people being bothered by your kids as people will be expecting kids to be there and for it to be louder?

It may be easier in the moment when out but don’t forget kids who aren’t learning to be present in family or social situations become adults who also who struggle to be present in the same situations…