Children on Ipads in restaurants

[Somersetlady]

Away in a resort. I am shocked by the number of children on ipads for the entire sitting of a meal. Breakfast lunch and dinner.

Buffet to fine dining.

From todlers upwards.

No social interaction with parents or staff and mindless eating whilst inhaling cartoons.

i understand that parents want a bit of a break but surely this is shockingly bad for the children?

In the majority of cases it is lazy parenting.

It shouldn't be a case of give them screens or they'll scream the place down.

There are a hell of a lot if kids that have been shown how to behave in public and manage to do do without screens.

It doesn't have to be ipad or run amok. ( Most) Children can be taught to sit still and eat and chat quietly

Maybe it's the ipad kids who are more likely to run amok...possibly a correlation

@Acornsplop and some can be taught to sit still and eat and enjoy their video quietly, while occasionally stopping to type out an interesting comment on what they are watching or eating. Not bothering you either way. Leave us alone.

@Somersetlady

Do you genuinely have no knowledge of why being on a screen whilst eating is harmful to children?

No. Please enlighten me. I was assuming it was the lack of interaction as a family you were referring to. Which is the same if all reading newspapers or books.

I've managed to raise 2 children who both had phones, computers, laptops and Ipads. And books, sports, drama, dance, scouts/guides and music. But the tech was there for them when they wanted it. As well as social media they were used for CBeebies, CBBC, BBC bitesize, films, short physics clips, and documentaries about Volcanoes and earthquakes. Plenty of educational stuff just like a book.

It's misguided to think that tech is inherently a bad thing. It can be used as just another form of media like books, newspapers, magazines, TV and film.

*that’s an averGe you understand how averages work right? Can come on and reply then leave for swim come back and it’s averaged out.

just clarifying because your post makes me assume you don’t understand the term average in this context?*

Most of your posts are 2-4 minutes apart, just filter at the top to scroll through them (on the app), with maybe two 20 min gaps, so please stop making out you're being the attentive mother. It's quite disingenuous.

Not sure you should be throwing the first stone.

Whiterose- I'm not sure anyone is suggesting that tech doesn't have some great benefits for kids, i think its more the meal time thing that op was referring to specifically

I absolutely hate this too. We are raising generations of young people incapable of holding a conversation. People who are saying “maybe they wanted to distract them” or “perhaps they didn’t want to disrupt other people”. Well show them how to behave and how to regulate their behaviour in an adult setting! It is absolutely fine for children to be bored, being bored is a normal part of life.

@Allfur. But reading at the table used to be seen as rude but nobody seems to object to it now.

Wow. Love the way you articulated this. My son has difficulties and will shortly be diagnosed with ADHD. An iPad whilst eating is an absolute MUST. He won’t eat without it. If he doesn’t have it, his food just gets picked to bits, he gets up and out of his seat around every few minutes and it seems impossible to go out for a meal. Tbh it would stop me from wanting to go out now knowing there are people watching and judging, but all of our situations are adapted to us. So it’s really not fair to cast an opinion on a family you know nothing about 😔

@Combattingthemoaners what about a young person who is literally incapable of holding a conversation, however he is "raised", and who, if bored, will "behave" OK, but (involuntarily) make enough noise by humming and squeaking to distract everyone in the restaurant? With his phone and headphones in place all is peaceful, and the only sounds you will hear are a bit of happy chuckling, and his occasional typed comment on his text-to-speech app. Are you going to judge us?

This thread has been very disheartening, I realise there are probably many people watching me judgementally and, as two PPs have agreed , finding me and my DS "disgusting", as we quietly enjoy our Saturday lunches out. I refuse to let it stop us, but it makes me feel sad.

"pretty rude.."

NO its not as they were in my house and they are all aware of my views.

If it was important, very obviously I would not have mentioned it.

Why do you think people in tema meetings, meets etc and TOLD to turn off or put on silient their mobiles and are openly challenged if they start messing around with their smart phone.

And yes, before someone starts the "my child is autistic" speech, autism was around for a long time before screens. My autistic child manages just fine in a restaurant as long as I keep him occupied and talk to him. I won't be taking him to a fine dine restaurant though!

Good for you. It's almost as though your experience of parenting an Autistic child isn't exactly the same as everyone else's.

I have one Autistic child who can cope perfectly well in a restaurant without a screen. I have another Autistic child who can't. We're not taking him to any fine dining places either, but we wouldn't be able to eat out as a family at all if he didn't have access to a device (with headphones) to help him regulate. I'm grateful to be living in a time where this is an option, the fact that it wasn't an option in the past is entirely irrelevant.

Judge all you like. It's hard enough parenting two children with SEND, I'm not going to actively make it harder for myself because people who know nothing of our situation might disapprove.

Please don't let it stop you. From one SEN parent to another, life is really hard sometimes and anyone who judges you for doing what you can to make it just a little bit easier sincerely needs to fuck off.

We used to do it on holiday when DD was little. Mostly at dinner, for two reasons .

1.She was fussy/not bothered about food so she wasn't really eating anyway.

1. She'd be really tired after a day running around , the sun,swimming etc and she just needed the quiet time. Most evenings she just fell asleep at the table and we'd carry her back in and put her to sleep.

She managed a lot better and we didn't need it once she was a but older.

A few years ago I was at a swanky restaurant and one couple were almost on top of each other snogging each other's faces off. The mother had her back turned to their baby (maybe six months) who was sitting in a high chair with an iPad. So sad. They never once gave the child any attention.

My DS got his first screen on prescription (not in the UK) precisely so he could watch it while eating. They're considered essential disability aids for children with autism and/or ADHD.

I thought only 15% of the population was neurodiverse

My 2 youngest sons one loves to eat out the other has asd and yes he has a phone or iPad otherwise we’d never go bloody anywhere he enjoys going for his dinner or lunch but just zones out last time his phone had died and he pointed to what he wanted never said a word the whole time and ate really fast then wanted to go home. It’s not fun for anyone else, he sits quietly watching his show or game doesn’t annoy anyone else.

If you think I’m lazy great but myself and other Sen parents just want a bit of normalcy and not to have to cook sometimes and if a child being on a device achieves that then so be it.

How does one tell which child has an invisible disability and which one has lazy parents?

Exactly, it is not a question of 'either' 'or' ... but teaching appropriate behaviour at the table- at least during the eating part of the meal- be it at home, or anywhere else. Quite simple, really.

I agree with the OP on this. It's actually quite depressing. Mealtimes are a good opportunity to engage with your kids and to teach appropriate behaviour. I pity the teachers who have to deal with these kids - their attention spans must be seriously damaged by frequent exposure to screens.

Two small kids walked straight out in front of my car at the local gym carpark at the weekend, carrying iPads and completely immersed in their screens. The mother was about 10 paces ahead. It's almost as though kids can't be expected to integrate into normal society anymore.

When i was young people didnt really take young children to restaurants in big numbers. Im not sure people ate out as much generally, and it was seen as a grown up space. If you did go, it was very much an early sitting at the right type of place.

So i think people are taking toddlers/youngster to places they didnt used to go so mum and dad arent stuck in. And using ipads to keep it calm and quiet for other diners.

They might talk lots at home.

They are on holiday. I wouldn't think it was great if they ate all their meals at home like that, but as long as it's not noisy I don't care what other people's kids do. Seems a shame to be focussing on that when you are meant to be enjoying yourself. It's better than kids running amok surely?