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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Realising how things weren’t normal for me growing up

349 replies

Jasminecandle · 04/02/2024 21:24

I have a real issue with food now as an adult. I am overweight and I eat too much of the wrong things. I also use food as a comfort.

When growing up we weren’t allowed to help ourselves to food. I was so so skinny as a child and teenager and I don’t think it was particularly healthy.
My parents would feed us three meals a day, but usually quite small portions for me, even as a growing teen.
I remember being hungry in the evenings as we used to eat our dinner about 5/5:30pm. Of course I was growing, but I can’t even imagine helping myself to a piece of toast before bed. So when I became an adult and moved out, I was shocked that people I knew including partners would eat whenever they liked.

Even now, as an adult if I go to my parent’s house I don’t ever help myself to food without asking … I bring my own food and keep it in the bedroom where I’m staying instead.

I even remember my Nan trying to feed me extra of her homemade cakes to put some meat on me as a teenager, but my mum would insist I only had 2 of these small homemade cakes, no more as I need to stay slim.

AIBU to believe my parents controlling attitude with food has lead to my issue with food and my weight as an adult?

OP posts:
CarterBeatsTheDevil · 05/02/2024 06:05

starfish4517 · 05/02/2024 05:42

The replies on this thread are shocking.
MN at its worse.

YANBU, of course childhood experiences affect the way we behave as adults.

I agree. It's not normal to go to bed hungry and that is exactly the kind of childhood experience that leads to obesity in adults.

DrySherry · 05/02/2024 06:14

I don't know about your family, but we were always a bit poor when I grew up in the 60's and 70's. Food was a major consideration in the family budget and eating what I wanted when I wanted would certainly have left me subject to disciplinary action. As would leaving the lights on, using the telephone without permission or turning on the hot water for an extra bath.
Is it also not possible that your parents may have recognised that you had a strong urge to over eat and therefore kept a close eye on you with regard to keeping you at a healthy weight ?
Regardless - you are an adult and blaming comfort eating on your childhood isn't going to be much help toward you controlling this - it's more likley to be used as a subconscious excuse to justify a feeling that you have good reason for having a lack of control with food.
YABU and just need to take responsibility. I wish you good luck in your struggle.

Ohyeahwaitaminute · 05/02/2024 06:18

My DM - through tissues of her own- has a very disordered view of eating/ weight etc. She considered herself overweight at a size 12.

Food was restricted in my house growing up.

It’s certainly rubbed off on me, but I recognise that it’s something I have to deal with. In my 50s… it’s still work in progress.

Meanwhile DM always comments on my weight whenever I see her. It drives me BANANAS.

Her view is :
Skinny = Successful in Life
Overweight= A complete failure

So, @Jasminecandle… acknowledge where your skewed up thinking originated from, and move forward with the help of a therapist.

GordoStevensMustache · 05/02/2024 06:20

Cel77 · 04/02/2024 22:19

If you were hungry, that's really not normal. You need to offer kids some choices as to what they want to eat. The best way to do this (in my humble opinion) is to offer healthy snacks. My 8 years old son is often "hungry" 20 minutes before bedtime even though we've had a proper meal at 5.30 /6 pm. He doesn't eat much but on the whole has enough I think. He's in the lower 10% weight wise but not underweight. He definitely can have food if he's hungry outside of meals (provided it's not 30 minutes or less earlier). I give him choices like wholegrain toast, fruit, carrots and hummous, crackers and cheese, cashew nuts, rice cakes etc... Sometimes, he can have a small bag of crisps or a cereal bar (not chocolate). If he refuses, I believe he's not that hungry, he just wants to snack. That's ok too but I'm offering enough choices for him to have one from the list above.
My mum dieted all my childhood and teenage years, I became anorexic at 17 and that ruined my early adult years.
I'm trying very hard not to make food an issue but I'm also trying to educate my children on healthy eating.
I hope you can make peace with food at some point. I'm still working on it!

Just an FYI, you're really making food an issue for your son. And this is not unusual for people with eating disorders. But please don't pass your unhealthy attitude to food onto your child.

Shadowsindarkplaces · 05/02/2024 06:27

1970s child 80s teen here, we had 3 meals, the only snack was a slice of cake with glass of squash coming in from school, but it was one homemade cake cut onto thin slices as it had to last the week for 3 adults and 2 children.
Meals were plated up in the kitchen.
There were no bought snacks.
It was a meat and 2 veg type diet. We could ask for an apple if still hungry.

Penis portions were normal too. I was slim, my brother podgy. I've always been relatively slim( middle-aged spread set in at 50) , my brother overweight. I'm currently on a mission to lose some of it.

My own DC are 30s now, we couldn't afford snacks, they ate 3 good meals, probably bigger portions than I had, but no snacks.

I guess it's the size of the portion you had rather than the frequency and lack of snacks. Age appropriate sized portions. A teen eating a toddler portion will be hungry.

GordoStevensMustache · 05/02/2024 06:30

DeeLusional · 05/02/2024 04:53

Yes, totally normal. I think you are looking to blame something other than yourself for your current overeating.

Wow your username is really quite apt isn't it? Snacking is not a bad thing! This thread has really brought out all of the disordered eaters hasn't it?!

My son (16) had a full roast dinner yesterday. Then an hour later made himself eggs on toast, then had cereal for supper. He's skinny as a rake but growing! He also has access to snacks whenever he wants because it's 2024 and we live in a developed country. I was born in 1977 and had the same access to food because my parents weren't weird about food.

i swear a lot of People.on this thread would love to have lived in the 40s and 50s with rationing. Bizarre.

Alwaysdieting · 05/02/2024 06:36

I think you just, like me, like food and use it for comfort and what ever you can blame your over eating on.
I could blame my up bringing on my attitude to food but I know Im a food alcoholic. Has you can tell by my name I have once again put myself on a diet and im sticking to it. Im going to my DB wedding this year and I want to look nice so I have a goal.
You need to help yourself and stop blaming anything else. Its up to you.

Aposterhasnoname · 05/02/2024 06:36

This was normal during the 70s, in the same way smoking round kids and letting them ride in the boot of the car was normal. No one I knew was allowed to just help themselves from the cupboards. Snacks just weren’t a thing in the 70s like they are now, and take a look at old photos from then. No one was fat!

TickTickTock · 05/02/2024 06:44

kittybiscuits · 04/02/2024 21:37

I'm sorry you were underfed as a child and that people are trying to gaslight you about it on your thread. There are a lot of restrictive eaters and competitive undereaters on MN. Your adult relationship with food and eating is undoubtedly related to your childhood experiences, but that doesn't absolve you from doing work on yourself and building better eating habits. Would you think about having therapy?

Yes, this! Please don't listen to others telling you it was normal. You clearly know that it wasn't and it's obviously affected how you feel about food now. I developed an eating disorder as an adult and had some specialist therapy to help me get better- we explored early experiences of food, including my parents' attitudes towards it, because these experiences do shape our thought patterns and behaviours. It doesn't mean that you have no control over this now as an adult, but it does mean that you can use that knowledge to understand your own internal thought processes and behaviours, and get some therapy (if you want to) to explore it further. Take care OP x

bonzaitree · 05/02/2024 06:49

If I was hungry after tea then my parents would let me have fruit or a slice of toast. They would definitely have said “you can’t be hungry we’ve just eaten” or “have a glass of water” first though.

i think it’s hard for parents to get the balance right. I do think you need to work on your own issues.

Wingingit11 · 05/02/2024 06:50

I wonder if this is more about the emotional support your parents provided (it sounds quite cold - mine not unlike that too) than the rigidity of meals (not unusual?)

muddyford · 05/02/2024 06:52

I grew up in the 1970s and never helped myself to food. I don't now when I visit my parents. I have zero issues with food (except chocolate). People forget how little family money there was too.

wildernesssw · 05/02/2024 07:10

I am a bit shocked at how many families restricted their child's access to food.

I grew up in the 70s and 80s, and had the usual 3 meals a day, and there weren't 'snack' foods in the house. Some food weren't allowed without permission

But we had unlimited access to cereal with milk, bread and cheese, yoghurt, and apples/oranges ('fancy' fruit such as grapes were rationed because expensive). The same with friends when I was at their house - there were always some foods available without permission. Toast was fairly standard as a snack. My brother would have a stack of cheese sandwiches before bed and was skinny as a rake, but dinner was large enough for our parents (and usually for me).

Going to bed hungry wasn't normal, for me or for any of my friends. We didn't snack all the time, and were expected to wait if we were hungry within half an hour or so of a meal, but going hungry for hours? No, of course not.

And yes, that pattern will affect your adult life. I hope you get some professional help in changing your mindset about food so you can have a healthier approach in future.

IchGlaubMeinSchweinPfeift · 05/02/2024 07:18

kittybiscuits · 04/02/2024 21:37

I'm sorry you were underfed as a child and that people are trying to gaslight you about it on your thread. There are a lot of restrictive eaters and competitive undereaters on MN. Your adult relationship with food and eating is undoubtedly related to your childhood experiences, but that doesn't absolve you from doing work on yourself and building better eating habits. Would you think about having therapy?

The first sensible answer on this thread.
Op, it's NOT normal to keep food from a hungry child. At all.

Gobimanchurian · 05/02/2024 07:24

We were always hungry because there wasn't enough food (think drugs/alcohol abusing parents, chaos).

I struggle with a normal relationship with food too, impulse control, finishing what's on your plate, waste.

Being deprived of food when you're growing up casts a long shadow.

My kids all help themselves outside of being fed square meals - they're normal healthy weights, don't binge.

FluffyFanny · 05/02/2024 07:27

Well, it sounds like your parents were on to something- under their care you were slim and healthy and now you have free access to food you are fat.

stayathomer · 05/02/2024 07:30

No snacks means no yoghurts, no fruit, no eg tea eg cheese on toast etc? Then stop eating after 6? Sounds horrible! Did you ever get treats op? I don’t know if it could be the reason for anything like you say but yes, still a very constrained way of living!

Scottishshortbread11877 · 05/02/2024 07:31

I think 2 cakes is normal, you would want to eat more than 2 cakes?

WhoopsyDaisySugar · 05/02/2024 07:34

It’s a long one!

OP - YANBU.

No, it’s not normal to not have any snacks between the standard three main meals per day.

I was born in the mid 70s, working class household with two working parents. I think the fact that both of my parents worked made a difference to how much food was in the home as lack of food was never an issue. I was allowed to snack between meals. After school snacks were standard and I was skinny (genetics and metabolism also have a huge bearing). Snacking can be healthy if you eat the right snacks and in moderation. I can’t recall, but I’m sure I used to ask permission to eat snacks as that was how I was brought up, and I have taught my DC to do the same. This is mainly for meal planning and also to ensure they are not overdoing it with the less healthy snacks.
I would never help myself to food in anyone else’s home without asking first, even my parent’s home. That would rude.

I went from skinny to slim after having my first DC my 20s. I had another two DCs a lot later and I’m still slim. I was a sporty child and didn’t think about food consumption. I ate if I was hungry. I have fond memories of my father collecting me from school always with a Ribena drink (way too sweet but acceptable back in the day!), a piece of fruit and a packet of nuts. My parents cooked dinner with fresh ingredients most evenings and I never went to bed hungry. I don’t have a strict exercise routine as I find it boring, but I try to walk a lot. I walk around the park on my weekly day off and I sometimes run when DC is at the track. When I do have time for structured exercise, I also focus on exercise that strengthens my core, e.g., Pilates and dance classes.

I enjoy eating, but I can make a large bar of chocolate last a week. I couldn’t eat a whole packet of biscuits in one sitting without feeling sick. 3-4 biscuits every 2-3 days is enough for me. I love crisps and most probably eat too much of those. I mainly WFH so I snack a lot more than when I’m in the office, although I do bring healthy and not so healthy snacks from home when working at the office. I always eat lunch. I sometimes it eat it later than planned, but I always eat lunch.

So, our youngest two DC are very tall for their ages at 9 and 13, heavily involved in sports and always hungry. Our 13yo is now taller than me and I’m 5’8”. DH is over 6ft and also involved in sports. Our DC have grown fast and are still growing. They need more food, compared to their peers because their bodies are growing fast and they exercise a lot. They are allowed to eat not so healthy foods, but this is monitored. Eg, no junk food before lunchtime. Pizza and chips no more than twice a week for the DC (inclu. once a week at school). Burgers once pw. As a child, I was only allowed to eat sweets during the weekend. I tried this with our own DC, but they are not really bothered about sweets and mainly want chocolate and cakes. It’s obviously hard to police this with our 13 yo as they have access to shops before and after school. We simply try to encourage our DC to not consume too much junk food and provide them with healthy alternatives. Everything in moderation is how I look at it. Our adult DC is also slim
and they are an average height.

After school, our DC are allowed to eat a maximum of 5 biscuits no more than every other day, but only after having cereal, a sandwich, fruit, toast, crumpets, nuts, yogurts, etc. We have a constant supply of fruit and DC do not have to ask permission to eat fruit, I guess because we encourage them to eat a piece of fruit or veg when they say they are hungry between meals. Our DC will eat a raw carrot without asking.
I cook dinner using fresh ingredients at least 4 times pw. Not cooking nutritious meals at least a few times pw is not an excuse due to working. I also batch cook where I can.
I tend to eat breakfast late morning as I’m just not hungry enough to eat it any earlier. Our DC often do the same. They take healthy snacks to school to eat on their way to school or during their mid morning school breaks.

Large proportion sizes are a major problem in weight gain. I had to raise this as an issue with the nursery our youngest two DC attended, at least twice. I had arrived to collect DC early during the lunchtime session and was horrified at the amount of food that had been dished up. The children were also allowed to have seconds if they asked. One of the Nursery Managers and a few of the other nursery workers were overweight. A few of them would have been considered obese and just didn’t understand where I was coming from. I plainly and simply advised them on the portion size we thought was adequate for our DC and that they were not to be given seconds. The nursery also employed a Cook and had scheduled enough food breaks throughout the nursery day, which included fruit and vegetables. There were periods when the Nursery Cook was off and other nursery workers, including the overweight managers prepared and served the food - this clearly was the problem.

Now, my mum came from a big with family with lots of siblings and food was in poor supply. She was a skinny child who grew into a slim adult, and feels that her body development was hampered due to the lack of food. She is a slim adult but has hang ups about certain areas of her body, i.e, legs too skinny. I don’t remember my mum’s feelings about food having an impact on me as a child. I think this is the case as my mum figured it all out as an older adult. Although, my mum has made comments over the years re. how little food we gave our always hungry DC when they were a toddler, and now she makes negative comments about how this same DC eats too much. We as adults brush off her comments as we see how her childhood experience has informed her view around food, although her comments have upset our DC. We have attempted to nip it in the bud by addressing my mum’s comments immediately with my mum, and explaining how body shaming comments can dent a young person’s insecurities around food and lead to ED issues. Especially when that child already is a lot taller, is a girl going through puberty and is already more developed than their peers.

OP - You’ll have to re-learn everything about food and how it fuels our bodies. Research nutritious foods and its value. Exercise if you’re not already doing so. It won’t be easy. Start with lots of walking. Maybe also look into getting some therapy to work through it. Good luck.

Bestyearever2024 · 05/02/2024 07:35

I think your parents sound way too strict about food

I think blaming their food weirdnesses on you NOW being fat, is a stretch

If you are saying you have an eating disorder because of your upbringing then you need to seek help from your GP, a dietician, a counsellor

You're in charge of your life, now, not your parents

FreddyGD · 05/02/2024 07:37

in any shape or form a child going to bed hungry every night is not normal, I feel for you OP that’s a lot for you to think about especially if you have your own children and imagining them being hungry, it will hurt.

Having said that I think as an adult and for the sake of good health you need to find a way to be able to be the weight you’ll feel happy with. Wishing you all the best.

Jasminecandle · 05/02/2024 07:43

@AncientBallerina

You've just unlocked a memory for me. I used to have unidentified stomach pains regularly as a teen and I now realise it was simply hunger. I also just had a flashback to almost passing out at school as I was so hungry, I used to eat a tiny breakfast and walk miles , I do remember restricting my own food intake because of my parents words and actions. I was scared of putting weight on. I remember my school friends forcing me to eat a burger from the school canteen.

OP posts:
username123457 · 05/02/2024 07:51

My mother had a lot to say about weight. I could see right through the BS though, so rejected her messaging. I think there is more in play in eating disorders than parental messaging. School friends can send powerful messages from the beginning.

Obesity can go hand in hand with ND or things like depression or other issues. So can under eating.

Maybe you could consult a nutritionist and find out what portion sizes you need and look at how things could change for you?

JurassicParkaha · 05/02/2024 07:56

Responses here are exactly why adults in this country have no idea how to be healthy and then raise kids on opposite ends of the weight scale - too skinny or too fat.

This obsession with weight is bonkers. Just because a child is thin doesn't mean they're healthy! Especially with puberty and muscle mass - food is supposed to help balance hormones, help grow muscle and bone density and be additional support for girls on periods. That's why the healthiest diets in the world when children grow into healthy old people is the Mediterranean and Vietnamese diets which both have regular small meals we'd call snacks.

Op, if all your mother cared about was your size and not your energy levels, stamina, ability to remember, hormones, periods, whether you were growing muscle etc - she knew nothing about food. And sending you hungry was her way of teaching you control, and of her feeling in control. Bless you were overweight a restrictive diet was about control not being healthy. No child should go to bed hungry in the first world - teenagers have different requirements to adults.

You can't change your parents but you can help yourself. Stop seeing food as good or bad, famine or feast but think about what you need to keep your body healthy. It isn't about portion sizes alone but the type of food, and also balancing it with exercise. No point being skinny if you can't run a mile or lift things or at risk of bone disease or hormones all over the shop.

Food science has charged it's guidance over the years. Not everything our parents did was the right thing. That's why no one wore spf, smoking was allowed indoors and women couldn't get mortgages. Your parents didn't know any better but you do - and can teach your own children better. Get support from a nutritionist if it helps or even the NHS website has good info.

Remember it isn't about the weight, but the health. There's plenty of skinny adults who can get osteoporosis in old age or die of heart failure young or don't have the energy/stamina they should. Eat to nourish not punish.

pleasepleasepleasebequiet · 05/02/2024 07:57

If you were given three SMALL meals a day and were often hungry then this may explain your relationship with food.

However, my mum was a feeder and my siblings are all obese. An older sibling even died of an illness that would have been prevented if they'd lost weight.