To be fed up how quick everyone expects a response?

[asrarpolar]

People contact me by email, whatsup, facebook messenger and most seem to expect a response that day. Its just too much and is really stressing me out. If it is important phone me! But nobody ever does.

I think that will seriously limit your friendship group and social possibilities

I would ring if I was worried about a non response.

But if you're too busy to respond to a message, you're too buy to answer a call, surely?

It comes across that you're far too busy for these inconsequential people who mistakenly think you're their friend and worthy of 2 mins of your time!

You haven’t said how many days between the friends first and second messages.

I think maybe you are just out of step with modern life. That’s fine, you should live your life the way it suits you best, but there are always repercussions

Different people like different approaches. It’s valid for you to dislike texts etc. It’s valid for me to dislike phone calls. Neither of us is Wong, it is down to personal preferences.

@SheilaFentiman No I do not. If you need a quick reply phone me. Most things do not. If you have arranged something a while ago with someone who never cancels why assume it may not be happening?
I am not flaky at all.

For me it's the expectation of carrying on a dialogue. I just don't want to most of the time.

It takes 30 seconds to respond to a message. If I didn't get a response to a message about a social event I'd assume the person didn't want to come. I certainly wouldn't bother calling them if they couldn't be arsed to reply to a message.

My mum, unlike her same age siblings and cousins, chose never to get email or a smart phone. So she doesn’t get a quick picture of the kids being cute or get kept in the loop if someone is setting up a family BBQ and checking for dates. She will still be invited, but she won’t get a say in the dates, because people are busy.

I honestly don't understand why it's now stressful than them all calling you.

You haven't responded to my post about you saying you're a busy person, yet phone calls take much longer (and demand your attention immediately, not at some point in the next 24 hours) yet finding the less intrusive option unreasonable. Can you explain?

This drives me mad at work. Someone will send an email at 16:45 on a Friday, then on Monday at 9:30 will chase for a response saying something aggy like "As I haven't heard back from you..." FFS, you sent that email 45 working minutes ago!

Sorry, @FloofyKat , that typo made me grin

Yet that's what a phone call demands FAR more than a message.

Not at all. I would answer a call and talk to the person.
And it is not about my time. It is that constantly checking and replying to lots of apps is stressful. I work, I am busy, I do not know how people manage the stress of this on top of everything else. I can't cope with it.

Im totally with you on this. It exhausting! I usually see what they’ve text on the screen banner and reply when I’m free/ feel ready later on that day. Sometimes I reply straight away. Just do you. The person cancelling as you hadn’t replied yet is out order -that’s pretty strange tbh.

You do come across as incredibly stressed and highly strung @asrarpolar

Is there something going on in your life that you aren’t acknowledging but focusing on this trivial matter instead?

I mean this kindly as I am sure many of us have been there.

Dialogues in apps are so wearing. I take part to be polite. But because they are all sort messages they are so boring. Like - what are you up to today? Oh just doing a bit of shopping after work, etc etc. It is not real intimacy, just small talk without even the pleasure of seeing someone face to face.

If you can answer on your landline, I assume you work from home?

@tenterden Yes I have a lot of stress in my life at the moment in every area of my life. This is just adding to it.

Im totally with you on this. It exhausting! I usually see what they’ve text on the screen banner and reply when I’m free/ feel ready later on that day. Sometimes I reply straight away. Just do you. The person cancelling as you hadn’t replied yet is out order -that’s pretty strange tbh.

I would view checking with someone I had forthcoming plans with as pretty normal. I would also think it's normal to respond.

@SheilaFentiman most of the time. And if I am not working from home I am in meetings where I can not do any personal communications anyway.

But that's so much more intrusive. I hate demands for attention, but a phone call is more intrusive than a text, surely?

Years ago I felt under pressure to respond to messages immediately or it would be seen as rude. I ended up not even being able to get out the house as every time I responded another message flew back!

Now I deliberately don't respond straight away, otherwise the other person knows you're "live" and then you get stuck with them.

I'm with you OP. I remember back in the day my boss explaining that you have to give people a week to reply to an email! Whatever happened to that! I like a day off every now and then to recharge and reboot - don't want any contact from anyone other than family or emergencies. Hate keep getting interrupted and feeling obliged to stop what I'm doing and respond. Thankfully most of my friends accept me!

General chitchat I understand, but not answering to messages when someone is trying to arrange something is really annoying to be on the other side of. How long from the message was sent asking you until the person cancelled it?

Today I missed out on a holiday because a friend doesn't answer his messages. We agreed we would go last weekend, I check the flights and sent a message asking if they were okay and we needed to be fast as they were the last ones. And he didn't respond. Tried again, no response. Phone call, doesn't pick up. Today the flights went out of our price range. I am trying to think rationally and reasonably about it, but honestly, I am raging. So incredibly selfish.

There is no such thing as an urgent text.
An emergency is a phone call a text is chit chat .