Stag/ hen do ... no wedding invite

[jimjack]

Just wondering ... invited to stag/ hen do, but no wedding invite. All other friends invited to wedding... what are your thoughts?

not ok

Bloody rude, I wouldn't go.

Not ok. Don’t go.

No not ok I'd think this was a bloody cheek and I wouldn't be going.

I've had this and if I've fancied the weekend away with my friends I've just gone. Why not if you'll have fun? If your finanaces allow though of course. I wouldn't have stretched myself financially though

Bad form. Don't go.

Rude.
Possibly need to make the numbers up to pay for the bride to be's share of the hen do.

If the wedding invitations have definitely been sent, I wouldn't personally go. Unless you want to eg if it is a spa weekend you would like to do, at a place you want to visit and wouldn't otherwise do so etc.

I’d assume the invitation was lost/delayed in the post

Rude

I think that’s really bad - unless it was an absolutely mammoth stag / hen? Tradition dictates the very particular and closest friends attend stag / hen so it seems a snub not to have been invited to the wedding.

That said, and the reason I responded to this, I was guilty of inviting a lot of people to our engagement party who did not make it onto the wedding list. I didn’t see a problem with this (we had restricted numbers, which we weren’t aware of at the time of the engagement) but apparently this was a big faux pas and one person in particular was very upset with me. Has the wedding venue - or even their pockets - shrunk since the time of the hen do perhaps…?

You’re on the stag and hen to up numbers and financially contribute- these aren’t your friends

Very bizarre.

I do think you have to double check that your invitation hasn’t gone missing. But if you are not invited to the wedding then I wouldn’t go.

Who are they? Were you expecting to be invited to the wedding?

It's grabby of the groom because you'd be contributing money to the stag, without being invited to the wedding.

Is it that you don't get on with the bride so she doesn't want you at the wedding, but the groom wants you at the stag?

Or reverse the genders if applicable.

I think it’s terrible but I know someone who did this (stag) and they genuinely believed it was fine as it was ‘a chance to have a reunion (of sorts) with lots of old uni friends’.

that’s ok if those people know they are not invited to the wedding upfront but the invitations went out afterwards

I prefer it this way at times, though clearly you don't.

Back when these things were literally going out in town, fine. Now when you have to spend money and reduce the cost for others, not a chance. I’d say rude.

Invites were hand delivered, next door got theirs months ago, so not missing in the post.
Actual wedding is small but party following is for everyone!

Happened to me 🙋🏼‍♀️ really regret being a mug and wish I hadn’t gone.

Inviting someone to a hen/stag/engagement without an invitation to the wedding is incredibly bad form and poor manners. I definitely wouldn’t be going.

Yes I was just saying to husband what a mug he'll feel when everybody is cheering on the groom!
I'm fuming, he's gutted!

I always thought part of the hen/stag do was that people going to the wedding would get to meet before the day, so at the wedding your cousin Katie has already met your best friend Suzie and they will be happy socialising with your friend Sue from work who was also there etc.

I think some men see this differently. My own DH was invited on a stag do but not the wedding. He really wasn’t bothered by that, to him it wasn’t a snub. He fancied a weekend away with his mates and did go to the stag do. If it was me, I would probably have seen it as a snub and wouldn’t have gone.

Happened to me and I didn’t realise until I was at the hen do that I was the only one not invited to the day. It was humiliating and I’ve never forgiven the ‘friend’ and don’t think I ever will. Still loosely in a group with them but I never contact them/spend time with them/make effort.