Stag/ hen do ... no wedding invite

[jimjack]

Just wondering ... invited to stag/ hen do, but no wedding invite. All other friends invited to wedding... what are your thoughts?

I went on an ex colleague/good friends hen do years ago, without realising the wedding invites had gone out and I wasn't invited. It was so embarrassing as everyone was discussing wedding accommodation and dresses and I had to sit like a lemon. The bride didn't get in touch with me again after and haven't seen her since.

Rude, very rude not to even have an evening invite
I think you're wanted to make up the numbers

I had this once. Was invited to hen do and the 3 showers. No wedding invite. I did receive a registry for the 3 showers and an ask for a suggested donation for the hen 100 per person, 150 per couple. Needless to say I went to none!

Should explain hen do was women only during the day and a joint hen/stag in the evening.

DH did this on his stag, but it was clear that he was inviting work mates to the stag as well as friends and relatives who went to the stag and wedding.

It was also a night out in the town where he was working, so other than train fare/petrol, costs were usual “night out” costs and they all kipped on the floor of his flat. So no flights and hotels.

Possible.

Ask the bride/ groom and take it from there. I'd go for, Hi X, my wedding invite doesn't seem to have arrived. Am I still going?

If the others received their invites a while back then you do need to lnow where you stand.

@TeaGinandFags op said “Invites were hand delivered, next door got theirs months ago, so not missing in the post.”

I wouldn't go. It's very rude and done just to make up numbers.

I have been to a hen abroad and was not invited to the wedding service but the dinner after! Bride actually said she was paying to feed me. I bit my tongue and wanted to say not as much as I paid for the flight and hotel! Cheeky.
Haven't seen her for years. Some brides love a 'rent-a-crowd'.

Similar situation recently, I'm helping to plan my best friends hen party (I'm her maid of honor) and I had the task of messaging everyone on her list to ask if they were up for coming to the hen party. One of the contacts she gave me had asked if I also wanted the number of another 2 ladies who were friends with my friend but they weren't on the list of people from my friend. I asked my friend if I should invite them to her hen and she said no because neither were invited to her wedding (or wedding evening do) so I would say no, don't go.

Is the stag/hen do being organised by the bride/groom or by say, a sibling or cousin or friend from uni? Could it be that the stag inviter assumed that 'all the neighbours' were invited but misunderstood and didn't clarify with the bride/groom and invited dh to the stag without knowing he wasn't invited to the wedding?

I've been to work colleagues' hen dos and not been invited to the wedding. It didn't seem to be bad form, it was just an excuse to go out. But this was in the days when people went for a shindig in town, there was no travel or accommodation to pay for.

So I guess it depends on how you know the person getting married and what the hen do expectation is.