So my fiance and I have just had a huge fight and he's stormed off. I want honest options on who is in the wrong and whether I'm being unreasonable.
We have a 12 week old baby and since she's been born my fiance has been great with helping out by doing all the laundry and keeping the house tidy. He's gone back to work but works from home so is here with us during the day. Our baby is pretty easygoing but will only contact nap and I'm breastfeeding, so I spend pretty much all day either feeding her of nap trapped. I get snippets during the day when I can put her down on her playmat when she's happy and awake and I use that time to make myself lunch or have a shower, but other than that I'm holding her and I struggle to wear her in a carrier as she doesn't like it and the extra weight hurts my knees, especially when bending down.
So basically my fiance is becoming increasingly annoyed at mess around the house and this includes him being particularly annoyed about my not sending parcels back quickly enough so they sit behind the door for a few weeks. As I'm sure those with babies will appreciate, sending a parcel back when you have a newborn isn't that easy, you have to get them ready and leave the house which is already a mission, and then when at the post office I have to get her out, set the pram up etc, all the whole shes crying as she hates being in the car, so I have been delaying doing it.
Another key thing that annoys him is me being forgetful. Doing things like forgetting to turn the lights off and leaving cups around the house. Anyway, thismorning (Saturday) he brought me a cup of coffee in bed, I asked him to take the baby for 15 mins so I could have a baby break as I haven't had one all week other than 5 mins when I have a quick shower. He took the baby and within 5 mins he was calling me as he wanted to make himself breakfast. I said ok I'll come and make breakfast, you hold the baby.
10 mins later I hear him stomping downstairs and he's furious as I left the coffee cup upstairs in the bedroom, and apparently he had asked me to remember to bring it down when he gave it to me.
I understand that mess stresses him out, but I don't think he's being understanding enough of the fact that I'm sleep deprived (I look after the baby all night, he sleeps in the spare room and she's not a great sleeper) and that I'm not doing it on purpose, it's just genuine lapses in concentration or memory. Also it's hard for me to do housework and tidy up as I'm literally holding the baby for 23 hours a day.
It's worth noting that I am forgetful and untidy my nature. I was always getting a hard time for it at school and by my parents as a child/teenager, and I have been diagnosed with ADHD. As I've gotten older I've developed strategies to help me stay tidy and organised, however with the baby and accompany sleep deprivation they are going out it the window at the moment and I am a bit of a hot mess. He's always know I'm like this though, so I feel it's unfair of him to constantly be nagging me and getting on my case for things that aren't intentional, and part of my personality, especially when I'm trying me best to be a good mum and I think I'm doing a good job.
Anyway, rant over. I would be interested to hear things from both sides.