DH and his flag pole dream….

[Lilysienna1]

DH mentioned a few years ago, that he has ‘always wanted’ to have a flag on display in the front garden. A proper flag on a pole, that we would raise up every morning, and ‘fly at half mast’ when the occasion calls for it.

I have never ever even thought of having a flag. We are British and I know it’s quite common in America, but not so much here. DH isn’t a football fan, so it’s nothing to do with the flag flying we see during the World Cup and the like.

last year, for Christmas he said the only present he would wish for, was to have that flag. He was most disappointed with the watch and aftershave he received instead.

He has now mentioned it to 13 year old DD who thinks it’s ‘kinda cool’ and she could imagine using it behind her for tik tok dances.

So now, I’m being made out to be highly unreasonable and a bore, for saying I do not want to raise a bloody flag every morning and see it outside the front of my house every day. I did try to compromise by saying ‘maybe’ a small one in the back garden, but DH says it’s to go out the front only, and why should we be ashamed of patriotism.

We don’t live in a grand estate home, just a detached house in a redrow cul-de-sac. The neighbours wouldn’t be affected as there are large trees between our only neigbours drive and ours, and we are on the corner.

However, everyone that comes in and out our road will see it as it’s the first house.

what would you do?? Give in and say yes to DH and his flag pole or put your foot down? Am I really being that unreasonable and boring? Does anyone else fly a flag? 🤦🏻‍♀️

That's what I'd assume!! What a stereotype...

After reading this I now want to get a flag pole! The far left have hijacked the flag. Some of us normal middlies need to take it back.

Is there any chance that this is like getting a dog - he promises he will completely look after the flag and do all the raising and lowering, but then gets annoyed when you won’t take it on…

My in-laws live in a village in Somerset with a few sort of posh “villa” type Georgian houses with big front gardens, I’ve noticed a few flagpoles there. They fly a mixture of what I think are team flags for rugby and football, some local regional things and maybe the odd St George’s cross during sport events. It looks less bad than I would have imagined actually.

Reclaim the flag, we shouldnt allow the far right to appropriate it.

I've stayed in accommodation near masts and the ropes flap against the masts. I imagine flagpoles would make a similar noise and be intensely annoying. I would not personally want one but if it was a lifelong dream of my husbands (it wouldnt be)I'd probably compromise. So if there is nothing to forbid it (check highway and planning law on where you can site it) I'd agree to a small one and hope the noise was so bad he'd agree to remove it.

I do like the idea of varying the flags so tell him he has to agree that you can fly other flags sometimes. You could have a Halloween pumpkin flag (or a day of the dead one of the neighbours dont have small children), a lest we forget poppy flag, a Christmas flag. a birthday flag. There are others - penguin windsock would be fun.

The ‘pride in our country’ brigade, in my experience, do have racist tendencies 🤷‍♀️

Do you think that of Welsh and Scottish people who might fly their flag too? Or the Irish? Your head must be spinning with all of this 'racism' around now that the Six Nations has started...

Absolutely not. It will make you a target for hostility as most people link flying Union Jack with extreme right wing politics.

Love the Jolly Roger idea.

I would actually divorce rather than have a Union Jack flying in my garden, so YANBU.

This ^
in no other country would flying the national flag be seen as racist.

Wall to wall rugby here now. The red dragon shirts are out, beer in the fridge and a swear jar on the table. 😂😂

Are you married to my DH OP? He wants one too, a handful of houses in our area have them and it has put the idea in his head. I am very resistant and now people have mentioned how noisy they can be I am even more against it, our neighbours would complain about the noise.

Bit if he ever gets his way I’m loving all the suggestions of different flags for different occasions and will go to town on it!

YANBU. I'm afraid I assume people living in houses with UK flags at the front (when it's not the coronation/Olympics etc.) are massive racists who probably go on EDL marches. It's a shame but reality.

That makes me so sad to think that having pride in one's country can be construed as having 'racist tendencies' What a sad state of affairs.

The husband here doesn’t just want to put up a massive great flag in the front garden of his new build home. He wants to have regular ceremonial raising and lowering of this flag.

Given this is all a new request (even if being pitched as a ‘lifelong dream’ that’s somehow never come up in the last 20 years!), it’s perfectly reasonable for his wife to be horrified at the thought.

Can he not just volunteer to lead a local beavers group and get his flag ceremony fix that way. He’d even get to wear the uniform with the week neckerchief and make the kids line up and salute.

It’s not too odd. I have seen lots of people up here in Scotland with flags, but then the whole independence nonsense happened and a lot disappeared because if you had a Scotland flag out, you looked like an indie voter even if you weren’t and you couldn’t fly a Union Jack because then you opened yourself up to abuse from indie voters. So it sort of became the sign of the independence voter, having a flag out.

I think it might be similar in England since brexit. You look a little brexiteer-y, racist, too many foreigners etc.

It’s such a shame that we can’t just fly our flags without the connotation of being a bit of an extreme political follower. It’s been years and years since both those votes so maybe it’s time to reclaim the flag as just a nice bit of patriotism. Failing that, you could design your own “house flag” as a family!

What about athletes who wrap themselves in the Union Flag after a successful event? Are they racists and bigots? Mo Farah, Denise Lewis et al?

I would too.

Genuinely I’d be so absolutely horrified and unable to live with it.

Hanging a flag up in your window because there’s a sporting event is really not comparable to erecting a permanent flag pole in the garden.

They are clearly all gammony fascists. 🙄

It's pretty common in Wales and probably Scotland but somehow here in England just shouts Brexiteer to me, so I wouldn't want one at all.

Same as those awful Union Jack cushions which instantly put me off renting any holiday cottage I see with them.

Here in Scotland I see quite a few Saltires, all back gardens, I've yet to see out front. One house changes them seasonly; they seem to have a variety, gives me a wee smile.
Maybe compromise and suggest back garden.

And in my experience people describing anyone with a different view as "brigades" are snooty and self-righteous.

Same as those awful Union Jack cushions which instantly put me off renting any holiday cottage I see with them

FFS. How do people like this exist in the real world? 😂😂

my Neighbours have one in their back garden, they have replaced it 3 times as far as I know as the wind has damaged it. I hate looking outside my office room as it’s all I can see

Flags can be really noisy - the loud flapping in the wind and the clanging of the pulley, that’s only going to cause issues with close neighbours.