DH and his flag pole dream….

[Lilysienna1]

DH mentioned a few years ago, that he has ‘always wanted’ to have a flag on display in the front garden. A proper flag on a pole, that we would raise up every morning, and ‘fly at half mast’ when the occasion calls for it.

I have never ever even thought of having a flag. We are British and I know it’s quite common in America, but not so much here. DH isn’t a football fan, so it’s nothing to do with the flag flying we see during the World Cup and the like.

last year, for Christmas he said the only present he would wish for, was to have that flag. He was most disappointed with the watch and aftershave he received instead.

He has now mentioned it to 13 year old DD who thinks it’s ‘kinda cool’ and she could imagine using it behind her for tik tok dances.

So now, I’m being made out to be highly unreasonable and a bore, for saying I do not want to raise a bloody flag every morning and see it outside the front of my house every day. I did try to compromise by saying ‘maybe’ a small one in the back garden, but DH says it’s to go out the front only, and why should we be ashamed of patriotism.

We don’t live in a grand estate home, just a detached house in a redrow cul-de-sac. The neighbours wouldn’t be affected as there are large trees between our only neigbours drive and ours, and we are on the corner.

However, everyone that comes in and out our road will see it as it’s the first house.

what would you do?? Give in and say yes to DH and his flag pole or put your foot down? Am I really being that unreasonable and boring? Does anyone else fly a flag? 🤦🏻‍♀️

@Maireas Yes thanks I wrote that part on purpose to highlight my own judgement/bigotry and to warn OP that that's where many people's minds will go regardless of if it's true of not. I'm not saying it's good that I judge. Many other people will see it like me.

How is your DD going to angle her phone to get the flag in for TikTok? She's going to look as if she's dancing in front of an open-air pole - which presumably isn't the effect she (or your DH) is after...

I'm Team Flag. Quite a few of them out where we are (rural borderlands), including Ukrainian, random football clubs, several regiments, Jolly Rogers, and all six of the Six Nations during the rugby.

The noise of ropes flapping against the pole is REALLY annoying. I also don't like people who leave flags up to go shabby. But, I am all in favour of reclaiming flags from the hooligan element and making it acceptable to fly national flags in England. Weirdly, I see more Ukrainian flags around here than English ons or Union flags.

I love the idea of the Jolly Roger, or the county flag.

🙄

What,you mean like someone who's proud of their country and nationality? What's so bad about that? Why would that offend you?

We can see a Union Jack from our house because of a social club next door. When our neighbour was selling the house the estate agent recommended they ask if they would lower lt on the viewing day as it can put off buyers.
I hate seeing it flapping about, luckily my neighbourhood is very diverse but my friend lives in a village and is so embarrassed by her neighbours flag as it looks like it's in her garden 😂.

Is this in Hampshire?

There's a certain type of person who puts a flag pole up in the garden. Don't be that person

Exactly. If he's not that person, then he must be quite startlingly dim lacking in awareness (especially if he thinks it's somehow the same as your neighbour having a cherry tree ).

House nearby has a flag pole, but puts up flags like “don’t worry, be happy”, halloween, Christmas, happy birthday, Jolly Roger. Quite fun spotting a new flag.

I'm Team Flag. Quite a few of them out where we are (rural borderlands), including Ukrainian, random football clubs, several regiments, Jolly Rogers, and all six of the Six Nations during the rugby

We are very rural too and several people have flags in our village. We also have a village flagpole. They always make me smile especially at Six Nations time! There will be a few St George flags flying today!

If DH really gets into it, he can buy a set of maritime flags and start sending passive aggressive messages to the oblivious neighbours. Maybe you'll get a knock on the door from an unassuming chap with a briefcase and that'll be your DH's entree into a world of international espionage, as your back garden is used as a covert communication centre for a network of embedded agents.

No, you're right. It's not good being judgemental. About how people vote - we live in a democracy - or if they choose to fly a flag.

I'm team flag. I know someone who had a flag pole on the terrace-roof of his lovely mews house in Fulham. We had a lot of fun with it!

Flags are symbols.

You might not like some of the meanings that find groups have very strongly to the Union Jack. But it’s ridiculous to just pretend those meanings don’t exists or deny that it might matter.

Comparisons to the meaning of national flags in other cultural contexts are irrelevant. The UK is not the USA and the flags have different histories.

In the UK, erecting a flag pole in your front garden and flying a Union Jack is a statement. It may be a stronger statement in some parts of the UK (doing it in suburban Glasgow is definitely not the same as doing it in Worthing) and the meanings your neighbours will read from the symbolic display may differ accordingly. But they still exist. And you’re choosing to make a symbolic statement.

I think we are all aware that there are plenty of not very bright bigots around.

😂 The irony!

I know if three flag people.

One set are my friends. They have a large back garden and a flagpole with the jolly roger or football. They're daft as brushes and it's not bothering anyone.

Another is in my mum's village.nin a conservation area. Where my parents were not allowed to have certain types of roof tiles or windows put in but the village committee have erected a massive fookin flag pole without asking anyone and you can see it from mum's front windows. I don't like it. It's imposing l. Someone else in village is pissed off and digging into planning laws. I think it's not in our culture and it looks really weird on the green of an English village.

The last one are neighbours of mine. All the houses are in close proximity. 1960s housing estate. Their flag pole is attached to the house. They're on the main road if the estate next to a junction. They're elderly tory people and I don't like theirs. It's making a statement. It's having their opinion shoved in your face. They also piss me off as they get the street closed for street parties which requires diversions and inconvenience but they only invite their little clique. I think they're annoying.

You are James O'Brien and I claim my £5!

My late FIL had one in his retirement but that was because he was ex-Navy and also a bit of fun. BIL lived and worked around the World and would bring one back and FIL would fly it when BIL came to visit. He was a bit of a character.

There is a flag pole in a nearby village that flies the Jolly Roger usually, but also the local football team flag on match days and, occasionally, the Union Jack. Makes me smile when I go past.

They're elderly tory people and I don't like theirs. It's making a statement. It's having their opinion shoved in your face

Would it be better if they were young hipsters who had a flag with Sir Keir's mug on it?

Our local council office has flag poles, as does another public building in the town. All I notice is the noise they make on windy days, and we have a lot of windy days in the UK. It's not just the flags themselves, it's the ropes and pulleys banging against the poles. You could end up irritating your neighbours a lot.

I'm not opposed to seeing flags per se. A lot of people say they're tacky, but it's amazing how many houses put a flag in the window when it's the World Cup, or the coronation or when the Queen died.

And if one of the neighbours happens to be a retired naval officer and wonders why DH is signalling that he has a diver down, just adds to the fun!

You may need to apply for planning permission (£60-80) or special council permission to erect a flagpole in your garden. You’ll also need to have it properly installed to ensure it isn’t (or can’t become) unsafe. Could get quite expensive. Likely to put him off?

Why do I keep get Sheldon cooper fun with flags images #bigbangtheory

I tend to agree. I like a dose of eccentricity and we all have details we’ve always envisaged having to make our home truly our home. Just glad my DH’s isn’t a flag pole BUT it’s nothing I’d mind others having so long as the flags were fun (Jolly Roger) or appropriate ( England on match days etc). I think if you get into political flags ( so supporting certain countries in war situations etc) you arguably make your house and neighbourhood a target and that’s not fair. I think you need to discuss the latter to make sure he isn’t set on broadcasting his political leanings, as well as planning permission, but if that’s all good then don’t clip his wings; let him have his long term dream and be glad it isn’t an affair with a buxom hottie.