To request a second opinion after doctor said baby is attention seeking

[Infinityandbeyondx]

DD was born June 2023 and was a great sleeper almost instantly (much to my delight as DS(3) was terrible!). She would go to bed around 9pm and sleep for 11-13 hours with 2-4 quick feeds inbetween.

When she was 4 months old she was unwell with a virus for 2-3 weeks. Following that (around 4.5 months) old she began suffering with terrible gas and stomach pain at night. Some nights she will wake every 15 minutes crying, writhing around, arching her back and sometimes passing gas. This has been happening EVERY NIGHT bar a handful since early November. GP prescribed gaviscon then omeprazole but neither had any effect. Stool sample came back clear. I also tried cutting out dairy and caffeine. GP then referred us to the hospital for further investigation and we had our appointment last week but I found the consultant to be extremely unhelpful and condescending. Other than feeling her stomach no other tests were carried out. He asked how do I know she is in pain, and said that he believes DD is just attention-seeking. He suggested reducing night time feeds as he believes she is using the breast for comfort, and said that I should offer more variety of solid food instead. She is on the 75th centile, eats 3 small meals a day as well as her milk. He prescribed laxatives which are helping her pass stools more regularly but this makes no difference to her tummy issues at night. Breastfeeding is the only way I can settle her back to sleep most nights. I'm so exhausted but starting to doubt myself and wondering if hes right. But then when DP and I see how uncomfortable and upset she is we know she must be in pain.

The consultant said he will see her again in 4-6 months so I guess we're expected to just carry on like this until then.
Is this normal? WIBU to ask for a second opinion? Or should I just accept that she has a sensitive/gassy stomach and get on with it?

Oh and just to add we have tried all of the following:
•Belly massages
•Bicycle legs
•Upright feeding
•Extra winding
•Bath before bed
•Extra tummy time
•Jumperoo to help move excess gas
•Cut out dairy and caffeine from my diet
•Probiotic drops
•Baby heat pad on stomach
•Raising head of cot
•Gripe water
•Infacol

She's on 3 meals a day at just over 6 months old?? This would seem a lot. The HV advised us to build up to 3 meals by 10 months. Also, we had a similar issue at around 4.5 months. We convinced ourselves it was silent reflux or gas. We tried all the things you listed, nothing worked. We also saw a cranial osteopath. It was actually just the sleep regression that happens around this time, significantly disrupting his sleep and making him very wakeful and upset. It was a horrible period. If this coincided a virus could it be possible that this is causing her distress and waking? At 7m when he dropped some naps everything got a lot better at night for us. I don't say this to make you doubt yourself, you will know your baby better than anyone. just sharing my own experience of searching for a medical cause for something that was in the end entirely developmental.

@Infinityandbeyondx many apologies if you find this suggestion daft but if breastfeeding settles your daughter, could you try a dummy?

You must be exhausted but do continue to trust your instincts. 💐

Of course she’s not attention seeking, what an odd thing for a medical professional to say. I will say that several of my babies have slept really well until the four month sleep regression and then it’s all gone to hell for the next 8-12 months, but as you say she’s in pain I’d get a second opinion absolutely.

Do you drink fizzy drinks op?

3 meals a day is a lot at 6 months!

Okay so it could potentially be that your paed is right, as unpalatable as that sounds.

In my experience very unwell
or unhappy babies won’t just go back to sleep after a feed. Unless in cases of dehydration, weakness et.

the solutions you’ve been offered so far so not seem to be good ones.

fingers xx

Could your baby be lactose intolerant? I understand there is lactose free formula available now.

You cut dairy from your diet and presumably baby is on a dairy free diet and has been for at least 6 weeks?

After cows milk soya is the most common allergen in babies - the proteins are similar to cows milk protein and many babies are allergic to both. Have you also removed soya from both of your diets?

My 9 month old is allergic to cows milk protein, soya, egg, gluten, legumes, fish

Multiple allergies are possible and you can absolutely still breastfeed with them. It's wierd to me that the consultant hasn't explored the possibility of other allergies

Shes almost 8 months old and we offer her 3 meals a day at the same time we feed our 3 year old, but this is often something small so for example today she had a smoothie pouch for breakfast, some watermelon for lunch and egg muffins for dinner.
Thanks for sharing your experience. I do hope you're right and its not something medical.

What a ridiculous thing for a health professional to say. She’s a 6 month old, she’s not trying to manipulate. She’s communicating the only way she can, whether that’s communicating pain or whatever else. Do you co-sleep already? Might that be an option if not?

Thanks, we have tried a dummy but she refuses unfortunately

Very rarely drink fizzy drinks, can't remember the last time had one to be honest!

She is almost 8 months old now and we just offer 3 small meals a day when our 3 year old eats as that works best for us, e.g. a piece of fruit. We are mainly doing baby led weaning so sometimes she eats it, sometimes she doesn't.

That sounds like a LOT of sugar and fibre for a small baby! I'm not surprised that she's gassy. Can you try changing her diet a bit and see if that helps?

I would second the soy
make sure everything dairy and soy is cut out, anything that says milk on the packets (some crisps for example have milk in, you’d never expect that!!)
Try and video how she is and seek a second opinion?
Hopefully it is just a regression/being disturbed with weaning changes etc

Fizzy drinks don't make your breastmilk fizzy 😁

Yes we have been co-sleeping since this started. Also just to mention there have been occasions when she has fallen asleep in my arms but still woke writhing/crying so I can't understand how that can be seen as attention seeking. Sometimes she doesn't even open her eyes as shes so tired and just wants to sleep but appears too uncomfortable to do so 😞

Becoming dairy intolerant isn’t unusual following a virus, and for our son a dairy intolerance was quickly followed by a soya one… worth trying to cut them out too, but it’s hard! There is a Facebook group for breastfeeding mums of allergy babies… any rashes?

I agree with the poster upthread who suggested tweaking her solids a bit to reduce the sugar. DD has had tummy issues her whole life (adult now but this goes back to infancy) and it turned out her gut bacteria was out of whack and she needed to shift her diet.

The doctor is bonkers about the attention seeking. I would have thanked him for the advice and asked him did he think you should set her up an Instagram page to feed her attention seeking but I can be passive aggressive when faced with imbeciles.

Try the Ferber sleep training book.

We're baby led weaning so more actually ends up on the floor than in her belly 😂 Also this started at 4 months and she didn't start solids until after 6 months so it can't be down to diet. The consultant actually advised to offer more fibre as she has had some constipation since starting solids.

No rashes or any other symptoms

Could be temporary lactose intolerance as a result of the virus? Try colief drops, if they make a difference you will know it’s that - I think they are supposed to work pretty quickly.

I wouldn’t start cutting out food groups without medical advice.

Ignore the dr who said they're attention seeking and using the breast just for comfort and to reduce night feeds, what a load of bollocks!!!

It's completely normal for a breastfed baby to still be feeding overnight even if sometimes that is for comfort so continue with what you're doing there.

With regards to the writhing in pain, DS was like this and it was tough. He struggled so much with gas that it made him cry out in agony. It took a while to settle down and even now at 13 months if he hasn't pooped that day he will be uncomfortable overnight. He doesn't seem to have allergies to anything but gas/not going does hurt so I can imagine your DD is struggling aswell.

Definitely look at offering other options of food, weetabix or porridge can be good, she might not eat loads but they could help. It could also be too much fruit that's causing some pain.

Silly question but is she taking a lot of air in when breastfeeding? Sometimes when you're established a bit more with feeding the latch can feel ok but they may not be latched as deeply. Worth checking maybe.

Definitely worth a second opinion I'd say, if you can film it in the night (difficult while trying to settle I know) then atleast the dr's can see what you mean.

If you can afford it I'd see a private IBCLC feeding consultant who will have far more knowledge about bf baby behaviour than a male paed.

My first went through a similar thing 6-10 months but gradually a combination of low sugar diet for me, omeprazole and all the methods you listed above worked... slowly but surely...as his digestive system matured.