To request a second opinion after doctor said baby is attention seeking

[Infinityandbeyondx]

DD was born June 2023 and was a great sleeper almost instantly (much to my delight as DS(3) was terrible!). She would go to bed around 9pm and sleep for 11-13 hours with 2-4 quick feeds inbetween.

When she was 4 months old she was unwell with a virus for 2-3 weeks. Following that (around 4.5 months) old she began suffering with terrible gas and stomach pain at night. Some nights she will wake every 15 minutes crying, writhing around, arching her back and sometimes passing gas. This has been happening EVERY NIGHT bar a handful since early November. GP prescribed gaviscon then omeprazole but neither had any effect. Stool sample came back clear. I also tried cutting out dairy and caffeine. GP then referred us to the hospital for further investigation and we had our appointment last week but I found the consultant to be extremely unhelpful and condescending. Other than feeling her stomach no other tests were carried out. He asked how do I know she is in pain, and said that he believes DD is just attention-seeking. He suggested reducing night time feeds as he believes she is using the breast for comfort, and said that I should offer more variety of solid food instead. She is on the 75th centile, eats 3 small meals a day as well as her milk. He prescribed laxatives which are helping her pass stools more regularly but this makes no difference to her tummy issues at night. Breastfeeding is the only way I can settle her back to sleep most nights. I'm so exhausted but starting to doubt myself and wondering if hes right. But then when DP and I see how uncomfortable and upset she is we know she must be in pain.

The consultant said he will see her again in 4-6 months so I guess we're expected to just carry on like this until then.
Is this normal? WIBU to ask for a second opinion? Or should I just accept that she has a sensitive/gassy stomach and get on with it?

Oh and just to add we have tried all of the following:
•Belly massages
•Bicycle legs
•Upright feeding
•Extra winding
•Bath before bed
•Extra tummy time
•Jumperoo to help move excess gas
•Cut out dairy and caffeine from my diet
•Probiotic drops
•Baby heat pad on stomach
•Raising head of cot
•Gripe water
•Infacol

I would try sleep training. The baby sounds exhausted to me

You know lactose issue can develop later on or cmpa. Honestly I would consider removing it from the diet again and trying an elimination diet completely. I've been there with my girl, it was dairy

I know the doctor has given lots of things but infacol worked wonders for my kids. Have you tried it?

The attention seeking things is ridiculous. The baby is expressing a need (ie pain, discomfort or in our case wanting to go back to sleep but not knowing how). Labelling it attention seeking implies that "attention" ie comfort is not a valid need when it absolutely is. Particularly if she's in pain. And at this age night feeds to some degree are very normal although the regularity and discomfort sound really tough. I was feeding back to sleep every hour but we started to resettle using my husband to cuddle and rock for every other wake. It took time but gradually the wakes reduced to every 2hrs and he was more easily settled. Then by 10m ish he was doing longer stretches. However, if you're certain it's pain then I'd probably be exploring allergies or silent reflux

Duhh sorry. Just seen infacol in your OP.

My 9 month old sounds similar. We tried a few things (no where near as much as you have!) and I know it goes against advice but mine will always wake up within 20 minutes if she’s put down on her back. She is a front sleeper and even though she can roll perfectly well she won’t roll to her front if she wakes up, she just screams and arches her back and then takes ages to settle as she is clearly exhausted and just wants to sleep. She sleeps the full night once we started putting her down on her front and now she’s older it’s a lot less anxiety inducing.

Probiotics. For both you and baby. Especially if the illness she (and possibly you) had was covid.

I’d request a referral to a dietician if you can! My DD was exactly the same as a baby, constantly in pain, really really slow to gain weight and an awful sleeper and it turned out she was allergic to peanuts, dairy, soya and banana. She’s 5 now and grown out of the soya and banana allergy but still allergic to peanuts and dairy but once all that was cut from my diet it made the world of difference!

Nor does eating tomatoes make it red, or orange juice make it orange but ye gods my diet was soooo restricted with dc2 due to her reflux issues. And it was silly stuff like fizzy drinks, juice, chocolate.

Don't be so ignorant.

it sounds like an allergy. There are some very good CMPA Facebook groups with a lot of collective knowledge. Maybe in your shoes I’d try cutting out dairy and soy then maybe egg too and see if it helps at all. You do need to be meticulous checking ingredients. It wouldn’t hurt to see another doctor but I found the NHS support for allergy wasn’t brilliant even though my baby passed a bloody dirty nappy so it was quite a full on allergy.

We had almost exactly this with both of our children. My youngest was fine until she got viral meningitis at 5 weeks old. Both would grunt, scream, arch their backs and scratch at their faces because of the pain. My eldest would also projectile vomit after feeds and I found feeding standing up and bouncing the only way to stop that (exhausting!). I cut out milk protein (not dairy as such- milk protein is in so many processed foods), egg and soya protein. We were under consultant care for both but after trying all the things you mentioned I suggested this after lots of researching and he was supportive. As you’re breastfeeding you’d have to as well. It’s difficult but worked. After 6 months or so you can then very slowly reintroduce. You can use the milk ladder which you can find on the internet for reintroducing milk protein. Good luck and I feel for you- I found it so stressful watching them in pain.

Oh for goodness sake. There is almost zero scientific research that concludes a mothers diet has any effect on breast milk composition. Your breast milk is more similar to blood. So alcohol and caffeine can cross in tiny amounts, but the make up will largely be the same no matter what you eat. The last research done (think it was a meta analysis) found that dairy and other allergens if even present were present in such minuscule traces that they’d be unlikely to cause any reaction. Yet it’s taken as gospel by both the public and medical professionals. Why? Think about it. There are many kids with acute allergies that are breastfed (I have one who is anaphylactic to nuts). Yet I ate nuts all through breastfeeding with no ill effects. People seem to think what a mother eats and drinks jumps into her breast directly from her stomach. I remember being told that eating pulses might make a baby windy. Explain the physiological process that would make that possible? Is absolute BS.

Attention seeking is the wrong word to use but it sounds like they are confident there’s nothing medically wrong with your daughter. I’m sure what they meant was that they are just a poor sleeper who wants mummy when they wake at night to settle them. Not unheard of in the world of babies. Babies do writhe around when they cry at night. Doesn’t necessarily mean they are in pain. Maybe uncomfortable for any other reason. Thirst/bad dreams/ etc.

would second trying Colief drops, they are amazing.

My DS couldn’t be laid on his back at all, would arch his back and scream all night, these drops were an absolute lifesaver. He was gradually weaned off them at around 12 months and was fine from then on. Earlier attempts to stop them took us back to square one so it was definitely a temporary intolerance that caused his issues.

We started sitting our dd on a potty a few times a day around your little one’s age and the position seemed to encourage her to poo and wee. As she got used to the potty it became a trigger to poo and she began going at a similar time every day, maybe this could help if it’s linked to constipation or tummy ache?

See a cranial oesto who is trained in babies. Birth can compress nerves in neck which affect digestion - it’s a thing Bupa paid for our sons cranial oesto treatment. He also ended up on nutramagin and gaviscon.

I personally don't think you are offering enough food. Pouches and fruit are not meals IMO.

Try half a weetabix and half a piece of toast for breakfast , some pasta for lunch and whatever you are all having for tea. I used to batch cook and freeze into ice cube trays so I could give home made foods but with convenience.

Fruit/yoghurts as a pudding after meals and even look for something for supper.

She needs food and a variety of it.

If you don't try changing her diet what will you say to the consultant in 4 months thanks but we didn't try anything?

Caveating to say I'm not a medical professional.

My FB had CMPA, Soya intolerance, horrendous reflux etc.
It could be possible that the virus has caused ongoing silent reflux, the writhing whilst sleeping, being worse at night etc. tie in.

Cut out anything with apple or Citrus fruits. My FB couldn't have the majority of the Ella's Kitchen pouches as they all contained apple juice (preservation). For a short while I cut out all fruit when we went through a bad spat.

It may be something totally different, but my FB taught me to always trust your instincts even when you have doctors telling you your wrong.

I’m thinking coeliac disease? Has that been explored?

@Grandmasswag we had twenty years of there being nothing wrong medically with DD until we actually found out what was medically wrong with her. If a baby is in pain, if a toddler is in pain, if a young child is in pain, then no matter how many times medics tell you there is nothing wrong it does not mean there is nothing wrong, it means they don’t know what is wrong. Not the same thing.

Your DS had tongue tie ... has she been assessed? Because it can present differently, it might be that your DS was latching badly and causing you pain, but in your DD it could be that she just can't maintain the deep enough latch.

Please do see a breastfeeding specialist even if you think the latch looks ok.

Have they looked into food intolerances like FPIES - there are some brilliant gut/allergy specialists that can rule out but it is a struggle to get referred due to the lack of knowledge from GPs on this. If you can afford you can see a private specialist for £250

The baby is in pain. What a horrible suggestion.

I feel for you op, I don’t know what else to suggest but no harm in asking for a second opinion.

My son had antibiotics at 3 months old and his stomach was horrendous for months! It did sort itself though.

Could it be positional? How does she feed?