To request a second opinion after doctor said baby is attention seeking

[Infinityandbeyondx]

DD was born June 2023 and was a great sleeper almost instantly (much to my delight as DS(3) was terrible!). She would go to bed around 9pm and sleep for 11-13 hours with 2-4 quick feeds inbetween.

When she was 4 months old she was unwell with a virus for 2-3 weeks. Following that (around 4.5 months) old she began suffering with terrible gas and stomach pain at night. Some nights she will wake every 15 minutes crying, writhing around, arching her back and sometimes passing gas. This has been happening EVERY NIGHT bar a handful since early November. GP prescribed gaviscon then omeprazole but neither had any effect. Stool sample came back clear. I also tried cutting out dairy and caffeine. GP then referred us to the hospital for further investigation and we had our appointment last week but I found the consultant to be extremely unhelpful and condescending. Other than feeling her stomach no other tests were carried out. He asked how do I know she is in pain, and said that he believes DD is just attention-seeking. He suggested reducing night time feeds as he believes she is using the breast for comfort, and said that I should offer more variety of solid food instead. She is on the 75th centile, eats 3 small meals a day as well as her milk. He prescribed laxatives which are helping her pass stools more regularly but this makes no difference to her tummy issues at night. Breastfeeding is the only way I can settle her back to sleep most nights. I'm so exhausted but starting to doubt myself and wondering if hes right. But then when DP and I see how uncomfortable and upset she is we know she must be in pain.

The consultant said he will see her again in 4-6 months so I guess we're expected to just carry on like this until then.
Is this normal? WIBU to ask for a second opinion? Or should I just accept that she has a sensitive/gassy stomach and get on with it?

Oh and just to add we have tried all of the following:
•Belly massages
•Bicycle legs
•Upright feeding
•Extra winding
•Bath before bed
•Extra tummy time
•Jumperoo to help move excess gas
•Cut out dairy and caffeine from my diet
•Probiotic drops
•Baby heat pad on stomach
•Raising head of cot
•Gripe water
•Infacol

How long did you cut out dairy & caffeine for?

You say you believe she’s in pain. But you don’t mention, have you tried pain relief? Ie infant paracetamol or ibuprofen?

I know it isn’t a long term solution and you can’t keep dosing baby up non stop, but if an adult is in pain they’d not have an unproven potion (ie gripe water), they’d have painkillers. I never understood why people won’t try them as a last resort (not saying regularly but when it’s been going on for so long I’d definitely at least try, because if they stop crying and settle then you know the chances are they were in pain? So you have some “proof” as it were).

I would be very cautious of her diet, fruit and eggs are challenging to digest. Going back to very alkaline simple dairy free carbs may be easier on their digestive system.

6 weeks

Yes we have given calpol as a last resort and this doesn't eliminate the problem completely but has helped her sleep for longer stretches inbetween. But yes obviously don't want to give it too often.

Thanks, I agree and was so angry when he said that! Definitely will not be taking his advice and will be continuing to offer feeds whenever she wants whether they're for hunger or comfort. DS breastfed until 2.5 years old and if was the best thing I ever did.

Weetabix and porridge are our go to breakfasts but will try looking at other options for her diet. I've also considered her latch and all seems fine (DS had latch issues and tongue tie as a baby so I'm familiar with correct positioning etc).

Definitely going to try and video her.

Was she tested for coeliac disease?
Have you tried Dentinox for the gas?

Don't cut the night breastfeeds.

This man knows little about breastfeeding. Breastmilk has a natural laxative effect. They do not night feed just for comfort, they do it for nourishment and hydration. She's still a baby and still needs her breastmilk!

They tend to naturally night-wean around 19months old, so I would not stop the night feeds based on his uneducated (about breastfeeding) advice. Besides, how else will you settle her without your boobs at night?!

Absolutely get a second opinion. Any paediatrician who claims a baby is attention seeking, is one who I would not want to ever see again!

a baby doesn’t attention seek, that doctor is an idiot. It sounds like an allergy/intolerance to me. I would try cutting out all allergens (nuts, soya, dairy, wheat etc) for a month and see what happens

Don't stop nursing.

Try oatmeal with water or your milk instead of weetabix

One of mine was exactly the same, cutting out dairy (for me) did resolve it completely, but upon weaning we realised she also had a soya allergy that was worse, as she grew out of the dairy allergy before the soya allergy. She couldn't tolerate trades of soya/soya lecithins until a year after she had completed the milk ladder. 40% of dairy allergic children also have soya allergy. So my advice would be to try cutting out dairy and soya. What did you replace dairy intake with? If it was soya milk that might be the key. Worth a try.

Just to add, I had two CMPA children. One was non IGE allergy (didn't have hives, just severe gas pains/trapped wind before weaning, then diarrhoea as a toddler). This used to be known as an intolerance but is now known as non IGE allergy. My next child also had a milk allergy but he had IGE, so he had hives when he had milk. No trapped wind or diarrhoea, and he was fine with soya. Only his allergy was taken seriously, but my daughter with non IGE actually suffered worse. Both grew out of it, but I think still have mild sensitivities if they have too much dairy. Tummy ache and wind for the non IGE and eczema and red cheeks for the IGE. They definitely suffered more as babies/toddlers, and grew out of it around age 3. There is some research saying that exclusively breastfed babies who have no formula before 6 months are higher risk of milk allergy, presumably like vegans who go on to develop sensitivity, they don't learn to produce the right enzymes to digest dairy until more exposure. Temporary milk sensitive is very common in all ages after a virus.

If my doctor said my 6 month old baby was attention seeking I’d want a new doctor.

I would make a complaint to the practice manager about the advice you got from that Dr.

Attention seeking is a stupid thing to say, but it is true that babies, just like adults, can develop bad sleep habits. Generally past about six months a baby doesn't need to feed at night, it's a comfort thing. Which is useful for putting waking babies back to sleep occasionally right up until they develop a habit of waking once or twice a night and are only used to breastfeeding to get back to sleep. That becomes hard on parents pretty fast!

All that being said, if she's very gassy and uncomfortable that may not be what is going on.

Is the gas pain just at night or also during the day? If it's both I think that is more likely the primary issue. If only at night, being wakeful might be the primary issue, with just regular gas tending to push her out of sleep when she is already on the edge.

Just wanted to say this sounds a lot like my DS, though he would sleep for up to an hour a time so I really feel for you having to help your DD every 15 minutes, you must be exhausted.
Initially I thought it must be gas/digestion pain as he seemed to be writhing in pain/arching his back etc but as the months went on I started wondering whether it was something like night terrors as his eyes were usually closed and he was very distressed. Looking back now I think he was just upset because he wanted to sleep, and arching his back because he was uncomfortable. Things gradually improved between 12-18 months. He is 2 years 4 months now. I'm afraid to say he still hasn't 'slept through' the night and we still co-sleep because it is tiring, but he wakes up 2 times a night instead of 10.

You would not be unreasonable to ask for a second opinion but I never found any healthcare professional helpful when it came to sleep, and we were never able to diagnose a problem, I wanted to post to let you know you're not alone and I really feel for you. You must be knackered and I hope things improve for you and your dd soon.

I was going to say the same thing about avoiding weetabix! Also, playing devil’s advocate, does she currently feed to sleep? My DC was really distressed after the four month sleep regression. Sometimes wanted feeding every 90 mins so he could catnap because he was so so tired and couldn’t sleep properly. I had a nightmare really until I did a bit of sleep training and within 48 hours everything improved for us.

I would ask about checking for Coeliac Disease.

Whatever you do, do NOT remove gluten before testing (sometimes, stupidly suggested by drs who should know better!).

What about teething. That can have a big impact on sleeping

Omg. You need to report his ass and see that he losses his position. That is outrageous to suggest that an INFANT is attention seeking and needs to be removed from the breast as she’s suckling for comfort. 😡 How dare he?

Hey OP, have you looked into a cranial osteopath? We saw one to help release tension in my LO to help his latch but they also helped his tummy as he was getting lots of hiccups. Unfortunately not available on the NHS but if you can afford it I would 100% recommend as it made a huge difference for us.

My son has stomach issues following a vo.iting bug in December. Where I live, doctors recommemd probiotics after a vomiting bug or when taking antibiotics etc. Have you tried a probiotic?

I do agree that your baby doesn't sound unwell. Good weight, keen to eat and breastfeed. Symptoms only at night. And sleep regression at four months, especially following a virus, isn't surprising.

I think rather than a second opinion from a doctor it would serve you better to see a dietician. Doctors usually only care about pathology (unfortunately) and there likely isn't any here.

Take a video on your phone of your baby waking at night. Then go back for a second opinion.

Soy!

Could be the problem if you suspected dairy. Around half of CMPA babies also react to soy, and it is hidden in everything.

Doctor sounds clueless and laxatives sound worrying so young and needless if she’s drinking breastmilk.

Weetabix is too high fibre for a baby.