Talking to strangers

[susansaucepan]

Do you say hello as you pass strangers?

I will almost always say hello, nod or smile if I catch someone's eye on the street, work corridors etc, even if I don't know them. It feels a bit rude to just rush past someone. I am not sure why I bother, especially as the greeting is not always reciprocated which can be awkward.

My DH has mentioned that my DD “talks to every stranger” they walk past during the school run. He is right in that she does tend to say hello to most people and will happily engage anyone in conversation given the opportunity.

My DH is a quiet man and finds this uncomfortable and tries to use the old “stranger danger” rethoric to encourage the kids to not talk to strangers.

What are your thoughts?

I grew up in London, spent timr in Australia, and then lived rurally in England for a while.Now I'm in a large town.

I'm happy to chat to people that I'm queueing with, or regular workmates, our regular customers and people who look as though they're lost.

I may smile or even "good morning" people I see on a walking trail, or in a small village as I pass them.

But I don't say hello to every person I pass, or everyone I sit next to on transport. There are some people I actively avoid speaking to.

I’m pleased to say I live in an area where it’s still the norm to say morning or nod etc. If you walk along the canal near me you will more than likely have a few conversations. I live up North though I’m from down South.

Had a chat to a chef who was fishing along the canal and got some good fish cooking tips from him. DH had a very long chat to a guy a couple of weeks ago and they ended up swapping phone numbers as support same football team.

@Daffodilsandsunshine very true and as you can see I agree.

I do it where you are passing an individual - in the park or a quiet street. Probably not every person every time. But I do tend to see the same local people regularly and they do it too. I really love this about where I live.

To every randomer round sainsburys? No!

Cone on - this is just a ridiculously hostile response to simple ‘hi’ in passing. The sentiment and wording of this reminds me of something a millennial would post on Twitter. Strong ‘Sorry, I’m not in an emotional place to take on your worries right now though I accept they are valid and will support you when I feel able.’ There’s just far too much reading into the intention and emotion of something that is an absolute non-event.

That's a good idea, I was never without them years ago, but when one of my dogs got mobbed by other dogs she started being reactive so I needed to be all eyes & ears when I was working through it with her.

I'll be getting back into that habit!

Totally agree with this.
Another Londoner here - I always smile and say good morning to everyone on my dog walk. I usually get a lovely response from older people (not always so from people who are younger..) it just feels like a natural thing to do.

I am a country bumpkin and my instinct is to say hello/morning to people more or less in walking distance of my home. In town not so much, but definitely eye contact and a friendly smile, and actually as it's a small town and my circle of random acquaintances is large I bump into someone I actually know more often than not.

I recently visited London after a number of years away and was surprised to be actually shocked by the lack of friendly interaction - hence accepting I'm a country bumpkin now. Back in my early 20s when I lived there I enjoyed being invisible, but the older I get the more my inner ape wants reassurance that I'm part of a pack.

Yes. I walk my dogs and not if a jogger is puffing by no but if someone is not on the phone or chatting to a companion and are looking up I at the very least smile. If they have a dog well then it's usually a quick 'oh so sweet how old/what breed/love that breed/cute dog sweater) etc. Just walking down the street only if I catch someone's eye I'll give a half smile. I do occasionally chat to people in a queue.
My 20 year old son takes the bus and always seems to end up chatting away to someone. My daughter could take a million buses and never say a word to anyone.

Just clarify, I do apply some common sense.

I wouldnt for example be saying hello to people walking along a busy shopping high street within shopping malls etc

But I will generally within our residential streets, at the school gates, at the till, when in queues, at the park, swimming pools, cafes, restaurants etc

Where as my DH will generally only speak to a person if he needs something from them or if they speak to him.

Yes I'll say hello on a walk or chat to a stranger if they start talking. Growing up it was the 'done thing' to always say good morning to people in passing. I live in a rural area though so not a huge city and some especially our older community might not have spoken to anyone that day so our quick hello or a big smile might be the only one they've had. I don't walk around London greeting strangers though.

As a society it feels as though we've become very insular and we're in our own bubbles. Human connection is very lacking these days.

I agree, I never really noticed how much I chat to strangers but when we went into lock down I found the loss of these micro interactions really affected me.

Its not entitled to expect a response when someone says hello, I often mutter under my breathe when a rude arsehole blanks me too

It's literally one word or nod and move on, it's not invitation to an intellectual debate

Talking to strangers you're walking past is, generally, weird unless you're the only two people on a gentle stroll or something.

Totally different if you're stuck in a lift or they're a shop assistant or something. Forced interaction is weird. Natural isn't.

Same. I think it depends on where you live.

I chat to people I meet on the street/in shops all the time and if I’m out with the dog I say hello/good morning/evening to everyone I see, even the youths I see lurking about sometimes it even leads to a conversation!

I can’t imagine not doing it tbh!

Perfectly valid. Sorry some are being entitled arseholes about this perfectly normal comment.

I'm northern, we'd speak to bus stops given half a chance.

Less random strangers as passing in the street just through walking though. the odd smile if you catch their eyes but that's it 95 percent of the time.

In queues, doctors surgeries, waiting rooms, shops, if in a crowd and not able to get round things easily, in parks etc etc... All fair game

Always

Perfectly valid. Sorry some are being entitled arseholes about this perfectly normal comment.

Fair enough that you don’t want people to acknowledge you but labelling someone saying hello to you as entitled and exerting social pressure is extreme. Imagine if a stranger rang the doorbell!

😂😂😂

There’s loads of posts on here from women bemoaning someone having the temerity to knock their door.

I'm an introvert. I always smile , and respond if someone says something. I say hello in shops, or walking in the woods/fields .

Sometimes it can be annoying when people try and start an actual conversation, but the basic smile/hello /thank you it's not an issue.

There’s loads of posts on here from women bemoaning someone having the temerity to knock their door.

So?

In real life I don’t know anyone who hides from the postman or a neighbour.

Another Northener her, Liverpool. We speak to everyone, anywhere. During Covid I'd missed my bus stop/queue chats with older people. Don't squash your children's enthusiasm. Just supervise them appropriately for their age, tell them to not to ever go off with anyone and then as a teen wise them up to pervy men.