Talking to strangers

[susansaucepan]

Do you say hello as you pass strangers?

I will almost always say hello, nod or smile if I catch someone's eye on the street, work corridors etc, even if I don't know them. It feels a bit rude to just rush past someone. I am not sure why I bother, especially as the greeting is not always reciprocated which can be awkward.

My DH has mentioned that my DD “talks to every stranger” they walk past during the school run. He is right in that she does tend to say hello to most people and will happily engage anyone in conversation given the opportunity.

My DH is a quiet man and finds this uncomfortable and tries to use the old “stranger danger” rethoric to encourage the kids to not talk to strangers.

What are your thoughts?

Absolutely yes I do
If popping to local shop, or getting something from the car a cheery "morning" to a passing stranger
Not so much on a busy street, or if I go into the city centre of course!
I also say hello when I approach a counter in a shop, thank bus drivers, and say goodnight if people about when leaving the pub
It's nice to be nice, I'm in Liverpool, we're a friendly bunch

I live in a busy place so wouldn't say hello to everyone I pass on the street. But when I'm out with the dog - or even without the dog but doing a quieter woodland walk etc I say hi / good morning / oh your dog is gorgeous to most people I pass

It feels entitled?? 😂😂😂

I grew up in a small village in Wales and would have been in trouble if I didn't say hello to everyone as I walked to school etc.
(Except the scary boy who stalked me for 6 years...)

I then lived in a big town in England and worked in libraries. I honestly knew someone everywhere we went!

Back in Wales, I say hello to most people I meet where I now live. I was a childminder for many years so people know me from seeing a gaggle of small children walking around! With me!

Recently I made the decision that, as I have no power to directly affect the parlous state of the world I can at least take small actions to make every day a little more enjoyable.

I make small talk, greet people, talk to children and dogs. After years of working with the public I know when people don't want this and would never insist that they reciprocate.

I think it's the norm here though. This week a couple have moved in two doors down and the guy said, he was so pleased that neighbours had asked if they needed any help, cups of tea etc, especially as their tool box was in transit when they needed something.

(I have just smiled to myself when I realised that if I was actually talking to someone local about our new neighbour I would have said " Not next door but next door but one!"
It's a Valleys thing ☺️

I think you’re fine, OP. I lived in a town in France for a year where everyone said bonjour to each other, it was lovely.

But I feel bad for you that some people ignore it, do you still want to do it?

I guess the positive interactions make up for the awkward ones.

When I am smiled by strangers, it is lovely and I always smile back.

This is me, too. I can walk to the shops along the main street - I don't bother people there - or a leafy little back lane, where I do acknowledge those I pass. I'm a big talker-to-strangers at bus stops, cafes, etc.

On a walk in a more rural area when the other person is out for a walk yes , also when walking up a hill . Well or down a hill. I always smile at people in the corridor at work even if I don’t work with them and hello and bye in shops and cafes. Thank you to the bus driver but that’s usually on holiday as I’m lucky enough to have a car - although I’ve mentioned in here before that my mum bollocked me as a small child for saying thank you to the bus driver. This is in a small village in Lancashire but am in London next weekend and will do the same, and most people will respond despite the lazy stereotypes of Londoners.

I smile back at people who smiles at me. I joke if we noticed the same thing. I say morning to fellow walkers and parents if we look at each other. Can talk freely with people if we are stuck in a train or plane but nothing personal.

I don’t even look at people who looks busy, angry, hostile or nasty and have a particular antenna to avoid paranoid parents who are raising their children to believe the world is a nasty place and there’s a pedophile in everyone who says hi.

It works for me.

My daughter used to say hello and wave out of her pushchair every morning when we walked past a queue to get coffees at a local cafe. People smiled and waved back, it seemed to cheer everyone up

Think you're over thinking it. Far weirder to say hello to everyone except women in a certain age group. Makes you look like you have a problem or agenda!

I found now I have a dog again other dog walkers say hello. I'd forgotten they do that :)

Yes, of course! I'm a northerner and it's just what we do.

Yes, i mostly will say hello to anyone and regularly get into stranger chats. Not on a busy street though unless it's school drop off/ pick up, where we know everyone. Londoner, so that's just normal both where I grew up and where I am now, almost everyone chats to neighbours and randoms.

only when walking in rural areas locally: fewer than half the people respond.

Nope no agenda or problem, lost count on here how uncomfortable young women can feel having a random man making comments or unwanted interaction. You have taken what I've said and twisted it.

Oh, all the time!

I chat to people and people chat to me. Love a stranger interaction. I chat and smile to people on the train, in a shop, out for a walk etc - especially if they’ve got a dog - they always seem to come to me, although that may have something to do with the fact I usually have some treats in my pocket!

I too am a Londoner. We’re a friendly bunch (god forbid we should be seeing someone saying ‘hello’ as ‘entitled’! )

Yeah I talk to strangers all the time, thank bus drivers, shout hello when I walk into a shop, and will pass the time of day with people sitting next to me on public transport.

I’m in France so saying Bonjour is fairly normal when passing on streets and expected in shops, banks etc.
Not just to the server. Customers will walk in and say Messieurs, Mesdames to the queue.

I’ve also been eating in restaurants when a customer walks in and says Bon appetit.

It's common practice where we live to nod or say hello to people while out for a walk. We live in a quiet village.

I wouldn't do this in town though.

I smile at women in the street & they often smile back.

Men no, because that’s previously led to the hassle of them stopping & asking my name, where I live etc.

All the time, I'm in the north east, it's what we are known for.

It feels entitled when strangers say hello to me when passing and put social pressure on me to respond, when I often simply want to be alone with my thoughts or focus on the people I'm with.

life must be so tough for people who think like this!

In the town where i work no. In the village i live in/in the office yes I'll smile/say hello/good morning

I've lived in the North, I've lived in the South and now I live in the Middle. There's no difference - the difference is in the size & nature of the place where you live. It's just daft to say "I talk to everyone I see" if you live in a city you would never get anywhere and you'd probably be arrested.

All this "oh we're Northern/Scottish/Londoner so we're super-friendly and everyone else is cold/stuck up" is just so exhausting.

I say hello to everyone if I'm on a run or a country walk. Otherwise, not so much but depends on my mood!

So ignorant not to even acknowledge someone. It takes less than a second to say hello.