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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friend won't go to "building site"

230 replies

ChedderGorgeous · 01/02/2024 23:03

My friend and I are due to go away "somewhere in europe" at Easter. We had agreed on a city break. Lots of options were discussed and we settled on Barcelona where neither of us have been. Flights booked but no accommodation yet. One of the sites we discussed being excited to see is la sagrada familia.

In conversation, I mentioned that it seemed crazy to us, living in 2024 that it had taken 140 yrs to complete and still wasn't quite built, but in the past this was the norm for cathedrals. My friend was more silent for the rest of the convo and today she asked if we could actually rebook for someone else as she didn't fancy going to a "building site" on her holiday (she particularly likes to visit cathedrals wherever she goes). Wtf? I've tried explain to her that it won't be like the quarry of the HS2 extension there, but she is insistent that she only sees a cathedral in "all its glory".

I'm so frustrated with her (given flights are already booked) that quite frankly I'm going to cancel. AIBU?

OP posts:
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TheSnakeCharmer · 02/02/2024 11:11

Gaudi's house is fantastic. There's so much to see and do there. Sell her on the other aspects. Or suggest that she pays for the flights to be changed, inc yours, and that you rebook for 2098 when it might just be finished.

DamnSpots · 02/02/2024 11:12

Balaru · 02/02/2024 09:38

You’re both being weird her for not wanting to go and you for wanting to cancel the whole trip because of it. Just meet up later that day after you’ve been.

Yes, but her friend now doesn't want to go to Barcelona at all and wants to change the trip to a different location, so they can't just meet up later that day after the OP has been....

afkonholidaynearleek · 02/02/2024 11:15

Tell her that she'll probably be dead by the time its finished.

(Although apparently it'll be done in 2026 - just don't tell her that.)

JudgeJ · 02/02/2024 11:16

minipie · 01/02/2024 23:08

It’s her (stupid) choice. You go on your own for a couple of hours and she can visit somewhere else in the meantime.

Barcelona Cathedral is lovely, and complete, if your friend can't stand 'building sites'!

Mariposistaaa · 02/02/2024 11:17

Nobody alive today will see the SF completed. They will keep on and on adding to it and being Spain, it will take twice as long as it should anyway!
She is an idiot - it's still a brilliant place to go!
One thing though OP, be really careful of your possessions in Barcelona. It is notorious for pickpocketing and petty theft. No phones on tables or back pockets, take an over the shoulder or bum bag for valuables. I lived in Spain for 12 years and several friends have fallen victim to this.

TheOccupier · 02/02/2024 11:17

I wouldn't go away with this person.

But if you do, please keep us updated! I love a holiday nightmare thread...

853ax · 02/02/2024 11:18

You can still go, there is a park opposite she can sit there watch world go by.
I visited last year my husband and kids didn't go into cathedral. .I was also there about 20 years ago couldn't believe the progress made in that time.
My first visit there was lot scaffolding and some dust but now lot interior is complete.
It is fab, very tranquil
Don't miss it. If she wants to go in with you great if not her loss.
Loads to do in Barca great city to visit

DeeLusional · 02/02/2024 11:24

Your friend is an idiot. Sagrada Familia is extraordinary. There's one little bit of the outside where you can see the works in progress, the inside is finished.

saraclara · 02/02/2024 11:26

today she asked if we could actually rebook for someone else

"No, it's too late. The flights are booked and non-refundable." ....and end the conversation.

Notalwaysthismean · 02/02/2024 11:31

Oh come on. This is a joke. No one would actually think this, surely.
Edited to add that if she really has said this, there must be some other reason for her not wanting to go.

Spirallingdownwards · 02/02/2024 11:34

ChedderGorgeous · 01/02/2024 23:14

You are preaching to the converted! She is sadly set in her ways and rarely changes her mind. She will normally get a t shirt with a location "ticked off" on the back and she has said she can't tick off a work in progress. I mean I don't mind changing the flights if there is no cost penalty but now I feel like not going at all (with her!)

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She will never see it because they will never finish it. I believe possibly for tax reasons.

MeridianB · 02/02/2024 11:34

She really does sound like an idiot.

freshstartfor2024 · 02/02/2024 11:34

There's another cathedral in Barcelona. Take her to that one instead. Tell her you can both come back again and see the Sagrada Familia when it's finished. 😂

I used to live in Barcelona and could see the SF in the distance walking home from the metro. It's not a sight you want to miss- nor is any of the other beautiful Gaudi artwork and Gothic architecture everywhere.

CormorantStrikesBack · 02/02/2024 11:34

Well she’s been daft as it’s amazing. But there is also another completed old cathedral in the gothic quarter she can see which is equally Lovely.

CormorantStrikesBack · 02/02/2024 11:36

This one. You can go on the roof. It has an internal courtyard with geese. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barcelona_Cathedral

Barcelona Cathedral - Wikipedia

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barcelona_Cathedral

EmmaEmerald · 02/02/2024 11:41

ChedderGorgeous · 01/02/2024 23:14

You are preaching to the converted! She is sadly set in her ways and rarely changes her mind. She will normally get a t shirt with a location "ticked off" on the back and she has said she can't tick off a work in progress. I mean I don't mind changing the flights if there is no cost penalty but now I feel like not going at all (with her!)

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Is this an Instagram project for her, like is she the type who goes places so that can she say she went?

Malvasylvestris · 02/02/2024 11:41

Lol I went to see la Sagrada familia 12 years ago, it had been a building site for ages even then and still incredible. I think it's almost become part of its charm. Loads of other stuff to see too. Show her this thread.

JudgeJ · 02/02/2024 11:41

afkonholidaynearleek · 02/02/2024 11:15

Tell her that she'll probably be dead by the time its finished.

(Although apparently it'll be done in 2026 - just don't tell her that.)

I don't think they intend ever finishing it, part of its attraction for tourists is its unfinished state!

WinkyTinky · 02/02/2024 11:48

Surely you can get her to go, or even pass nearby, and when she sees it she'll realise how daft she's been and that it's beautiful and unique in its unfinished-ness. Surely! Considering you've said she loves cathedrals (as do I, and they're always top of my list of sights to see when away) she must understand how this one works. Anyway, it's even better from the inside, the stained glass is breathtaking, so she'll really be missing out of she refuses to go. What a dafty!

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 02/02/2024 11:49

Tell her sure, but she has to cover all the costs of changing flights.

frami · 02/02/2024 11:51

For someone who visits cities primarily to visit cathedrals your friend does not seem very knowledgable. Sagara Familia is amazing but it is not a cathedral.

Tell your friend that Bacelona has a fully completed medieval cathedral set in the heart of the medieval old town (wonderful maze of twisting little streets and alleys.) and has a flock of 13 resident white geese living in the cloisters! They have their origins in the martyrdom of Saint Eulalia the patron of the Cathedral
and are a bit like the Ravens in the Tower of London with stories of the dire consequences that will befall the building should they leave. She can visit that while you go round the 'building site' if that's what she wants. Better still go alone and do both.

itchyjumper · 02/02/2024 11:57

I can actually envisage this sort of person and their mentality . If she is the sort of person to check off lists, and particularly likes "cathedrals", maybe she is a go somewhere once and feel that's it, I don't want to have to feel obliged to return because I've got other things/ places I want to go.

Could she have found out about the "presumed finishing date" in 2026 after having booked the flights? In her mind she may be thinking, if I go now I won't be going back, so I'd rather wait and go in a few years.

No help to you OP, but I'm trying to understand her reasoning and this is the best I can come up with, because if the cathedral weren't due to be finished for a long time, say 50 years then she would presumably be ok with seeing it as it is, just like everyone else. Man she wants to be one of the first to see it "completed"😆.

MatchingBedding · 02/02/2024 11:58

She’s an idiot. Get better friends.

couiza · 02/02/2024 12:00

Look, the woman is a bit bonkers about this. However I'm guessing there is more to it than wanting to go somewhere else because La Sagrada is a so called "building site".

Suggest Girona instead. Fabulous place, and the Cathedral has the widest Gothic nave in the world. Tell her that! You can take the train very easily from there to Barcelona and can also easily get to the fabulous coastal areas of Lloret de Mar, and Tossa.

However I think she's backing out for financial reasons.

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