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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friend won't go to "building site"

230 replies

ChedderGorgeous · 01/02/2024 23:03

My friend and I are due to go away "somewhere in europe" at Easter. We had agreed on a city break. Lots of options were discussed and we settled on Barcelona where neither of us have been. Flights booked but no accommodation yet. One of the sites we discussed being excited to see is la sagrada familia.

In conversation, I mentioned that it seemed crazy to us, living in 2024 that it had taken 140 yrs to complete and still wasn't quite built, but in the past this was the norm for cathedrals. My friend was more silent for the rest of the convo and today she asked if we could actually rebook for someone else as she didn't fancy going to a "building site" on her holiday (she particularly likes to visit cathedrals wherever she goes). Wtf? I've tried explain to her that it won't be like the quarry of the HS2 extension there, but she is insistent that she only sees a cathedral in "all its glory".

I'm so frustrated with her (given flights are already booked) that quite frankly I'm going to cancel. AIBU?

OP posts:
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6
TotHappy · 02/02/2024 01:01

I can't remember the last time I saw a cathedral in the UK without scaffolding on tbh. They are all 'works in progress'!

CountingDownTheLongDays · 02/02/2024 01:08

She's mental, but it is due to be finished in 2026, so not long to wait...

RantyAnty · 02/02/2024 01:16

Have you been on holiday with her before?

Original poster
ChedderGorgeous · 02/02/2024 01:20

RantyAnty · 02/02/2024 01:16

Have you been on holiday with her before?

Yes. Always to somewhere with a spectacular cathedral!

OP posts:
Original poster
ChedderGorgeous · 02/02/2024 01:22

KreedKafer · 02/02/2024 00:24

She may have led a sheltered life, but if she a) didn’t know about the Sagrada Familia and b) is incapable of looking at a guidebook or googling it and finding out for herself that it is nothing like a building site, then I’m sorry but she is also an absolute idiot.

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She's not an idiot but the situation is very frustrating.

OP posts:
paintitblue · 02/02/2024 01:29

ChedderGorgeous · 02/02/2024 01:22

She's not an idiot but the situation is very frustrating.

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I'm so frustrated with her (given flights are already booked) that quite frankly I'm going to cancel. AIBU?

You are both acting like idiots. HTH.

Original poster
ChedderGorgeous · 02/02/2024 01:33

paintitblue · 02/02/2024 01:29

I'm so frustrated with her (given flights are already booked) that quite frankly I'm going to cancel. AIBU?

You are both acting like idiots. HTH.

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Would you go somewhere you had never been and not see one of the most amazing things there?!

OP posts:
paintitblue · 02/02/2024 01:35

ChedderGorgeous · 02/02/2024 01:33

Would you go somewhere you had never been and not see one of the most amazing things there?!

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No. I saw it when I visited Barcelona many years ago, so it wasn't "finished" then either. Still looked amazing.

But I wouldn't cancel a holiday over her stupid attitude. She can sit in a cafe nearby and still see it without visiting it, while you visit, if she remains stubborn on this.

Original poster
ChedderGorgeous · 02/02/2024 01:37

paintitblue · 02/02/2024 01:35

No. I saw it when I visited Barcelona many years ago, so it wasn't "finished" then either. Still looked amazing.

But I wouldn't cancel a holiday over her stupid attitude. She can sit in a cafe nearby and still see it without visiting it, while you visit, if she remains stubborn on this.

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But I want to see it! She wants to go to another city with a cathedral though. Ie she still wants to see a Cathedral in Europe that is finished.

OP posts:
paintitblue · 02/02/2024 01:42

You could point out to her there are other magnificent cathedrals in Barcelona.
There is the Cathedral of the Holy Cross and St Eulalia; there is Santa Maria del Mar, both built in medieval times.

Original poster
ChedderGorgeous · 02/02/2024 01:44

paintitblue · 02/02/2024 01:42

You could point out to her there are other magnificent cathedrals in Barcelona.
There is the Cathedral of the Holy Cross and St Eulalia; there is Santa Maria del Mar, both built in medieval times.

I will have to have a look at these to convince her

OP posts:
Lavender14 · 02/02/2024 01:48

Op just tell her that while you understand she's not keen, that you really are keen and it's your holiday too, that you're excited to see this so you'll be going but if she wants to do something else to fill her time while you're at sangrada familia then that's her choice. I'd tell her you hope she comes along because it's one of the best cathedral tours in the world and she'll be missing out- but that it's her choice and you'll show her pics after.

She can only bully you out of visiting if you let her. Just be direct and stand up for yourself- if she's a good friend she'll respect that. And you for doing it.

alwayscrashinginthesamecar1 · 02/02/2024 01:54

Your friend sounds like an idiot. It's an incredible Cathedral, one of the most amazing buildings I've seen. Also don't miss Guell park, also by Gaudi.

MidnightSerenader · 02/02/2024 01:56

NoOrdinaryMorning · 02/02/2024 00:43

Well I've just clicked on that virtual tour link and the first thing I saw was a giant Crane..... So how much of an "idiot" is she really?? I can see where she's coming from. Just go somewhere else that you're both happy with! Rather than throwing a tantrum because your friend doesn't want to go to where you want to go 🙄

They both wanted to go there, and the flights are booked and paid for?

IsLarryFromSomething · 02/02/2024 06:05

You could point out that it isn't actually a cathedral, it's a basilica. So there is another building in Barcelona that is a cathedral and is finished.

I wouldn't miss Sagrada Familia, it's incredible inside and photos don't come close to what it's really like. But you should book ahead of time.

sidsgranny · 02/02/2024 06:24

La Sagrada Familia is NOT a cathedral! Barcelona Cathedral is beautiful and very much finished.

Fetaa · 02/02/2024 06:25

Just tell her you’ll go as you’re desperate to see it and she can do something else for the afternoon.

Fetaa · 02/02/2024 06:26

Or tell her it’s due to be finished next Tuesday

Octavia64 · 02/02/2024 06:28

There is an amazing cathedral in Barcelona which is finished in the gothic quarter.

It is built over Roman ruins which are thought to be the first Christian church in Barcelona.

The ruins underneath it are amazing and the cathedral itself is seriously cool.

Seasaltsquall · 02/02/2024 06:32

She sounds like fun. Not.

WandaWonder · 02/02/2024 06:34

Whaly can't you just go to that bit on your own? You don't need a chaperone

candaby653 · 02/02/2024 06:39

Also be prepared to queue. Last time I was In Barcelona the queue was over three hours long, could be even more at Easter so plan it carefully.

AuntieMarys · 02/02/2024 06:42

She is incredibly ignorant

Piapea · 02/02/2024 06:44

As others have said, the Sagrada Famila is amazing. Barcelona is, I think, the only place I've ever done an open top bus tour. When the bus rounds a turn and the building appears in front of you, its a spectacular sight. Maybe do this and she can get off the bus with you at this point, or stay on and get off somewhere else if it's too much of a building site for her.
The other choice I can see is to go somewhere else, but let her cover the cost of flight changes and cancellation fees. You can always come back to Barcelona in 2026 to see the finished article.