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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

SIL and FIL present.

78 replies

canthelpitt · 01/02/2024 15:56

My FIL is hard to buy for, we've done all 'grandad' gifts to death. I saw this on Etsy (photo attached) and thought it would be a good gift. I added all grandchildren's names including 2 of my SIL's (husband's sister) and ordered it. Husband and kids gave it to him yesterday as I was at work. He loved it, thanked husband and when told I'd ordered it thanked me.
Before anyone starts on the 'wife work' comments just want to add my husband does so much for me and us and I spotted this and thought I'd take any pressure off him.

Anyway here is the AIBU, my SIL has texted my husband and complained that her kids don't support that team and that we're using her kids on our gift and shouldn't have basically. I think it's the team that has pissed her off. She supports another team.

Is she petty or AIBU?

She'd also have complained if her kids were missed off.

SIL and FIL present.
OP posts:
BasiliskStare · 01/02/2024 15:58

Is it FIl's team , in which case quite OK

Scalby · 01/02/2024 16:01

If they're mad football types I can see SIL's point. I come from a family of fanatical brothers and parents who support two separate teams with a huge rivalry. They would be horrified to see their names on the other team's anything.
It wouldn't bother me in the slightest.

Zoomerang · 01/02/2024 16:05

I’d find it a bit odd if you’d added my kids to something without even letting me know, regardless of the team thing.

DeeLasVegas · 01/02/2024 16:05

I’d be totally disgusted, humiliated and angry to have mine or my kids names put on that piece of crap as well.

Talk about a team of losers 😆😆😆😆 #Spursy #FOYS #COYG

TulipsTwoLips · 01/02/2024 16:06

It wouldn't bother me although I can see someone else might feel you were trying to speak for their kids without asking them

Original poster
canthelpitt · 01/02/2024 16:07

Zoomerang · 01/02/2024 16:05

I’d find it a bit odd if you’d added my kids to something without even letting me know, regardless of the team thing.

Would you have thought it odd if I put all the others on and not yours (9 in total).

It wasn't from them all btw.

OP posts:
Moltenpink · 01/02/2024 16:07

Sorry I’m with SIL on this one

Poppasocks · 01/02/2024 16:09

Is she an Arsenal fan? In which case YABU lol

CurlewKate · 01/02/2024 16:09

Is it your fil's team? If so, absolutely fine. If it's your dp's-then a bit odd.

Original poster
canthelpitt · 01/02/2024 16:11

For clarification the team on the print is my FILs team. He's a big fan.

I was hoping I hadn't overstepped the mark but maybe I did. She's got form for being a bit dramatic so I hoped it was just another example of that.

A few of you think I messed up so I'll apologise

OP posts:
CurlewKate · 01/02/2024 16:12

I think it's absolutely fine and your sil is being a twit.

CurlewKate · 01/02/2024 16:13

@Zoomerang "I’d find it a bit odd if you’d added my kids to something without even letting me know, regardless of the team thing."

Why?

CwmYoy · 01/02/2024 16:15

It was a lovely idea. SiL needs to grow up. It's only a game FFS.

VickyEadieofThigh · 01/02/2024 16:16

Moltenpink · 01/02/2024 16:07

Sorry I’m with SIL on this one

I come from a city with 2 massive rival teams. My older brother and his son support the 'other' team, whereas my late Dad and I are/were massive fans of the 'correct' team.

Had my brother put my name on anything to do with the other team, I'd have been outraged and my Dad (whose last words before he died was the name of his team!) would have been even more outraged. The same would be true if I did it in reverse to my brother.

Justcallmebebes · 01/02/2024 16:18

I think it was nice of you to include all the grandkids and your sil sounds batshit. But then I know nothing about football

Original poster
canthelpitt · 01/02/2024 16:20

@VickyEadieofThigh can I ask if you'd have minded the other 7 grandchildren and not your 2 on it?

OP posts:
TulipsTwoLips · 01/02/2024 16:24

Could you not have asked her?

Original poster
canthelpitt · 01/02/2024 16:25

TulipsTwoLips · 01/02/2024 16:24

Could you not have asked her?

Could have, of course, just didn't for a minute think I'd cause offence.

OP posts:
VickyEadieofThigh · 01/02/2024 16:27

canthelpitt · 01/02/2024 16:20

@VickyEadieofThigh can I ask if you'd have minded the other 7 grandchildren and not your 2 on it?

Personally, no.

FriendlyNeighbourhoodAccountant · 01/02/2024 16:27

canthelpitt · 01/02/2024 16:20

@VickyEadieofThigh can I ask if you'd have minded the other 7 grandchildren and not your 2 on it?

Are all 7 yours?
If it was me I'd have just had my kids on there, unless it was a joint present from everyone I don't see the need to add anyone else's kids onto it.

pizzaHeart · 01/02/2024 16:28

I think you should have asked her about it. I’m not a football fan so won’t care but for those who do care it’s important. Her kids could complain about it, or maybe there’s an issue with her DH’s side about football teams.
I would apologise, explain that you focused on this being FIL’s favorite team and then I would expect it to be the end of the matter.

Original poster
canthelpitt · 01/02/2024 16:29

@FriendlyNeighbourhoodAccountant

Grandad's team doesn't work as well when it's just him and our daughter.

My mistake anyway, think I'll leave presents to DH in future 😂

OP posts:
Ladyj84 · 01/02/2024 16:30

Nope I have only ever added my own kids I think it odd to add anyonelses

AMuser · 01/02/2024 16:32

You SIL has little to worry about. Eff her. Jeez some people are looking for offence.

Mooda · 01/02/2024 16:34

Another football fan here and I wouldn't love seeing my kids names on a 'rival' team's shirt. Would just feel weird. Part of being a football fan is the banter and tribalism so if you bother to support a team you're not going to want to be associated with the rival. I mean it's not that deep, as the kids would say, but it's a bit misjudged.