SIL and FIL present.

[canthelpitt]

My FIL is hard to buy for, we've done all 'grandad' gifts to death. I saw this on Etsy (photo attached) and thought it would be a good gift. I added all grandchildren's names including 2 of my SIL's (husband's sister) and ordered it. Husband and kids gave it to him yesterday as I was at work. He loved it, thanked husband and when told I'd ordered it thanked me.
Before anyone starts on the 'wife work' comments just want to add my husband does so much for me and us and I spotted this and thought I'd take any pressure off him.

Anyway here is the AIBU, my SIL has texted my husband and complained that her kids don't support that team and that we're using her kids on our gift and shouldn't have basically. I think it's the team that has pissed her off. She supports another team.

Is she petty or AIBU?

She'd also have complained if her kids were missed off.

She is being a bit melodramatic and flouncey - she must be able to understand that her children's names were put on it purely in pursuit of creating a nice birthday present for her dad.

But I would sincerely apologise for any upset and explain I had unfortunately not previously fathomed how heartfelt is her family's football team tribalism.

Fucking hell, my mum would've ripped this up if me and my brother had been put on it 🤣

OP - you can't just assign people football teams when they support a different club!

I'm going to add that she and her husband support different teams and her children are too young to have a team (1 and 2) Also 9 kids and grandma and grandad made a team (11) but I admit I didn't think it though!

I'd have asked her first people get ridiculous about football teams

If you'd done it without a football team it might have been a bit better. It's still a really odd gift though

Also 9 kids and grandma and grandad made a team (11) but I admit I didn't think it though!

See this is cute for a present idea for a football fan BUT if my DC had seen their names on a rivals shirt they wouldn't have been happy! Not in an angry way but more of a WTF way. But we're massive football fans in our family. Thankfully we all support the same team though!

@DeeLasVegas you’re both wrong! IWHTID ⚒️ Come on you IRONS!!!!!

😂😂😂😂😂

OP you did a kind thing which wasn’t appreciated and your SIL was rude

It's still a really odd gift though

Not for a football fan it isn't

There are loads of things like that you can get without it being football related at all.

I'm no football fan but if someone took it upon themselves to add my kids names to something I intensely disliked without even asking if I minded I would be pretty miffed too.

Maybe next time just stick to stuff from your own kid op.

When I've looked there are dozens of sellers selling these and cards and mugs etc. so can't be that odd/unusual

It's football. YANBU, getting so worked up over their names on a picture only those who visit FIL's house will see is ridiculous, it isn't as if you rented a billboard with the picture on it! I would just have a laugh to myself and forget about it.

I do watch football and support a team but I wouldn't be mad if my kid's name was on an opposing team shirt that his grandfather loves as it's a nice present for said grandfather? It's hardly a pledge to support an opposition team for the rest of their lives and it's barely about the team itself as it's saying No. 1 team are the grandkids???

I have no idea why your SIL is so angry - yes, you could have given her a heads up about it but she is a bit weird to be so fussed. It's a present for her dad, not her...

"When I've looked there are dozens of sellers selling these and cards and mugs etc. so can't be that odd/unusual"

It's not - if they all support the same team 🤣

I bet if you hadn't put her dc on and dgf loved the gift she would have gone mad..

Honestly, if I had kids and one of my in-laws put their names on an Arsenal shirt I'd be pretty horrified.

I wouldn't, however, actually say anything about it. The gift's already been bought and given to the recipient, who loved it, so there's nothing that can be done about it now and no point in your SIL making a fuss. She just has to grit her teeth.

Sorry, how many of the kids are yours? As I'd assumed a majority were and you just added SILs kids so ni grandkids were left out. But in another pist you said "Granddads team wouldn't really work if it was just him and our DD" (or something I didn't quote it) which makes it sound like you've only got 1 child.

I find it odd for you to put your nieces/nephews names on a gift that you bought, unless the SIL was going halves.
Why didn't you just put your name, DH and your DC on it (and the dog/hamster whatever).
Very odd indeed.

I've got my in laws a Christmas gift with all their grandkids names on it because it's about them as grandparents and not just about the giver. So in principle I think it's fine, but then I don't care about football.

But it's not an actual team- it's "Grandad's Team"! I think it's a lovely idea. If my FIL was still alive I'd get one for him.

Imagine you had your nieces and nephews round to play and too a lovely picture of all the children. Would it be "weird" to frame it and give it to the grandparents?

Yes, that would be odd too (assuming the other 7 aren’t yours). It feels like you’re thanking ‘ownership’ of a present that should be joint.

It would have taken 30 seconds to text ‘Hi SIL, I’m thinking of doing this for FIL. Shall I add your kids?’. Not doing that is a bit presumptuous.

"Presumptuous"? It's the kid's names on a picture. She's not stealing their souls!

You could only get mad about this if you love football, I think. Clearly you don't and you've done it innocently so she needs to get over herself.

That said, I'd be inwardly raging if a family member put my kid's name on a Spurs shirt 😂

Not cool if you don’t support that team, yabu.

This is absolute madness. I’m my opinion you’ve done nothing wrong.