Asking employer to cover childcare costs

[Totupthenumberspls]

I’ve been asked to go on a business trip for a week, is it unreasonable to ask the company to pay the incremental childcare costs?

I can’t work out what you mean by ‘incremental’ childcare. Do you mean ‘incidental’?

@lifeispainauchocolat i think of you don’t ask you don’t get.

i can’t understand all these people berating you for thinking it. It’s such a weird attitude of like ‘well I suffered so you should to’ or ‘you should have children but act like you havent’

all of this is damaging for women in the workplace. Statistics show that even when both partners work normally the woman is the default parent. So for equal access to opportunities they may need additional support eg childcare considerations or flexible hours.

hopefully as more people benefit from this they will be kinder managers and less hostile to women in need.

level with your manager/HR- customs and practices show you don’t usually travel for work so I’d address it as such and ask for support or say you won’t be able to. Even without children I wouldn’t do something for my job which left me 300 quid out of pocket.

@WhenWereYouUnderMe yes they have done it a few times in the past with gig or theatre tickets when I've had to stay late. I had to give up my evening to work so it's only fair my out of pocket expenses are paid. Same with some of my friends and their employers.

as I said in my OP, one of my friends had a whole trip reimbursed, plus the expenses of his friend because work meant he couldn't go.

I'm not saying every employer does it but it's definitely not unusual in some private sector organisations. They even pay for dinner if you work late and a taxi home (as they jolly well should!)

I get where you're coming from, but - for example, my job had required me to travel, I would have had increased carer costs for my late mother. I don't think that employers can reasonably cover extra costs for everyone.

My employer paid for extra childcare costs over 20 years ago, but I worked part-time, didn’t claim extra paid hours in terms of attending meetings (TOIL) and didn’t benefit in terms of less childcare when I took the extra hours back. I would say the challenge is that your male colleagues go away unhindered by their family responsibilities-my own DH worked abroad for months with a few days notice when we had a pre school child.

As you say, the OP can only ask. I've made the point that employers can't cover everything, but some will.

My stepdaughter worked for a particular oil company. Her role was negotiating to buy oilfields. She got bonuses at her job and after mat leave, got one full month's pay back for each month she worked after returning to her job, until she got back all the money she'd lost whilst on mat leave.

They also covered her school costs when she was posted abroad.(Paid moving expenses and paid for her child to attend an international school there.)

So yes...in spite of what I've said in my comment above, it's worth asking.

You have been asked to do something a bit above and beyond your current role.
You can simply show willing [given it appears to have an inconvenience factor but no real economic cost to your family] and crack on with it while clarifying that on this occasion you can facilitate but due to personal commitments cannot do this on a regular basis.
As above but making it clear that this is above and beyond. ie. please recognise the additional effort here in annual performance review.
Say no and take the consequences for your career in what is normally a good job with a straightforward 9-5.
Develop a DVT issue.
Time the trip around annual leave and turn it into a family holiday.

I have travelled v frequently for work when my children were very small. Still do except it's no longer long haul and they are no longer small and cute. DH has always stepped up and supported me to his own cost as his employers seem to think it's most definitely not his role to do pick ups and drop offs. Ever

I think it doesn’t hurt to ask. I was reimbursed for childcare during COVID, so I think it will depend on the business and the level of flexibility they have for these type of one off approvals. Good luck

This.

I'll add to my comment above: my stepdaughter eventually left her job because of the effect it was having on her child. (Her partner was a SAHF, but one day the kid actually said to her - when she had yet another trip abroad: "Don't they know you have a child?")

Not what you want to hear but I have never heard of a company paying childcare coat while employee is on a business trip. I travel for my job every year or so.

Except there isn't a way to resolve it. She signed the contract. Childfree people shouldn't have to cover for parents

Actually it is indirect discrimination (and illegal) for employers to require something of you which is harder for women as a group than men (and isn't intrinsically necessary to the job). You probably would have a case, especially if you're in an industry where you could argue that it's the norm for your male colleagues to have SAH or very part-time-working wives once they have children.

I would certainly ask (by email to show that you're serious - not just having a jokey moan - and to give them more time to think about it properly). I'd probably include a paragraph about the company's diversity goals (which it has, right?), and that paying for extra childcare expenses to support overnight work trips would show the company's commitment to creating a welcoming work environment for women and mothers, who are less likely than men to have a SAH wife.

cc your HR department - they should spot the risk of discrimination and be all over it.

As for those saying that OP is making life harder for women by making employers not want to employ women, I disagree. I think it's better to recognise our worth and expect to be treated fairly. Anti-discrimination law exists to protect us - for very good reason - and it only works if we insist on it being followed.

OP I’ve only read your posts so apologies if I’m repeating.

What have HR said?

Like you say, circumstances have changed and you now have caring responsibilities. I work in HR and this has come up several times in the past. ‘Sorry I can’t do that as I have childcare responsibilities’. We send someone else. We certainly wouldn’t expect staff to incur £300 of costs so we can send them on a work trip.

Can someone else go instead of you?

I'm 100% in favour of asking for better for women in the workplace and at home. After my first kid I negotiated PT and no travelling because I didn't want to be away from my kids for extended periods at short notice and my employer agreed. I work in a v male industry so it was unusual for someone to ask. I'm just giving this for context to my question.

There are a lot of people saying that if they are asked to work an extra day they ask their employer to cover childcare costs. I work PT and if this happens to me I wouldn't ask because they are paying me for the extra day. So it's just like my contracted days when I have to pay for childcare. Why just because it's not in my contract would I be justified in asking for them to pay childcare when on my contracted days they don't? I'm not trying to be obtuse, I'm just struggling to see this point (and the OPs point tbh, if I was travelling for work I'd be getting paid so just pay the extra childcare cost as normal).

It's weird how you don't care about the person who might have to go in her place even when that person might be a woman so stop acting like it's about being a woman

And they may not have to. You’re getting angry about assumptions.

In my last job a young person refused to go away because they didn’t want to leave their new relationship so they asked the new person if she wanted to go - she has three kids. She leapt at the chance. It was no big deal. You have no idea if the employer will then force a childfree person to go against their will.
They might pay the expenses. They might ask another mother who wants to go. They might ask a father. They might ask a childfree person who is so excited to have the chance.

You’re projecting massively.

Goodness. I'm very surprised that so many people on this post think asking an employer to cover childcare expenses is unusual. It is not unusual in England and is done in both the private and civil servant sectors.

A man would definitely ask their employer to cover their incurred expenses. I think a man would ask their employer before asking friends or strangers on the Internet if it would be an okay thing to do.

Do you guys really see a man not putting himself first in this kind of situation?

If most families have 2 full-time working parents employers need to understand they will have to pay extra to gain extra benefits from their employees. Such as working outside of your working hours.

And to all the women on this thread that would keep all their plates spinning and not ask for help - financial/time off - please stop. Please stop being Mrs. Do It All - you dont get extra gold coins for this effort.

Read my above comment. You’re projecting. You have no idea who might go. Just because the OP doesn’t want to go doesn’t mean no one else does? I’m a woman, I have DC and I’d LOVE to go work abroad for a bit. I’d get a good nights sleep more than anything else.

And to all the women on this thread that would keep all their plates spinning and not ask for help - financial/time off - please stop. Please stop being Mrs. Do It All - you dont get extra gold coins for this effort.

Exactly @EarthaKittsVoice - this can actually be more damaging to women in the long run. The more you do, the more they expect.

@EarthaKittsVoice You are right, women are less likely than men to ask for anything! We need to change that.

It's not about the money. It's about trying to get out of job responsibilities and Palm your job off on others because you have children that gets to non guardians

No I have never ever seen a man ask for childcare costs to be covered when he travels. And I have worked in multinationals, different ones, for 30 years and travel is common. I am also in the finance area and no multinational I have worked for has ever included such an expense in the budget, because they don’t pay for it. I have never seen a woman ask either, I should add.

The difference is that she will be away for 10 days, and can't do any childcare at all in that time.

They normally pay her for 8 hours per day. Or 10, or 12. But here she's having to give them 24 hours in her day, for 10 days straight.

Sure, she'll be sleeping, eating etc. for some of that. But she can't cover any childcare for those 240 hours straight (which they've paid for 80 hours of)

OP please do at least explain to your work that the trip will be difficult due to the need to pay for childcare, and find out what options may exist. I ran a conference once and arranged travel expenses for speakers, one didn't need any as she was local but asked for a babysitter fee to be covered which was more than fine. Equally I've told my work that I can't travel on certain dates because it conflicts with previously arranged personal travel or family occasions (not DC as I don't have any), they've either rearranged to suit everyone or have found another person to go.

What are your other options, can your DH sort something with his work that avoids the need for wraparound? That seems like the obvious fix and as you even mentioned it's what most men would do.