Future MIL dress for our wedding...

[tellmeyoursecret]

Getting married this year and MIL to be has been stressing about her dress for a while as she hadn't found one she likes..

During convos with her, I have mentioned that I don't mind what she wears as long as it isn't white! (This has been in conversation a few times)

She has now bought a dress (pic attached)

When I first saw it after she bought it I was thinking omg it's too white and I still think so now- my dress is off white and in pictures her white would really stand out!

Would I be unreasonable to ask her to change her dress as I am uncomfortable or do I leave it and ask the photographer to not place us directly next to each other?!

@fairo it's not black and white. It's navy and ivory. And look at the pictures I posted. White is not a no no at weddings.

@JudgeJ Gensola
It’s also just very tacky and ugly tbh - unless she’s very slim and tall it will look horrendous

My thoughts exactly! Unless she is very tall and very slim it will look awful.
Who said she wasn't tall and slim?

I'd imagine with the way the navy is shaped it probably looks very flattering/slimming on. Could that be why she chose it?

I think it's fine - it's a typical MOB dress.

But drat and bother you, OP! I love it - so much so that I looked it up, with the idea of possibly getting one. It's £775. I can't quite justify that. Grrrrr ....

Does it really matter? Seriously? It's a wedding not a circus isn't getting married the most important thing

I wouldn’t like it either but criticising your future mother in laws dress choice is a risky move

If it were me, I'd want guests to wear something that made them feel amazing. It's not a bridal dress and won't be mistaken for one so I think you're overreacting.

I quite like it! Has she got a perfect figure? I don’t think it unreasonable and I wouldn’t say anything about it but ask the photographer to organise her and just have plenty of photos without her in if it bothers you

That's the royal family. And they would have run their outfits past the bride.

Whatever. You don't wear "ivory" when you've been asked not to wear white. It's rude.

At least you can look back at the wedding photos and say "Yes, that's my MIL, the one who looks like Cruella De Vil"

#CruelladeMIL

Kates dress was pale yellow, something she had worn before so as not to be of interest to press. It did draw criticism for how light it photographed in bright sunlight.

I also wouldn't be looking to the royals for advice on this, they aren't exactly know for harmonious family relationships.

If she's slim and glamourous, she'll look good in that. If she's anything over size 12, she'll look horrible. Either way, get the photographer to put her at the back in a group photo 😂

Those photos are misleadingly light. Kate wore lemon to Meghan's wedding and the other photo is from Kate's wedding, where her mother wore pale blue and Camilla wore pale green with peachy beige.

I think it looks lovely, and enough other colour to be fine.

The whole be kind thing is really irritating - people are just disagreeing with you. I think the dress is fine BUT it’s your wedding and if you don’t want her to use it tell her.

Wow. Do you usually have such a judgemental and disgusting attitude to women’s bodies and what they choose to wear?

OP are you also going to veto the white shirts that likely near 100% of the male guests will be wearing? Or is it only women's clothes you feel you can police?

No lovey, calm down! It's a dress that would look best on someone like the woman modelling it!

What colour will you be wearing? Something which is almost-white, or something completely different?

Either way, if asked not to wear white I would not choose that dress.

Let’s not be patronising, lovey. I think describing women’s bodies as ‘horrendous’ and ‘awful’ in clothing is pretty gross, but I guess you do you …

At every wedding I have been too there have been guests in white or ivory....rarely an all white outfit but neither is this.
In most cases its the MOB or MOG or both

I think if you make her change it you will then be embarrassed when someone else wears something similar that you didn't get chance to veto.

The whole nature of the conversation....I don't mind what you wear as long as its not white... is a bit controlling in my opinion.

What is your colour scheme? Is sge trying to avoid clashing with the groom and rest of wedding party hence the stress?

I understand that the idea of no one else in white means the bride stands out in the photos, so I think she's chosen the wrong dress. I didn't have a white wedding so it wouldn't bother me in the slightest, however I don't think you're being completely unreasonable in not being happy.

The thing is, you have a choice about what to prioritise. If you've got dreams of the perfect wedding then I can understand that this is going to bother you. I'm trying to see it from that point of view, because I never had dreams of a wedding of any kind to be honest. But, even with dreams of a perfect wedding, when you stop to think about it, you hopefully know deep down that the wedding doesn't actually matter, it's marrying the right person and building your life together that matters.

With this in mind, I would think very carefully before upsetting my future mother in law over her dress. You are likely to be spending a lot of time with her in future, she may be involved in childcare too. A good relationship with your in-laws is worth so much more than any perfect wedding photo. I've been happily married for over 20 years and my MIL is honestly like a second mum to me. I'd hope the same for everyone.

That’s a great dress, don’t worry!

How is your relationship with her in general? Would she take offence if you asked her to change it or would she me upset at the thought of upsetting you. I think you need to weigh up if it's worth putting a strain on your relationship before you ask her to change it.
I personally think it is absolutely fine for a mother of the groom outfit