Future MIL dress for our wedding...

[tellmeyoursecret]

Getting married this year and MIL to be has been stressing about her dress for a while as she hadn't found one she likes..

During convos with her, I have mentioned that I don't mind what she wears as long as it isn't white! (This has been in conversation a few times)

She has now bought a dress (pic attached)

When I first saw it after she bought it I was thinking omg it's too white and I still think so now- my dress is off white and in pictures her white would really stand out!

Would I be unreasonable to ask her to change her dress as I am uncomfortable or do I leave it and ask the photographer to not place us directly next to each other?!

Would we? Why? It's a perfectly normal dress not a brides gown.

There is no rule about being ‘kind’ on MN threads, @tellmeyoursecret. YABU to expect one.

But YANBU about the dress; I would be annoyed too.

Agreed.

My MIL is lovely, so I'd tell her the dress was lovely. But some of my friends would feel differently!

And if the MIL was my friend I'd tell her she was risking people talking about her behind her back.

It's not bridal, I actually like it, looks very elegant and chic.

The issue is not that she will be mistaken for the bride, at a wedding traditionally it is only the bride who wears white, this dress is mostly white and so shouldn't be worn by a guest.

This.

There is no rule about being ‘kind’ on MN threads, @tellmeyoursecret. YABU to expect one.

And that’s because these days “#bekind” is just a way to tell people (usually women) to stop talking because people don’t like what they are hearing

I have to say that I think you're being absolutely unreasonable. The dress isn't bridal in the least, and won't upstage you.

I'm incredibly traditional about weddings-but that would be fine by me.

I got married last year and my mum wore similar colours to this. It's absolutely not an issue, although I appreciate that she wore it with my agreement, not after being told to avoid it! I do understand that you'll be planning and worrying about every little detail, but (unless you've chosen a very formal photographer with lots of posed shots) it's going to be a non-issue. Me and my MIL were only in maybe 5 photos together. It's a good idea to ask the photographer to edit the colours to match if you're really worried.

ETA - I'm usually in the camp of, if you have to ask if it's too white it is, but bridal party is different IMO. White or champagne bridesmaids and neutral MOB/G looks modern and lovely

She's done that deliberately. It's an attention seeking dress. She's deliberately gone for black round the white so that she can say "it's not white". I would call off the wedding and rebook for a day without telling her.

Absolutely this. And it will draw attention in the photos.

My MIL wore a white dress 🙄

Well it isn’t a white dress, it’s not any different from say, a floral dress with a white background. It doesn’t look at all bridal and looks elegant for a wedding, so I think you are a bit OTT about the fact it is partly white. It is also partly black, if it was all white then I would see your point but I don’t think this is worth falling out over.
My MIl wore cream to my wedding and it looked lovely, not bridal.

I would call off the wedding and rebook for a day without telling her.

No you wouldn't. Why do people write such ridiculous things?

OP it wouldn't bother ME but it clearly bothers YOU and that's fine. We're all different. I would be tempted to ask your DH-to-be to speak to her about it rather than tackling it yourself.

FWIW I think if the band across the top was navy it would be fine.

It really isn't that bad in my opinion. Leave it.

Defo a bridezilla 🙄. I mean honestly, the lengths some women will go to to be resentful and seek to exert control/ dominance over their MIL …

For the record. It was majority white with some small blue flowers here and there (my accessories and flowers/colour scheme was also blue) 🙄

Nah I wouldn't be bordered by that dress, it doesn't look remotely bridal.

@fairo "She's done that deliberately. It's an attention seeking dress. She's deliberately gone for black round the white so that she can say "it's not white". I would call off the wedding and rebook for a day without telling her."

You do realise this makes you sound completely insane!

Not white? It’s feckin’ half white! You are right, OP.

Of course it's white! You are not being unreasonable or a bridezilla, she's taking the piss.

It's navy and ivory, and I really wouldn't think that was inappropriate for a mother of the groom (or bride). With navy accessories it will be fine.

So now you know she has zero respect for you.. Therefore untrustworthy imo.